| Some Lessons On Life .... |
Mar 31, 2007 12:46 am
Mood: thoughtful, 1194 Views |  | I have learned that the best time to know yourself is when you're faced with a great trial...when you choose to stand tall, keep going and take your trial as just a situation and nothing more.
I have learned that the most painful thing that can happen to you is to be betrayed by someone you trusted most... yet the sweetest feeling is to know that you can accept it, can forgive it and can live through it. Even more so...to keep hoping and start working at your next steps as if nothing painful really happened.
I have learned that no one else is capable or responsible of making me happy. I have to help myself by planning how to achieve my dreams and work at it one day at a time and not lose my vision.
I have learned that NO may just be the right answer. The world will not crumble if I say NO to someone's wish that will take the time that I do not have or resources that I can not give. Learning the power to say, "No" or, "Not today," or "Sorry, I can't, I am busy," gives me the chance to focus on what really matters to me and avoid people who are unnecessarily dependent on me. ... It is the most difficult task, but very neccessary for self-survival 
Take care,
God bless you all my friends  |
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14 Comments | |
| What's Ur Type? |
Mar 29, 2007 11:41 pm
Mood: curious, 1233 Views |  | Breast ID System
(o)(o)
perfect breasts
( + )( + )
fake silicone breasts
(*)(*)
high nipple breasts
(@)(@)
big nipple breasts (you know who you are)
oo
a cups
{ O }{ O }
d cups
(oYo)
wonder bra breasts
( ^)( ^)
cold breasts
( o )( O )
lopsided breasts
(Q)(Q)
pierced breasts
(p)(p)
breasts w/hanging tassels
(: o)(o)
bitten by a vampire breasts
o/o/
Grandma's breasts
( - )( - )
flat against the shower door breasts
< o < o
electric shock breasts
|o||o|
android breasts
(/)(o)
scratched breasts (ouch)
( % )(o)
extra nipple breasts
($)($)
Jenny McCarthy's breasts
(^o)(o)
zit on your breast
( o Y o )
poses for playboy magazine breasts
'
'
U think they let me get away with it or censor it?  |
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12 Comments | |
| The Garden Of Eden |
Mar 29, 2007 9:09 am
Mood: curious, 1021 Views |  | One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord, I have a problem!" "What's the problem, Eve?" "Lord, I know you've created me and have provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy." "Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above. "Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of apples." "Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you." "What's a 'man', Lord?" "This man will be a flawed creature, with aggressive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to empathize or listen to you properly. All in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger and faster and more muscular than you. He'll be really good at fighting and kicking a ball and hunting fleet-footed ruminants, and not altogether bad in the sack." "Sounds great," says Eve, with an ironically raised eyebrow. "Yeah, well. He's better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick. But, you can have him on one condition." "What's that, Lord?" "You'll have to let him believe that I made him first."
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1 comment | |
| Didn't You Ever Wonder ... |
Mar 29, 2007 3:04 am
Mood: curious, 1236 Views |  |
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why you never see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
Why doctors call what they do "practice"?
And...
Why is it that to stop Windows, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why - don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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16 Comments | |
| Tears in Heaven |
Mar 28, 2007 10:10 am
Mood: peaceful, 1214 Views |  |
Emotion is the trigger
that births a tiny tear
Could be love or happiness
or sadness and/or fear
Tear drops start their flowing
from deep within our heart
When feelings overwhelm us
through our eyes they will depart
Tears of Sorrow - Tears of Joy
Tears of sheer delight
Tears that build within us
Tears that cloud our sight
But when the tear drops finish
a sense of calm is there
For tears are an expression
of an experience that we share
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13 Comments | |
| 10 Things Not To Tell Your Boyfriend |
Mar 28, 2007 7:22 am
Mood: crazy, 1374 Views | 10. Oh come on! Who's gonna find out?
9. Well, your brother likes it this way.
8. Eeewww! Put that back in your shorts!
7. Dare to compare?
6. Can you go to the store and get me some tampons?
5. Is it supposed to bend that way?
4. Can I twist your wiener into a poodle?
3. Just go away I can finish myself!
2. I'm pregnant. . . . Ha just kidding!
1. Is it in yet? | |
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11 Comments | |
| Anyone 4 Marriage? |
Mar 28, 2007 12:35 am
Mood: bouncy, 829 Views |  | Marriage - Part I
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:
"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules. Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be \bsexo?\b here at seven o'clock every night ....... whether you're here or not."
(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part I
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary! The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever " "Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part II
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" "Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?' His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(RIGHT ON, LADY!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V)
The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM ." He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is
5:00 AM . Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
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1 comment | |
| Your Bank Balance |
Mar 26, 2007 3:03 am
Mood: content, 1143 Views |  |
Imagine there is a bank that credits your account
each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance
from day to day. Every evening deletes whatever part
of the balance you failed to use during the day.
What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course!
Each of us has such a bank. Its name is TIME. Every
morning credits you with 86,400 seconds. Every
night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this
you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the remains of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits,
the loss is yours. There is no going back.
There is no drawing against the "tomorrow".
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health,
happiness, and success! The clock is running.
Make the most of today.
To realize the value of ONE YEAR,
ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH,
ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK,
ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR,
ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE,
ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND,
ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND,
ask the person who won a medal in the Olympics.
Treasure every moment that you have!
And treasure it more because you shared
it with someone special, special enough
to spend your time. And remember that
time waits for no one.
Treasure your friends.
Treasure your family.
Treasure God.
Treasure all the love in your life
every minute of every day.
This life will be over before you know it!
Live each day to it's fullest and don't worry what might happen tomorrow  |
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20 Comments | |
| Chinese Proverbs |
Mar 25, 2007 4:49 pm
Mood: cheerful, 1153 Views |
About Money
With Money you can buy a House but not a Home
With Money you can buy a Clock but not Time
With Money you can buy a Bed but not Sleep
With Money you can buy a Book but not Knowledge
With Money you can see a Doctor but not Health
With Money you can buy a Position but not Respect
With Money you can buy Blood but not Life
With Money you can buy $ex but not Love
You cannot buy Luck with Money,
you either have it or you don't
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12 Comments | |
| Hangover Ratings Guide |
Mar 24, 2007 9:26 pm
Mood: drunk, 1117 Views | One-Star Hangover: No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap which is giving you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 10 sodas and still feel this way. Even vegetarians are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries from any truck stop in the USA.
Two-Star Hangover: No pain. Something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the attention span and mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you chug to try and remain focused is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie tootie fresh and fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. Last night has wreaked havoc on your bowels and even though you have a nice demeanor about the office, you are costing your employer valuable money because all you really can handle is surfing the internet and writing junk e-mails.
Three-Star Hangover: Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely a space shot and not so productive. You have the attention span of a gnat. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd you at 3:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed with a dozen donuts and a meatball sub watching the E! fashion awards. You've had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 Snapples and a liter of Diet Coke - yet you haven't peed once.
Four-Star Hangover: Life sucks. Your head is throbbing and you can't speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can't hide the fact that you missed an oh-so crucial spot shaving, (girls, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars) your teeth have sweaters, your eyes look like one big vein and your hair style makes you look like a reject from the class picture of Revere High, '76. You would shoot your mother to have one or all of the following:
1. The clock to strike 6pm
2. The entire appetizer list from TGIFridays
3. A time machine so you could go back and NOT have gone out the night before.
Five-Star Hangover (a.k.a Dante's 4th Circle of Hell): You have a second heartbeat in your head (exacerbated by 6 bouts of the dry heaves) which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You'd cry but that would take the last of the moisture left in your body. Death seems pretty good right now. Your boss doesn't even get mad at you and your co-workers think that your dog just died because you look so pathetic. You should have called in sick because, let's face it, all you can manage to do is bitch about your state - which is a mystery to you because you definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank and why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed, unaccompanied, at your house. The only thing you can do is pass out. It's when you wake up a few hours later with a lesser star hangover that you eat a large pizza, an order of Kung Pao Chicken, a ham and cheese omelette and a batch of Rice Krispie Treats.
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4 Comments | |
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