| Well Meaning Knife In the Back |
May 4, 2008 3:47 pm
Mood: Shaking Head, 596 Views | Sometimes, good intentions are killers.
I seem to have the singular knack of incurring wrath just by being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Which inspires well-meaning people to try to rescue me. Which then leads to greater ire when the perpetrators are thwarted or lambasted by these would-be rescuers.
It sounds like a warped fairy tale.
Clueless dancing princess gets engaged to perform as a guest artiste. Resident dancer gets totally pissed off. Ignores clueless dancing princess who has more than a decade's experience on her and actually used to coach at her school. Resident dancer makes faces and pointedly snubs her senior.
Clueless dancing princess does her job and buggers off.
At a concert where Resident Dancer was a mistress of ceremony and also the person responsible for calling the lights and sound checks, she conveniently forgets to inform Clueless Dancing Princess of lights check on day of performance, cuts the announcement of Clueless Dancing Princess' number to a single line, reduces the spotlight of the latter's dance to 2 feet and also (allegedly) somehow managed to arrange for one of the light bulbs to explode just before the princess' item, knowing that she would be dancing on bare feet.
Unfortunately, things just conspired to work out in Clueless Dancing Princess' favour as the short announcement endeared her to the audience who had been bored stiff with everyone's long-winded self-promotion and the long programme, the small spotlight meant Clueless Dancing Princess could not dance out too far and so avoided the broken glass and also created a super dramatic effect and exhibited her skills in being able to dance in such constraints.
And the ultimate insult was when Clueless was awarded thunderous applause while Resident Dancer garnered lukewarm and reluctant, polite claps.
It did not help that the manager reprimanded Resident Dancer and admonished her for being rude to foreign guest dancers.
So Clueless Dancing Princess leaves the kingdom unaware of all this and arrives in the neighbouring kingdom to be told that Resident Dancer has called a jihad on her prancing arse.
Right. No worries. Clueless makes a note to avoid Resident Dancer for a while.
Then she receives a call to invite her back to perform for yet another show. Er ... no thanks.
Why?
Your crazed Resident Dancer called a jihad on me.
What???!!
They go and tell her off. And double the price to entice Clueless Dancing Princess back into the bunnyboiler's territory.
Then Clueless remembers that the husband of bestest pig-out mate, Princess EatsaLot, would be in Resident Dancer's kingdom at the same time. Hmmm, OK, mebbe I will go back and dance for one night and go pig out with Sir LongSufferingHubby.
Clueless' ladies-in-waiting are concerned and predict all sorts of dire acts of vengeance Resident Dancer will inflict on her. Burnt or hacked costumes, broken music CDs, accidental-on-purpose tripping or stepping on ankle to cripple her, broken glass on floor as she walks by ...
They decide to take turns to guard Clueless on the trip back to the kingdom of crazy dancers.
Clueless Dancing Princess is bemused but still only mildly perturbed.
Then another guest dancer for the same establishment calls. She was doing fairly regular shows there and was an ex-student of Z, the local psycho dancer.
Apparently, Z had initially arranged for her dancing princesses to perform there but had, in some misguided fit of insanity, decided to dance there herself. The managers were so horrified they cancelled the contract immediately.
Then they discovered beauteous Princess F who they approached to grace them with semi-regular performances.
All was seemingly well till Prince F, hubby of Princess F, noticed Z stalking the place. She did not announce her presence or approach her student but instead sent nasty messages throughout the next few days accusing the beleaguered princess of crimes against art, mankind, her, religion and the lot.
She insulted the princess' parents for not bringing her up right, her dressing, her morals and it became such a nasty volley of personal insults that Clueless Dancing Princess developed an instant migraine just reading them.
Princess F, not being a wilting violet and more a violent cactus when riled, hit back.
All this would really not be of any real concern to Clueless Dancing Princess except for one line of questioning that Z kept throwing at Princess F.
Who was the dancing princess who danced on that date and has been asked to return again?
Uh oh ...
Princess F, in an attempt to protect her dancing princess friend, hurls a venomous insult back that the identity of the dancing princess is of no importance or any business of hers except to know that she is a 100 times better than Z was and that is why she is invited back.
Yes, Clueless banged her head with her palm when she read that too.
So, now Clueless not only has to worry about sabotage from Resident Dancer when she performs on that one night, she has to contend with a possible violent outburst from Z who will inevitably turn up to create a scene.
Joy.
Clueless is going to go pig out now. | |
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