| what it means to live in Chicago |
May 25, 2008 11:24 am
Mood: silly, 548 Views | ...per Jeff Foxworthy you know you live in Chicago....
If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May
If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don't work there
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number
If "Vacation" means going anywhere south of I-80 for the weekend
If you measure distance in hours
If you have switched from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again
If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching
If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them
If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -- you're going 80 and everybody is passing you
If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow
If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction
If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car
If you find 10 degrees "a little chilly"
Being a life long Chicago native, I find these all to be very true.  | |
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16 Comments | |
| the annual review |
May 20, 2008 4:40 pm
Mood: cranky, 505 Views | My anniversary with the company I work for was April 28 and we have mandatory reviews every year. HR uses something they call a 360 review where you and your boss review you, but then so does at least one other manager and three peers - two from your department, one outside your department - all who have to have contact with you.
I HATE the 360 review process, but only because of the person who always is asked to review me - the woman who works next to me. She doesn't like me. We have opposite personalities and have clashed in one way or another since shortly after I got there. Worse now is that I supervise - not her (thank GOD) - but the process she does, the input of payables. So she has to deal with me on a supervisory level, which makes her nuts. If I had a dime for every time I had to hear her say something about how I know better, or she has no authority, or something along those lines, I'd be rolling in dimes, that's for sure.
Thing is, this woman uses my review as her sounding board for all the personal things about me she doesn't like. I'm away from my desk too much, my kids call me too much, I type too much - yes, TYPE too much, WTF is that?????
What gets me most about this woman is that she doesn't practice what she preaches. We work for a ministry and she's constantly pulling up Biblical principals and how I don't fit into those - I'm too bold, too loud, too nearly divorced (GASP!!) - not the Proverbs 31 woman, at least not in her eyes.
But she's a gossip. She talks about me at that desk right next to me, while I have my back turned, as if I can't hear her from 15 feet away. She goes to our boss, the head of the department, HR, everyone but ME if she has a problem with me and per those same Biblical principals she pulls up all the time (to those others at her desk mind you, not me), she should be coming to me to discuss these issues.
She's been getting to me more than not lately. Might have something to do with the fact my boss and I went over my review last Friday and he made a comment about how I'm audibly loud and how to her it seems I'm purposely loud to be noticed.
Now granted, our department is beyond quiet. You've heard of church quiet? Well this is morgue quiet. There's no such thing as a private conversation unless it's through e-mail - or you take your cell phone to the hallway.
Anyway, I probably am a bit louder than they are, especially, my boss has said, if I get excited over something.
Well see, the majority of my department is Dutch. Not Dutch like off the boat Dutch, but in ancestory of people who immigrated to the United States years before. But they hold onto their Dutch ideals like a badge of honor. For them being Dutch means they're quiet and respectful and have this code of proper conduct I'd die trying to adhere to. They actually apologize for sneezing - and not because they sneezed on someone. They say "I'm so sorry" when they sneeze - not "excuse me" but sorry. Amazing!! Plus they shove the Dutch stuff down my throat and are constantly telling me how something or another that they do is Dutch.
I'm not Dutch. I'm half German and half Italian but definitely relate more strongly to my Italian half. I'm passionate about everything - happy, sad or inbetween. I love to laugh and have fun and yes, I'm probably audibly loud. It's an Italian thing. We can be very loud people. Get my family together and you can't hear yourself think. I love it!! It's happy noise - not arguing - but laughter, singing, joyful noises.
But now, on top of this laundry list of things this woman faults me for not being (I have a feeling not being Dutch is at the top of that list) something that's probably more my culture than anything else, is being picked on...and written about in MY review that goes into my personnel record.
What a testament to me. Shari is thorough, she takes calculated risks, she follows directions, applies feedback, learns quickly, helps others, makes independent decisions - oh, and she types too much and she's loud. I kid you not - ALL these things are from my latest review.
So excuse me for complaining. Just the mood I'm in right now. Lots of things going on and it's hard to hold onto this spinning merry go round sometimes. But I do thank you for letting me vent.
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11 Comments | |
| mr. wonderful strikes again |
May 14, 2008 6:49 pm
Mood: loved, 562 Views | Being long distance has more than a few drawbacks, as those on this site living through it - like me - know all too well. But there are ways to bridge the gaps beyond telephone calls or e-mails, and David (aka Mr. Wonderfu) seems to find these innovative ways to do it.
Last week he told me about these flowers his boss had brought in that smelled unbelievable. He said he wished he could share them with me but I'm too far away. Have to love a man who can appreciate that stuff. 
Well, he mailed me one. I got it today. Sealed in a zip lock bag and still smelling unbelievable. It's a little flat, but that doesn't seem to impair its ability to smell good. The envelope and card he sent all smelled like it, and it's busy smelling up my bedroom as I write this.
But more than the smell, is the thought behind it. He wanted to share something beautiful with me, and didn't let the thousand plus miles stop him. Or think, I'll bring her a flower when we see each other again (in 43 more days!!) He went about making it happen now.
So to that sweet man with the beeping pants who lives in the furnace.....thank you for being Mr. Wonderful and for sharing him with me. | |
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27 Comments | |
| my day with the Lizard |
May 12, 2008 3:06 pm
Mood: content, 473 Views | The Lizard has a bad tooth. The dentist looked at it last week and said the permanent tooth is coming through and because the baby tooth is damaged, it's causing some pain. My dentist is a minimalist, and I appreciate that about him. He said unless it becomes infected let the Lizard decide if he wants it out or not. If he does nothing, it will probably come out on its own in the next 6 months.
Well poor baby! He got up at 3 this morning because it was hurting and didn't get back to sleep until 5:30. Mom didn't either, so when dad's car broke down and he couldn't come out to watch him, mom took advantage to vegetate and it became a mom and Lizard day.
Of course he spent a good deal of it downstairs relishing in the fact the older brothers were at school and he had both computers and all game systems to himself. But he and I also went out to lunch - Wendy's. Then we walked across the parking lot to Target to buy some Anbesol if this should happen again tonight.
He's not one to want to hold my hand anymore, he'll be 10 this year, nearly a man you know but as we're walking in this beautiful spring sunshine and fresh air he tells me it's one of the best days he's ever had.
Sometimes I forget that the smallest most simple things can mean the most to my kids. Lunch at Wendy's alone to discuss all the important things in his life, and a short walk in the sunshine.
We got home and he went back to the computers and games for that last hour until the brothers came home. But when he came upstairs for dinner he hugged me and smiled and thanked me for staying home with him today.
I'm glad I got to do it too. Sometimes I forget that the smallest most simple things with my kids mean the most to me too. | |
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8 Comments | |
| Happy Mother's Day!! |
May 11, 2008 8:08 am
Mood: happy, 480 Views | Good Morning! This end of school year stuff makes it tough to find time to do what I want to do - not just what I have to. Plus with Drummer Boy graduating it's busier than usual. But I wanted to stop by and say Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers - and single dads who have to be moms too - and women who've never given birth but have special relationships with children whether through family, friends, or where ever - YOU make a difference and those kids are darn lucky to have you!!
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14 Comments | |
| adding one more to the house |
May 1, 2008 4:23 am
Mood: rushed, 585 Views | MAN!! Amazing what a disruption - though a very pleasant one - that adding one more person to my house has caused.
I picked up #1 Son from college last weekend. He's home until Saturday when he leaves for the summer and an internship in NY. It's a wonderful opportunity for him and I'm really excited he gets to do this. He used to joke that he sold his soul to the Paper & Pulp Technology Foundation in order to get a scholarship that helped reduce what was owed on tuition so he could stay in school, but that same foundation is what's responsible for this internship so it seems a soul well sold.
He'll be in South Glens Falls - don't ask him where it is because he'll tell you "just south of Glens Falls" hardeeharharhar  It's outside of Sarasota and not too far from Albany. He'll be working for a paper company that hasn't hired an intern from Western Michigan (where he goes to school) in 10 years. They're being very generous too. They've paid for his transportation there, are providing him with a furnished house walking distance from the plant, and a very nice hourly rate for someone who's yet to finish his degree.
I love having him here. He hasn't been home since Spring Break the first week in March. But my house is in an uproar. It's not just my livingroom - wait, what livingroom? I only see a bunch of boxes, clothes, bags, and my 5'10" "baby" sleeping on the couch. All of our schedules seem to be off too, and the dynamics of the family have shifted with a "new" oldest around. Of course this is all in a wonderful way, but still, put an extra person in the mix and the blender seems to overflow a lot faster.
My time hasn't been my own since a week ago Friday when I started making plans to get him here - the weekend in MI with my sister, him and The Girlfriend - topped off with work issues, an input person who took herself off the map to finish a report putting more work on my desk, training with a new employee, and a new system with our main bank, and, on the plus side, several celebrations since Monday was my 5 year anniversary there - but I'm still trying to get my laundry from last week done and feel like I haven't stopped running yet.
Though as someone tells me all the time....it's all good.
I do feel bad for not being around more. There are so many lovely people who stop in and leave me messagess - and so many interesting blogs I'm going to need to spend some major time catching up on. But - only so many hours in the day right now and as hard as I try, I can't manage to squeeze more than 24 out of every day.
I'll leave you with The Lizard's homegrown limerick - I got a kick out of this - and try to make it back soon. Happy Happy Thursday!!
A turtle fell into a pot
"Oh" said the turtle, it's hot
He swam about
But couldn't get out
So he jumped and flew out like a shot
Have to love the working mind of a 9 year old.
Later! | |
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22 Comments | |
| mr. wonderful |
Apr 22, 2008 7:15 pm
Mood: grateful, 529 Views | I did not have the best of mornings, and by 10:30 it was gaining a head of major league stink steam. The worst part...it was all MY doing. I could blame no one or nothing except my own poor judgement.
I wrote an e-mail to David. I wasn't looking for answers. I didn't want any help. What I really wanted was to have him closer so I could lay my head on his shoulder and breath, but that's hard to do from 1100 miles away. So I did it virtually, through e-mail.
I don't like to look to comparisons where he's concerned. But there is SO much different about this man from anyone I've met in the past. It's like when you walk out of a dark movie theater after a 3 hour epic into the glaring afternoon summer sun. You can't HELP but notice how bright it is outside and it has nothing to do with comparing it to how dark it was in the theater.
That's how he is. I can't help but notice those things about him that are different, that just make me cherish him all the more.
He didn't berate me. He didn't call me stupid - and he could have, I would have deserved it. He called me on the phone instead. A short 10 minute conversation, but when I hung up, I was smiling He has the affect on me.
Nothing changed. I was still in the same situation I'd been in before I wrote the e-mail and he called. But that very small thoughtful gesture, of letting me hear him say it would be okay, instead of typing it, made a huge difference.
Five For Fighting say it better than I can ...if God made you....he's in love with me....
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7 Comments | |
| the lizard's evaluation |
Apr 21, 2008 6:48 pm
Mood: relieved, 602 Views | The school district said the Lizard needed to have a psyche evaluation. This came up in his IEP meeting. My little boy with the enormous mind has a reading disability and for that gets State mandated help.
He's very anxious, and I've always contended that his anxiety is due to his enormous mind. His reasoning skills are so far above the 9 years of his chronological age. He can process 6 - 8 years beyond his age, but lacks the emotional maturity to handle these things. So he worries and frets and makes himself - and many times me - a basketcase.
This has become disruptive at school and at the IEP meeting they asked for this evaluation. The teachers all agreed - he had 3 of them there, the classroom and two reading teachers - that they had never seen anxiety like this in someone so young.
But the school psychologist who aided in diagnosing the reading the disability, also noted he had not seen a mind like this on someone so young in nearly the last 10 years. It was the first of this kind he'd seen in our town. He called him binary and was blown away at the things the Lizard can make sense of.
When the psychologist I took him to tonight was done he called me in to say I was right on the money. This is a man who knows my family well. The Dreamer has been under his care for two years for an anxiety disorder, which is why I requested he do the evaluation.
He said this little boy's little emotions can't wrap around the things his big mind reasons. He gave me some tips for helping him learn how to cope, and said he would put the same things into a letter to the school district.
I feel much better after tonight's meeting. I've seen serious in this arena with the Dreamer who has a chemical imbalance. I knew the Lizard wasn't there and I'm glad my mom radar was right.
So now to learn how to help him cope. You'd think with 4 boys two of them might be the same? NAH!! The only thing they all have in common is they're all boys - and they have the same parents. I guess this is just to keep me on my toes.
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15 Comments | |
| spring has sprung!! |
Apr 20, 2008 2:27 pm
Mood: cheerful, 544 Views | Well I think I can say the snow is officially gone - thank God!! We hadn't had a winter with as much consistent snow as this year in a long time. I'd forgotten how much I hate it.
Today it's in the mid-60's, sun shining, nice breeze, absolutely beautiful! The Potato Chip Lady next door is enjoying her first official mowing of the lawn (this woman has an insane obsession with her yard), the firemen across the street are washing their trucks, and the Baseball Furies are skateboarding down the middle of the street.
But what do I get to do? The housework I didn't do yesterday when it was 52 and raining. I just didn't have it in me, and I really don't have it in me now, but it needs to be done so I'm going to do it. Though I can have the windows open and this breeze coming in which is something of a consolation.
I did get to do something fun earlier and go the bowling banquet for the Dreamer and the Lizard. The Dreamer has been bowling since he was 4, going on year 12 now, and is very good. He invited The Lizard to bowl with him last year and looks like he's a natural with this too. They got this from their father, I'm very bowling challenged.
I'm sitting here with the spoils of war in front of me. One first place and one high series trophy for The Dreamer, plus a high game plaque. The Lizard has a second place and a high series trophy, plus two plaques for high game and high series - the trophy for high series is because he was 145 pins over average, the plaque was for his division.
(sigh!)
I've put off doing this housework thing long enough. Time to get myself off the computer and to my glass cleaner and kitchen cleanser and  laundry.
(groan!!!)
I haven't done my laundry since before I went on my trip and I'm not looking forward to it. What I get for being a procrastinator.
Later! | |
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18 Comments | |
| on being played by a player |
Apr 16, 2008 7:32 pm
Mood: hopeful, 670 Views | I've been reading the posts lately by those who have been played who are thinking of leaving the site, or giving up on finding a special someone, or becoming hardened and not trusting again. It's to all of you that I want to say you can find yourself on the wrong end of a player but it doesn't have to define all your future relationships, or mean there's a flaw inside of you.
Several years ago I was played - BADLY! The stories he fed me and the things I believed would make a really good novel. I was lonely, dissatisfied in my life, I felt trapped, and after 22 years with a man who did his best to destroy any good feelings I had about myself, it took very little for a smooth talking liar to have his way with my emotions.
But afterward I didn't hide. I barely took time to lick my wounds. Instead I went on this quest to prove to myself that not all men were like him. That decent guys were out there.
And I got played again, and because I'm a hard study, it happened one more time after that. It was then that I looked into myself to see what was sticking out that gave these players something to hook themselves onto. Then I worked on getting rid of that part of me, but in the process, became very untrusting - and probably drove some good guys away.
Last summer I found a balance. I let loose the baggage that gave the players a place to hold onto me. I learned where true happiness comes from, and that it's inside of me first. I learned what I wanted - though mostly on basis of what I didn't want. I also learned how to recognize a player, and ignore them as soon as they came around no matter how good their lines were. Then I found this site. As Dean said in his blog, I too came here not looking for my soulmate, but with an open mind to whatever might come my way.
David came my way. Not a player, but a genuine good guy who has had to, at times, wade through an emotional cesspool to get to me because despite all this work I've done on myself, I still have scars. In the process though he's helped me fill in that cesspool and plant a flower garden over it. He's shown me that being online doesn't mean you get stuck with the losers and players, but that there are real men worth being with - you just need to keep yourself open because after all, it's really hard to walk through a closed door.
I know it hurts to be played, to create dreams you think are as strong as diamonds only to discover they're glass and crack under pressure. But I also know it's possible to come out on the other side with a renewed perspective, and on the arm of a really special person.
Again to those who have been played, whether recently or in the past, take time to heal, take time to get centered with yourself, but don't give up. Good things are out there, and when you're ready, they'll find you. I know, because he found me. | |
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21 Comments | |
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