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 | Not for Hindus ... just kidding. Random thoughts, comments on anything that takes my fancy. Strictly a my opinion only & if you do not like, don't read, agree to disagree & go away happy. No flames, (flamers OK), request for photo/green card/webcam action etc please. |
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| What The Dickson Is Rambo Thinking? |
Jan 27, 2008 3:51 pm
Mood: Contemptuous, 317 Views |  | It takes a real gentleman to admit that he beats women.
Sly Stallone's apparent retort, to accusations cast two weeks ago by ex-girlfriend Janice Dickson that he had secretly injected her with steroids, was -
"The only thing I injected her with was my fist."
Class act, the man.
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5 Comments | |
| Helloooo Dolly |
Jan 27, 2008 2:46 pm
Mood: amused, 377 Views | It's been ages since I've heard anything from Dolly Parton. Which is a good thing as I detest country & western music with a passion and would rather be skinned alive, my teeth ground into my skull and my toenails ingrown than listen to it.
Still, I quite like Miz Parton. I like how she's unabashedly herself and has not tried to pimp herself to keep with the times. She's funny, outspoken, direct and no bull-shite. I like her eccentricity. And I like how she's true to and the first to take the mickey out of herself.
The woman's alright. If she would only not sing ...
Reported recently -
Country legend Dolly Parton refuses to conform to contemporary fashion trends - because she's happiest when dressed like "a wh%#e". The 9 To 5 star - who has admitted having extensive cosmetic surgery - believes her trashy image is the secret to her successful career.
The 62-year-old says, "People know I have no taste, no style, no class. If I have any class it's all low. A cartoon character is how I see myself and it's worked for me for 40 years. Even after I got enough money where I could afford to dress properly, what kind of fun would that be? Hell, they know I look like a whore. No matter how much I spend or how I dress, I'm still gonna look cheap."
Parton, who visited the U.K. last year to promote childhood literacy, dismisses her position in a recent poll of the top 100 Greatest Living Geniuses.
She says, "I rather be a cartoon than a genius!"
Hey, Mz Parton, take a look at Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Any Winehouse. At least you have the taste to dress in a way that does not involve your knickers or boobs completely released to the wilds. I think you have class ... true, it may be low but that means it has space to grow. And frankly I rather take your idea of low class over many hypocritical, sanctimonious notions of superiority.
The fact that the woman went all the way to UK just to promote childhood literacy is another indication that Miz Parton has a heart. Many celebrities would plug good deeds that benefit their own country but would really not care much about the plight of some people in another. Unless they are from third-world nations where it will add to their public relations efforts.
It almost makes me feel bad for all the Dolly Parton jokes we used to tell as kids. I said almost. So I am going to share a few of them as I have a feeling Miz Parton would enjoy them too and realise they are uttered with fondness for this classy, funny broad.
Have you seen Dolly Parton's shoes? No? Neither has she.
Why is Dolly Parton's waist so small?
Because nothing grows under a shade.
What song does Kenny Rogers sing when Dolly Parton goes over for a swim?
Islands in the Stream.
How was Dolly Parton brought home last night when she was completely mothered?
Two men abreast.
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4 Comments | |
| Blind Joke |
Jan 27, 2008 2:32 pm
Mood: Religious, 308 Views | A convent was going through some renovations and the Mother Superior sent some of the nuns to whitewash one of the rooms. The nuns were painstakingly trying to paint and not get any whitewash on their habits and thus the work was painfully slow.
Finally in exasperation, one of them suggested that they could lock all the doors and remove their habits to safe-keep them. So, after some initial reservations and embarrassment, all the nuns began to paint in their birthday suits.
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
Startled, one of the nuns asked through the door. "Who is it?"
"It's the blind man, Sister. Need to go through this room to the chapel, Sister." said a male voice.
"Oh, the blind man. Well, that's alright then."
So the sisters opened the door to let the blind man in.
In walks in a man carrying a roll of blinds on his shoulder.
He walks through to the other doors, stops and says, "Nice tits, sisters." And left
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2 Comments | |
| Those Crazy Japanese |
Jan 26, 2008 2:46 am
Mood: amused, 484 Views |  | Only they would come up with something like this. That someone (a female btw) sent this to me is slightly troubling.
Deep Throat Cup
A deep "sucking" sensation made possible by a special structure. Special valves create a virtual vacuum inside the cup, to deliver an amazing sucking sensation. And, the unique pinched-in shape helps to achieve an unparalleled tightness. These advanced features combine with an arousing “slurping” sound and vibration to give you the feeling that you’re enjoying a real deep throat experience.
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20 Comments | |
| Profiled - You |
Jan 25, 2008 7:35 am
Mood: Pissed Off, 475 Views | I remember why I turned my profile off for so long now. I only turned it back on again a while ago when someone (I think it might have been Geomancer) asked why I had it turned off. I had totally forgotten.
So I turned it back on. I admit I am not one to read emails here as I just plain forget. And I figured no one would bother me since I do not have a cheesy, grinning facial portrait or a bosom- or bum-focused photo. The ones who really know me know how to get in touch with me anyway.
Sometimes I amaze myself with how absent-minded I can be.
After turning the bloody profile back on, I started to get the odd troll sending me emails asking if I wanted to be their friend and how they are seeking their true soul mate and am I the one? No, troll, move along.
I am too lazy to even send a Piss Off email and just delete. Some of them are so obviously trolls with names like BigWank4U or some such that I delete without even opening the email.
Then I get the classic email. Since I put my location as Singapore as I am too lazy to keep changing it every two weeks, I do get the occasion lame Singaporean male trying it on with me. From my eyeless picture, they somehow deduce I am Chinese without reading my profile properly. It's that golden tanned skin. Which strangely very few Chinese females have as they are so into whitening.
This classic moron accused me of being a racist and not ticking Chinese for the man I want. Which surprised me as I never even stated I wanted a man. Chinese food, yes. Chinese men ... only if they are delivering said Chinese food ... no fortune cookie, no tip, OK, Wang Ker?
I was highly annoyed and also concerned that I might have inadvertently set the Olympic flames of Chinese men all over the world on my arse. So I checked.
Dude, I have two words for you. LEARN ENGLISH.
I ticked English as the language by which I communicate. Which, strangely and I know it is hard to tell, is the language I grew up with. I did not tick Chinese as you so politely put me down on, because I do not freakin' speak Chinese. I did try to learn and kudoes to you Chinese as I failed - bloody hard language. I can get by on basic and haphazard Chinese that I literally picked up from friends but if you want to communicate with me ... learn to call me a racist in English please.
Also, if you had a modicum of understanding of the English language, I ticked Eurasian as race. That means Not Chinese. Bu shi hua ren, OK?
Thanks, mate. I might not have minded having a Chinese boyfriend again at some point since the last one was more than decade ago (and that was not because I am racist but because I was married after that, you blinking self-persecuting cretin. And I am not one inclined to cheat on me partners).
But after your wonderful display of the English language, modus operandi in dealing with women and general racial superiority, I would say it would be a cold day in hell before I go out with a Chinese bloke, if you are the epitome of your species.
Gong Hi bloody Feck Choi to you.
OK, Ff, you can delete this if you want. I just wanted to get it off my chest. Ta, mates. | |
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15 Comments | |
| Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow |
Jan 25, 2008 7:00 am
Mood: Hairem Scarem, 441 Views |  | It must be a hair raising time of it in Brazil nowadays. Dressed in your new spring ensemble, trotting in your beloved Raouda Assaf, you toss your hair in the wind ... and feel a hard yank on it, before a sudden liberation of unaccustomed breeze weaves around your bare neck.
Egads, you've been hair-hunted!
It's not safe for women in Brazil. At least, not for women with crowning glories. Today's bling is your glistening strands of follicles.
A woman walking to church in Aracaju, Brazil, was the latest victim of a drive-by hacking. Two men on a motorbike pulled out a machete and severed off her waist-length hair that the homemaker had been cultivating for two decades.
In an article published on 24 Jan by AP, the woman's hair used to be a metre and a half or more than four feet long. It's now lobbed off to a shoulder length bob.
Which makes me think Brazilian women must be real tall as her metre and half long hair previously reached to her waist. Now it just hangs from some bloke's groin as he rides off into the sunset with it.
Why would these two men commit such a hair-brained crime? Apparently, to make a wig of the purloined hair. No, no, they were not drag queens on a budget. The black market wig making industry is thriving in Brazil with human hair commanding as much as $550 (no indication in which currency in the AP article) per hot hair piece. Similar attacks in various parts of Brazil have the police scratching their heads and women covering theirs.
This is a hairy situation indeed for women in Brazil. In fact, I am totally wigged out for them. However, I can see an influx of economic growth in Brazil with scarves and hat makers seeing a revival in business.
But perhaps it is not just the women who should worry ...
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11 Comments | |
| Mi Casa Where Casa? |
Jan 25, 2008 1:58 am
Mood: amused, 406 Views |  | I have a fairly poor opinion of construction workers. Not because I am a snob but because so many of our home disasters and stress-related illnesses have come from them.
Perhaps it is karma. In our previous lives, my family might have been termites. Plaguing the livelihoods of innocent, hard-working construction workers everywhere. Such that in this life, it's payback and we are plagued by evil and lazy minions of hell disguised as construction workers.
There was the lot who decided to use a carefully cushioned stack of stain glass panels as footstool to reach some high up spot. Another, who was actually my uncle's best friend who volunteered to help us with our renovations, decided to stand on the WC to affix a medicine cabinet. He must have been about 200 lbs. The beleaguered WC took it like water off its back. Till it cracked under the pressure. Literally.
We also had the cretins who drilled a hole through the tiles in the loo for a mirror and ended drilling too deep and into an electrical wire. Fortunately, none of them were hurt although there was a moment there when I thought I might have to hold my gran down ...
Then there was the incident of how they decided to get rid of excess cement by pouring it into the drains. On the upper floor. The deluge that followed after we moved in was reminiscent of Noah's great adventure. The electrical plugs and lights lost it and we had an electrical storm right in our living room. Cutting our escape route to the main door. We did not have Moses' power of liquid persuasion so had to huddle in fear and wait to be rescued by the fire department. I always found that rather ironic.
Thus, it was with complete sympathy and a sage, knowing nod that I read the article from AP about the Russian woman who came home ... to no home.
Hmmm. Didn't I have a house here?
Thu Jan 24, AP
Returning home after an absence can mean unpleasant surprises — a leaky roof, a pet's mess, even a break-in. But a Russian woman got a nastier surprise when she returned from her country house: her home was gone, torn down mistakenly by construction workers clearing a site, according to a report Thursday on NTV television.
"There was nothing left, not even a log," Lyudmila Martemyanova said, bundled against the cold and standing on a snow-covered lot in the center of the Volga River city of Nizhny Novgorod.
A local prosecutor, Nikolai Govorkov, said a construction company tore down the wrong building — Martemyanova's, instead of one nearby that was marked for demolition.
...
Martemyanova has taken it to court. She refused the builder's offer of money, saying it wasn't enough even to get a room on the outskirts of the city, and has sued.
Court hearings started Thursday. Meanwhile, she's shuttling back and forth between her daughter's and her sister's, she told NTV.
It's rather comforting that there is consistency. Just like the Internet that crosses all boundaries, transcends all culture, race, religion and language ... so does the incompetency of construction workers.
And now I go forth to hide from the bricks likely to be thrown at me by irate construction workers. Bricks and stones, baby ... bricks and stones ... |
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4 Comments | |
| Doppelganger - Exhibit C |
Jan 25, 2008 1:44 am
Mood: Rested, 368 Views |  | And now, the piece de resistance ...
Although I must say I never thought I'd see the day Clay Aiken would choke his chicken in front of me.
With that, your Honour, I rest my case. |
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8 Comments | |
| Doppelganger - Exhibit B |
Jan 25, 2008 1:42 am
Mood: Still Utterly Convinced, 288 Views |  | Now here is Clay Aiken in Spamalot. Note the resemblance? Still not convinced? Wait for it ... |
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0 Comments | |
| Doppelganger - Exhibit A |
Jan 25, 2008 1:40 am
Mood: Utterly Convinced, 267 Views |  | Someone (whose name is reminiscent of a cartoon character) here doubted the veracity of my post regarding Martin Short's doppelganer aka Clay Aiken.
So to prove him wrong, and that I am convinced Clay Aiken might be Martin Short's love child with a chicken (that was just for you Jake), here is a picture of Martin Short. Which will be swiftly followed by Exhibits B & C since FF only allows 1 pic per post. Can someone tell me why btw?
So, note Exhibit A please. |
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0 Comments | |
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