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For all married couples Aug 25, 2008 7:31 am
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When I got home that night as my wife served dinner,
I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you.
She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the
hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open
my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking.
I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't
seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked
me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her
angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at
me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was
weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had
happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give
her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to
a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her
anymore.. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of
guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated
that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake
of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it
into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of
her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry
for her wasted time, resources and energy but I
could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew
so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me,
which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry
was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce
which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be
firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found
her writing something at the table. I didn't have
supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep
very fast because I was tired after an eventful day
with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the
table writing. I just did not care so I turned over
and was asleep again. In the morning she presented
her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything
from me, but needed a month's notice before the
divorce. She requested that in that one month we
both struggle to live as normal a life as possible.
Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a
months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with
our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But
she had something more, she asked me to recall how I
had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding
day. She requested that everyday for the month's
duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front
door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.
Just to make our las! t days together bearable I
accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife s
divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought
it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies,
she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my
divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when
I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared
clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding
mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of
pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to
the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my
arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't
tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling
somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She
went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to
the office. On the second day, both of us acted much
more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell
the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I
hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long
time. I realised she was not young any more. There
were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was
greying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For
a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a
sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who
had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth
and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy
was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It
became easier to carry her as the month slipped by.
Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She
was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on
quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable
one. Then she sighed, all my
dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that
she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I
could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she
had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.
Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's
time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father
carrying his mother out had become an essential part
of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come
closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away
because I was afraid I might change my mind at this
last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking
from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the
hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and
naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like
our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me
sad. On the last day, when I held
her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son
had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I
hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly
without locking the door. I was afraid any delay
would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs.
Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I
do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me,
astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a
fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head.
Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage
life was boring probably because she and I didn't
value the details of our lives, not because we
didn't love each other any more. Now I realise that
since I carried her into my home on our wedding day
I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.
Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud
slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears.
I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet
of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what
to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry
you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really
matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the
car, property, the money in
the bank, blah.. blah.. blah. These create an
environment conducive for happiness but cannot give
happiness in themselves. So find time to be your
spouse's friend and do those little things for each
other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy
marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will
happen to you, but if you do, you just might save a
marriage.
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For all married couplespointoflight2008Sep 27 2:45 pm