Kaffe
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Posted:Mar 23, 2008 2:52 am
Last Updated:May 22, 2024 6:9 am 2912 Views
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I saw this photo and though I do not like , I thought it was rather cute. So here it is.
The photographer even captioned it -
"Sometimes they act like ... they've been drinking coffee all day."
Must be the influence of evil Starbucks.
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Easter Bunnies Go Wiggle Wiggle ...
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 9:53 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2008 3:02 am 3480 Views
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So, here's another way to celebrate Easter.
Yes, I know ... I am going to hell. But I didn't make the poster, I just posted the picture.
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Zombie
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 7:44 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2008 11:55 pm 2940 Views
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I like body art. Within reason.
While I love the art involved in the sinuous lines of ink or the jagged edginess of piercings, there is a line of pain I find unable to transcend.
I am OK with pain for myself but find it hard to watch someone else. When getting injections or piercings, I like to keep an eye on the proceedings. I think it is a control thing for me. But I cannot even watch ER or any medical programme where people are getting jabbed or cut without feeling faint and ill.
So, it was with some degree of queasiness but total admiration and appreciation that I viewed this.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Zombie ... a walking, talking piece of living art with his entire head tattoed with the visage of a skull and exposed brain and a body suit in progress.
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The Bunny Was Here
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 10:36 am
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2008 3:04 am 3535 Views
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What part of that was hard to understand?
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Hair of a Dog
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 10:17 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2008 6:39 pm 3429 Views
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I love dogs but this grossed me out.
A couple of lovers decided to keep their beloved pets with them forever by wearing them. Yes, that was my immediate reaction too until I realised they weren't talking about skinning their dogs and being walking taxidermy specimens.
Beth and Brian Willis doggedly collected the moulted fur of their long-haired pedigree dogs and knitted jumpers out of them.
According to the Willises, the hair of the keeps them remarkably warm and dry no matter the weather.
Their first canny jumper was contributed by Kara, their white Samoyed, a Russian breed of long-haired pooch, in 1990 while she was still alive. The that is. Well, so was Mrs Willis, I think.
Mrs Willis declares that the raw material is superior as it is not "hair but wool".
I'm sorry, ma'am but in this here dictionary, it says:
1 a. The dense, soft, often curly hair forming the coat of sheep and certain other mammals, such as the goat and alpaca, consisting of cylindrical fibers of keratin covered by minute overlapping scales and much valued as a textile fabric.
1 b. A material or garment made of this hair.
2. The furry hair of some insect larvae, such as the caterpillar.
I ain't seen a that can cloak itself so well as a sheep, goat or alpaca ... or even caterpillar yet.
She collects the "wool" by wetting her hands and running them over the carpet. I must say that would save on the Hoovers.
In the Daily Mail article, where I got this information, it claims that "The Samoyed breed is native to northern Russia, where they were used to keep warm. Its fur is almost waterproof and softer than alpaca". Wonderful bit of journalism there. Pray tell, how the Samoyeds kept the warm? By cuddling up to them or shedding all over them?
The second pooch padding was from their Swedish Lapphund, Penny, who passed on 6 years ago. No, not from baldness as far as I know. Mrs Willis had a jumper made for her husband this time who wears it into town every Saturday to do his weekly shopping. He claims he gets the sweats from it because it is so warm.
I'd like a penny for everyone's thoughts as they see him lapping around town in his suit.
The hairs are sent to a woman called Ms Malise Mcguire who specialises in the hairy task and has been at it since 1977. Really, she had me at woof!
I keep looking at the picture of the Willises, all pennied up and just think ... Doggone it, that's the most hair-brained thing I've seen in a while.
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Pissed Mary
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 2:01 am
Last Updated:Mar 24, 2008 8:14 pm 3750 Views
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I might get banned for this but oh what the hey ...
First in the writing challenge to myself.
Pissed Mary
How long more must I hold
This ridiculous pose?
She tried not to purse
Her vermillion slicked lips
Perhaps she should have chosen the nurse
Instead of this shepherdess schtick
But how was she to know the perverted preek
Would choose such skimpy nothings
In the middle of the sticks?
There's a bee buzzing near
I can surely hear
It's coming right for me
Probably in my poor exposed rear
My bottom so crudely
Revealed to the motley
Crew of Japanese tourist
Who paid the mad florist
To organise a kinky little foray
Into a nursery of rhymes in disarray
Where little Bo Peep
And Mary and her stupid sheep
Posed as frozen icons
For the flurry of gleeful Nikons
They don't pay me enough for this
I really need a piss
Clocked time: 16 minutes
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Ramblings of Flu
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Posted:Mar 22, 2008 1:39 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2008 6:11 pm 3046 Views
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Gower's 38 words, 1 poem challenge set me thinking.
I confess, I am not that fond of poetry. Shocking, isn't it? I think it's because I see so many bad ones. Most take themselves too seriously and are so pretentious that I get paper cuts in my haste to flip the pages as fast as possible.
That's not to say there are no good poems. When they are good, they can transport you to a better world where words and emotions and mental imageries marry and tarry in your imagination.
I prefer prose. I like to tell a story. It probably harks back to my childhood, listening to my grandfather spin tall stories and lead me on quests that inevitably got us punished by my grandmother.
So, I always feel a little bit of a fraud and poser for writing poetry but sometimes it calls and I follow even if my heart veers to another.
Gower probably had no idea that it was with a sense of mild hesitation that I approached the challenge as his poetry is fierce indeed. But my usually dormant to the point of non-existent competitive spirit awoke and I think I rose to the challenge, acquitting myself with my usual élan.
But that process of pushing myself out of my normal comfort zone made me think. That was rather fun and I like challenges that do that.
I used to compete in the crafting of words in a stressful environment. Plain English speaking using a given concept within 30 minutes of deliberation. Crafting stories with specific number of words in 10 minutes. Usage of words and alliteration in quick draw exchanges. Re-penning of lyrics to fit a melody after one swift listen.
The theme was fast and furious. Rapid repartee of words. One-upman-, or in my case, one- upwomanship of words and speech. Humour always a prerequisite. Wit a mandate.
It honed my skills and made sharp discourses a lethal tool that seared the air with fast paced verbal and literary sparring.
So, I started thinking. How else can I challenge myself? And I decided that I would combine two of my loves.
Art and words. Which to me are fairly interchangeable and quite the same thing anyway.
I will pick an image, be it a painting or photo, and craft words to wrap around my interpretation like a lyrical photo caption. Still keeping to the fast & furious concept. Prose or poetry both admissible. A subconscious, "free style" that will write itself if you will.
Thus, onto the first challenge. Pens (or keyboards) on the ready ... en garde ...
Boy, these drugs work a treat ...
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A Wee Face
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Posted:Mar 21, 2008 11:55 pm
Last Updated:Mar 23, 2008 3:33 am 4032 Views
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Women would do anything for beauty it seems. Even to the extent of having wee on their faces to get rid of acne.
Honestly, tell me, what is the logic behind that?
So you have shite on your face and you decide to add wee as well?
Vanessa Williams was going on about her beauty secrets, which includes botox apparently, and revealed the strangest beauty treatment that had even her balking.
She poohed poohed the urine face wash because she claims she does not need it since she already has Proactiv. Does that mean Proactiv is like pee?
I remember a girlfriend giving me a rather exclusive night cream that she swore was the premium beauty product. I was staring at it when she told me that it was made from placenta.
Let's just say it remains somewhere in one of my boxes in storage and has never been touched.
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Aerial Dance
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Posted:Mar 21, 2008 5:45 pm
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2008 1:46 am 2964 Views
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Just the air, a cable and you
OK, the crane above too
How odd being 40 metres high
Mutes sounds into a wistful sigh
You wrap the line
Holding you inclined
Around one slippered feet
A ballerina at 130 feet
The air is different so far from the traffic
That moves at remote control speed
Little spots of colours that seem less graphic
than the clouds that bid you heed
The sense of being cradled
In God's gentle breath
Or being pillowed and saddled
Both protected and on the edge
It's cooler up here and each breeze defined
Warm sun beating upon your shoulders
Back and face
Legs dangling to the distant ground below
The harness digs into your crotch
Around your thighs
Cinches your waist
You straighten your back
To level yourself
In line with the cable
One line
Together
Straight as an arrow
Tight
Controlled
Yet freer than the immovable anchor of the ground
Up here you are all alone
Peaceful solitude
Your one true home
Communion of the highest magnitude
You can almost hear his personal call
To resist the tempting fall
Deep breaths
Simple sanity
Freedom a commodity
Abound up there in the air
So rare a find below
And then the music blares
And you throw your body forward
Wrap the cable to one side
And fly into the dance
Your only chance
At being an angel in the sky
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The Man Song
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Posted:Mar 21, 2008 1:53 am
Last Updated:Mar 22, 2008 6:27 pm 3489 Views
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This song was actually sent to me by my ex-CEO after he played it for us during a stressful meeting. It cracked me up so badly I kept it in my playlist even after all these years.
Brilliant lyrics. Even funnier if you hear the song.
The Man Song
(He's the man, He's the man)
I don't take no crap from anyone else ... but you,
I wear the pants around here
When I'm finished with your laundry,
Cause I'm a guy you don't wanna fight,
When I say jump you say, "Yeah Right!"
I'm the man of this house
Until you get home
(He's the man, He's the man)
What I say goes around here ... right out the window,
And I don't want to hear alot of whining
So I'll shut up,
The sooner you learn who's boss around here
The sooner you can give me my orders dear,
Cause I'm head huncho around here but it's all in my heeeeaaaadddd!!
(He's the man, He's the man)
And I can have sax any time ... that you want,
Cause I'm a man who has needs
But they're not that important,
And don't expect any flowers from me
Cause if I'm not mistaken you prefer ... jewlery,
I'm the king of my castle when you're not around,
(He's the man, He's the man)
And I'll drink and watch sports
Whenever I want to get in trouble,
And I'll come home when I'm good and ready,
To sleep on the couch,
Cause a MAN's gotta do what a MAN's gotta do,
and I'm gonna do what you tell me to,
Because I'm top around here but I've been neutered!!
(He's the man, He's the man)
You da man!
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