Advertisement
Have fun, meet people, and find love.
My Blog
Blogs > Whatsherface > WhatsTheBeef? > Jun 29, 2008
WhatsTheBeef?
  
Not for Hindus ... just kidding. Random thoughts, comments on anything that takes my fancy. Strictly a my opinion only & if you do not like, don't read, agree to disagree & go away happy. No flames, (flamers OK), request for photo/green card/webcam action etc please.
Title View |
Posts on 6/29View All
Brazilian Waxing Unlyrical Jun 29, 2008 11:41 pm
Mood: Covering Up, 749 Views
This is bloody cruel, I say. It's not enough that women typically suffer from extreme anxiety over the state of their bodies when they have to put on their bathers ... they had to start attacking a leggy 5ft 11 Victoria Secret model for being fat.

Karolina Kurkova was recently attacked by the Brazilian press for having "back fat, love handles and cellulite on her butt". They were apparently "horrified" when the 24-year-old strutted the runway at a recent Cia Maritima show looking "uncharacteristically chubby".

Yo. Get a grip. If that is chubby I would hate to hear what they call Britney Spears.

OK, so Kurkova is not looking as fit and toned as she used to, which is rather unfortunate for someone at her age. But by no means is she chubby.

And don't forget the camera piles on weight on most women. I look like a chubby chipmunk on film when I weigh almost the same as one. Which is why I try to avoid cameras.

I reckon Kurkova has just been laying off the exercise the last couple of months and forgot to spray before going out on the runway.

Still, as one of the highest paid models in the industry who allegedly earns $5 million annually with her famous body, she does have a responsibility to keep it in top shape during a swimwear runway show.

From a business point of view, it is not her weight that is the problem. But when the media and public get hung up on her alleged weight and no one remembers the swimwear line, it is clear than that she has failed in her job.

Note to self: Hit gym before wearing bikini when in Brazil.
22 Comments
Small Balls, Big Faux Pas Jun 29, 2008 9:50 pm
Mood: Amused, 616 Views
And people wonder why I am nervous about speaking Chinese or Korean.

Most of my language skills are self-taught. Learnt laboriously through a bizarre combination of comics, kungfu movies, books, dictionaries and friends.

As such, it means my pronunciation is highly dubious and my comprehension severely suspect.

Thus, I try not to massacre the languages unless forced to. I've seen and heard too many horror stories of people committing major faux pas with the best intentions.

Like the recent one I heard.

I was speaking with a young Chinese dancer who is living in Korea. Her Korean is probably worse than mine which made her recounting of this story doubly funny.

When we were introduced, the hostess mistakenly introduced her to me as Korean so I immediately greeted her in Korean and did the formal introduction of my name. To which she started and, thinking I was Korean, she hesitantly returned the greeting in even more mangled Korean than mine.

When we realised we were both not Korean (no! really?!!), it was with much relieved laughter and embarrassment. Then I tried to speak Chinese, which sent us both into another level of hilarity.

Finally, out of pity, she asked that I speak in English. I was pathetically grateful.

We started chatting about the Korean culture and language and she told me the story of how her American boss bollocked up his first big presentation to a large local client.

According to her, he went into the boardroom and greeted them by something she verbalised as "chanmaneul". I have never heard this before and the closest I can think of is "cheukamaneul" which is, probably, totally the wrong spelling but essentially means "wait a minute" or "wait".

However, she informed me that it was a major boo boo by her boss as it means "You have small balls". Or so she was told by her Korean colleagues.

It did not help that the clients were all Koreans. And males.

Although I have not, as yet, insulted anyone's private parts unintentionally in a foreign language, I have had my share of language faux pas.

Like when I asked "whose flying brother's boat and ship" was about when someone was talking about an email in Chinese. And accidentally frightened someone to death when I told him "I love" ("sarang") him because he was interesting when I meant to refer to "people" ("sarahm") as interesting, in Korean. And I inadvertently called someone a biatch when I meant to say she was crazy in Thai. Not that that made much of a difference, really, as she incidentally happened to be both.

It makes me highly nervous using my uncertain language skills but I reckon if you do not practise it, you will lose it.

So till I tell someone, unintentionally, his balls are small, I shall continue to blunder my way through.
7 Comments
You Don't Mess With The Movie Jun 29, 2008 8:36 pm
Mood: Bruised, 590 Views
I guess I am too used to watching movies inflight or in the relative peace of my room. I seldom go to the cinema and if I do, it is always on impulse and at the last minute.

So, I have forgotten how annoying going to the movies with people can be.

I had the misfortune of going to the movies with a bunch of dancers recently. There was a short break of a few hours in between workshops and a few of us found ourselves at a loose end. We really needed a break, especially from the cloistered atmosphere of dance.

After some absent-minded debate, we decided on going to the movies. Since most of us were English-speaking, we drove quite a distance to the nearest cinema which featured English-speaking movies. It so happened that the only movie with available tickets, that was still showing, was You Don't Mess With the Zohan. Which I thought was highly ironic, considering where we were.

So off we went ... three women and one bloke.

I quickly managed to finagle the corner seat as far away from the lone bloke as possible. Not that I disliked him, mind. It's just that I am not as familiar with him and experience has taught me to avoid sitting next to a strange, straight, male dancer in the cinema if I do not want to risk being groped.

But I might have been safer seated next to him.

I was left literally climbing the walls as the dancer to the left of me kept hitting my arm throughout the movie. Having known her superficially throughout 5 years, I knew she was not the brightest spark. But I never knew how dim the spark was.

She found everything funny. Sure, I enjoyed the movie once I switched off my brain to the level of an Adam Sandler vehicle, but she laughed at everything.

And she communicated her enjoyment by slamming her palm against my forearm every few seconds. When I removed it from the armrest in self defence, she started slapping my upper arm to demonstrate her hilarity.

I swear I have major bruises on my left side. Not since I was paired with Adam the Clumsy have I had such massive bruises all over my body. My left arm looks like Robin Givens. When she was still married to Mike Tyson.

When I asked that she not hit me, she looked puzzled. After half an hour of the heifer's abuse, I lost my temper. When she raised her massive mitts of moronity towards me, I slapped it away and told her if she hit me one more time, I was gonna hit back.

She then turned to the male dancer on her other side and complained that I was "unfriendly".

She must have been hitting him too as he gave me a look of miserable commiseration. Unlike me, he could not threaten her with retaliation.

Things were peaceful for a while. Then Zohan had to shag everything in sight or at least simulate shagging. The daft female on my left started squirming and making squealy noises as she giggled and tried to cover both mine and the male dancer's eyes.

Incredulous, I turned to look at her. The woman is all of almost 50 and she is acting like a 15-year-old!

The male dancer just looked like he wanted to die. As far from her as possible.

By the time we left the cinema, I decided I was not going to the movies with anyone for a long time. I think I will keep to watching movies on flight and in my hotel.

And they did not even sell beer at the cinema to numb my pain.

How uncivilised.
4 Comments
 

To link to this blog (Whatsherface) use [blog Whatsherface] in your messages.
36 F
Guidelines
June 2008
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1
1
2
  		3
1
4
  		5
2
6
  		7
 
8
  		9
  		10
  		11
  		12
4
13
1
14
 
15
1
16
1
17
  		18
2
19
  		20
  		21
 
22
  		23
3
24
1
25
1
26
1
27
  		28
1
29
3
30
1
         

Recent Visitors
VisitorAgeSexDate
joradao 33M10/3
URECA 23M10/1
svsucardinal 52M9/29
ramasamymuthu 30M9/28
cravenlady 37F9/21
iatdosis 43M9/21
Poetdancer0 48F9/15
agag_00_back 33F9/11
beta3444F9/9
Most Recent Comments by Others
PostPosterPost Date
Milk of IndignationPoetdancer0Sep 15 7:14 am
Brazilian Waxing Unlyrical_Whisperer_Jul 17 7:47 am
Small Balls, Big Faux PasFlashMedicJul 9 10:27 pm
You Don't Mess With The MovieWhatsherfaceJun 30 9:52 am
Gated CommunicationWhatsherfaceJun 30 12:20 am
Dance Shoes At Dawnsupaar2Jun 29 9:08 am
Poleaxed PotentialWhatsherfaceJun 27 12:08 pm
Korean EngrishWhatsherfaceJun 26 9:41 am
Hat PrickWhatsherfaceJun 25 2:02 pm
BlinkersWhatsherfaceJun 23 11:31 am
Cinderella SyndromeWhatsherfaceJun 23 11:30 am