| Get Out of Your Clothes |
May 2, 2008 6:29 pm
Mood: Leery, 560 Views | I am always amused by the dancers who pay more attention to their external raiment than their internal growth and development of their craft.
At a recent concert, there were many students and amateurs performing a group numbers. They were by no means professional dancers but the airs they exhibited could rival some of the top prima donnas I have had the misfortune of meeting.
Typically, if I do not have my own private dressing room, I would dress in the makeup studios, arrive at the venue fully ready and spend most of it in the darkened corners or wings so I do not have to mingle and pierce my much-needed peace with the inevitable high-pitched, incessant squeals and shrieks of over-excited and over-inflated egos.
The students were recognisable from a mile off. Even before they danced. You can spot them by the fact that they had upended their entire collection of costume jewelery and draped every single available body part with them. They also had a mishmash of cultural indicators from Indian bhindis to French manicures to fake nose rings and Goth belts.
Their makeup was also all awash with glitter of all different shades and sizes.
In other words, they were a hot, tranny mess.
I call it the X'mas tree syndrome.
You know what that is. Every X'mas some obnoxious member of the family will insist on placing every single bauble and decoration you own on the poor beleaguered tree regardless of the colour theme, concept or even size of the poor shrub.
Never has my favourite mantra of less is more rang so closely to the truth.
They cooed and drooled over my costume and one of them remarked that it was incredibly beautiful and elegant despite being quite a simple costume.
She was bedecked in different, lurid shades of gold and purples with more bling on it than a FF blogger on attention-deficit patrol.
I just smiled and said I like things simple and prefer to focus on highlighting rather than over-powering. She was too slow-witted to catch my drift but it was enough to send her packing in confused admiration so I could regain some measure of peace and quiet.
A friend remarked that everything about my performance was under-stated which made the over-blown tackiness of the other performers even more jarring. The announcement of my number was one line compared to the dissertations of the others. My song was shorter than most which went on so long that the man next to her slept throughout and apparently only woke up and stayed awake during mine and another dancer's number. I also only had a single spotlight and a plain backdrop compared to the flashing disco lights and naft photos and paintings of the others.
My costume was indigo blue strewn with pale gold on the borders. She said the brightest jewel I wore was my skin against the glowing blue. Yes, she is also a writer.
People do not realise that excess is never more painful than when juxtaposed against simplicity. The need to impress and their insecurity prompt many to gild the lily.
The next day I received many calls, emails and messages asking me where I had bought my costume so they could get the same. When told I design almost all my own costumes and have them made and the cost of my seemingly simple costumes, they were stunned into silence.
"Wow, so expensive. But it looks so simple."
"Yes, but simple beauty is the hardest to achieve. I focus on quality and not quantity. I let the fabric speak rather than the glitz. And the dance is more important than the prop."
"Oh, can you design a costume for me?"
"Not really as I do not have the time and I need to know how you move and your personality before I could do that. I can design for myself as I know me best and the costumes reflect me."
"Yes, they are beautiful and so rich yet so simple. So you. So can I buy that one off you?"
Sigh.
A couple of days later, I was performing in one of the few costumes I have not designed. A fairly simple, fitted column of peacock hues with dramatic gold beadings and similar-coloured sequins with a unique single, flowing sleeve.
A man claiming to be a top dancer was sitting with his girlfriend and asked if they could take pictures with me.
He claimed to know people from my industry but the names were unfamiliar. He also asked his girlfriend, who had been cooing over my costume, if she wanted it and that he would get it for her the next day.
I refrained from informing him that it was a one-of-a-kind piece specifically designed by a rather famous designer friend as a gift.
Obviously he was trying to impress her and I could not be arsed to expose him for the twat I thought he was. She looked even more slow-witted than him so she might not discover that for a while.
So, the next morning ... very early in the morning ... I get a call. It was the arrogant, so-called dancer/producer. Somehow he had managed to obtain my number and wanted to find out where he could get the costume.
I gently informed him that it was an exclusive piece made specifically for me by a costume designer friend in Egypt who was an ex-dancer. He was very disappointed and I can only conclude that he did not get any the night before due to his inability to produce the costume so coveted by his girlfriend.
He asked for the contact details of the designer and I gave it to him with some trepidation and a vow to instantly send off a note to her apologising in advance when this moron offended her.
Then he asked, "But my girlfriend really, really likes your costume. Can I buy it off you?"
"No, I am sorry. It was a gift and I do not give gifts from the heart to me to others."
"How much to make you change your mind?"
"No amount of money will ever make me change my mind. In fact, the more money proffered, the more stubborn I get."
"Oh come on, you can name a price and get more costumes with the profit. Name a price."
"There are no costumes like this costume. It is not just a costume. She presented this to me as a thank-you and an affirmation of friendship and respect. Respect cannot be bought. I am sorry but I have to leave for a breakfast meeting."
"Why don't I commission her to do another piece for you and you give me that costume? My girlfriend really wants to look just like you."
"No. Just a friendly piece of advice. She used to be a dancer and she typically only designs for dancers. And dancers are a strange breed, as you should know since you claim to be one. We are easily insulted and think anyone not a dancer is clueless. You might want to keep that in mind when you deal with her so she will deign to entertain your call. I have to go now. Have a nice day and goodbye."
I did not fancy being stripped naked so someone could try to assume my persona. Furthermore, looking at the girlfriend's figure, there was no way she could have worn my costume since it was designed to fit every curve.
No, you cannot have the clothes off my back. And no, you will never get what is inside or outside as nothing is of importance to you.
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