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 | Sometimes I go whole days
listening bored, half sleep
I won't say anything
that's worth a thing to me
One day, suddenly, time
took a turn that once felt so brief
I blinked to see polite ghosts fading quickly
What begins as an unguarded
train of thoughts slowly can become
an addiction to the slumber
of disconnection and the resonance
of memory that no longer has a shape
but keeps you numb through
the hours till gone is another day
Be aware, my darling
these things I say I mean
are just traces of something
I long to feel again
I see our time expand
in the air almost forcibly,
spreading thinner till it dissolves completely
--Half Asleep, by School of Seven Bells
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For Enzo
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Aug 25, 2007 6:12 am
1772 Views
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It's been 10 years since my wonderful friend Enzo died.
I miss him so much.
My male best friend, the one I felt was my long lost twin, so alike were we in the way we thought and looked at the world.
I remember a conversation we had after a mutual friend told me Enzo was in love with me. He called me up, worried that I would take it against him, that it would spell the end of our friendship. Angry that a friend betrayed his confidence .
I said, no---how you feel about me is really none of my business, unless you cross the line and insist that I reciprocate.
He said drily, "How very mature that sounds, and us talking so nonchalantly about this---it's almost French."
We stayed friends, and he never did cross the line. I loved him like a brother, and he knew that, and respected that, and accepted that it was all he ever would be to me.
When he found out that I had met my hubby, whom he knew, he actually said, "He's a good man, not one of those male jerks---you could do much, much worse than him."
He was part of my wedding entourage. He recited the Second Reading beautifully.
After my wedding, we would sometimes meet for coffee, just to talk, catch up---me constantly giving him relationship advice whether he asked for it or not. Him constantly ragging me about being a hausfrau now, teasing that I probably wore aprons all day long, and that hubby probably bought me a french maid uniform. He constantly complained about the stress of working as a junior associate in a big law firm--and I nagged him about quitting and doing what he really wanted.
One day he said, "I think I will die young."
I said, "Don't you dare."
But he did. 27 years old, his heart just gave way--smoking when he had asthma, it was like he had a death wish.
The night he died I dreamt of him saying to me, "You know I'm dead now, and I'm going to be an archangel, just like Michael. Buy me a sword."
In that dream, I actually quipped, "A sword? What, you're Voltes V now?" (A robot in a popular Japanese anime series)
When I went to his house for the 9th day prayer vigil, I mentioned it in passing to his mother. He was an only son.
His mother said to me, "I haven't dreamt of him yet. Why haven't I dreamt of him? You're so lucky that he talked to you and told you what he wanted, so please do this for me---please do as he asked in your dream."
So I did. I bought him a sword and gave it to his mother. And I've never dreamt of him since.
I remember that right in the middle of his bed was this teddy bear I bought him one Christmas, because he asked me for one.
His mother said he never slept without it, never drove without it, always had it beside him while he was on his computer working.
And tonight, for some reason, I keep thinking of him, as if he was here with me, looking over my shoulder.
Rest in peace, my friend. Know that you will never be forgotten.
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41
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Depending on Beijing
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Aug 23, 2007 7:44 pm
1845 Views
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So there I was, happily munching on pretzels, reading a good book, when hubby walks in and says, "We might be going to Beijing this end of October."
And the first thing that went through my mind was, "I'd better pack some Depends."
Allow me to clarify that. I've been to China twice already, both trips with hubby, to take in the sights and sounds of a country shaking off the vestiges of the disaster that was the Cultural Revolution, hungering to be recognized as the next modern superpower. I find the country fascinating, linked as I was--being part Chinese--to its culture and history. The last trip we took was in 2004, to visit Shanghai and attend an Expo in connection with hubby's company.
Shanghai was a revelation, a teeming metropolis with lithe, fashionable women purposefully striding along busy streets in stilettos, or maneuvering bicycles through traffic, men who smoked incessantly, modern buildings, and road construction everywhere. As we strolled along the Bund with its skyscrapers, I marvelled at how far China has come, compared to the 70s, when my elder sisters told me of how they were practically ogled and followed around just for having miniskirts and nail polish on.
But not far enough, though, as public restrooms go.
Our entire tour group had to travel to Suzhou after Shanghai to check out a factory there, via a bus, which inched through tortuous traffic since the city at that time was in a frenzy of road construction. Halfway through the trip, which was taking 4 hours instead of the usual 2, the driver stopped at a service station so people could get up, stretch their legs, buy some snacks or relieve themselves. As I had to do the latter, I hurried out along with the rest of the passengers.
This must have been the only rest stop for miles around, because there were about 6 other buses parked alongside ours, and there was a throng of women outside the ladies' room. As the trip was going to be for another two hours, my tour mates and I had no choice but to line up along with everyone else.
Lining up---I use that phrase loosely. Imagine this, a slightly bigger than usual ladies' room, with about ten stalls on each side, dozens of women on the right side trying to shove their way in, dozens of women on the left doing the same, and about the same number stranded in the middle trying to shove their way out. As I slowly inched from my place, carried forward by the momentum of women behind me, I felt brisk taps on my shoulder. When I looked back, there she was, a little old grandmotherly sort panicking because the tip of the cigarette she was puffing on had singed my sweater. Appalled, I took it off, and made a huge show of checking it for damage (there wasn't any, thank goodness) while glaring at her as she stammered out apologies. Tired, irritated, badly needing to pee, I was in no mood to be gracious.
Finally I managed to find an empty stall after about 10 minutes of being shoved aside by other women who would just charge into one despite the fact that you were already standing next in line for it. Relieved at managing to snag this one, feeling victorious at the fact that I was able to scramble ahead of a loudmouthed harridan who kept yelling out to her companions to save their stall for her, I stumbled in and found...
...a hole on the floor.
Quandary---wait, do I face the wall, do I face the door, how the heck was I supposed to do this?? I usually steered clear of these sorts of toilets while in Shanghai, preferring the western style water closet, but this was my unavoidable moment of truth. I finally decided to face the door because it had no lock (surprise) and was grateful for that fact because, barely seconds after I gingerly squatted and started to do my business, someone at the other side tried to shove her way in. I braced my hands to stop the door from opening and yelled at her that there was someone inside. God knows what would have happened if I had faced the wall--the notion of the door hitting my bum and making me sprawl forward with my pants round my ankles was something too horrible to contemplate.
I finally managed to stagger outside, and hubby, who had finished way ahead of me (no such crowd in the men's room, amazing), wondered why I was looking so disheveled. I told him I never knew going to public restrooms in China qualified as contact sports. He actually found it very funny, the beast.
Hopefully, with the Olympics coming up, Beijing would have a lot of spanking new western style toilets put up, as has been reported in the news. But I'm not taking any chances.
I'm packing those Depends.
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44
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Friendfinder IS Educational!
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Aug 20, 2007 7:13 am
2038 Views
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Things I've learned after 5 years of being on friendfinder (talk about broadening my horizons):
1. It's actually a compliment when someone from Down Unda likens you to dried dung hanging from a sheep's bum. (Oi, ya dag!)
2. Loonies and toonies are actually Canadian forms of currency, and in no way reflects the state of mind of the denizens in that great land. (Well, truth to tell, I've gotten to know some pretty loony-in-a-good-way and really wonderful Canadians who've become good online friends of mine)
3. Spotted dick is NOT a form of venereal disease--it's actually a dessert.
4. They actually have mixed gender spas in Germany--and nothing untoward is ever allowed to happen. If someone starts perving, or doing something unacceptable, he/she is politely escorted out.
5. A schnoz is a konk is a nose by any other name.
6. I've learned more international cusswords than I've ever cared to count, so much so that I'm now a polyglot when I get ticked off.
7. A dingleberry is nowhere near edible---in fact, it's NOT something you'd want to be anywhere near to.
8. BOB is not just a nickname for Robert. It means something else altogether to a lot of women. 
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48
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Boob Tube Boo-Boos
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Aug 16, 2007 6:16 am
1593 Views
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Well, I do wish I was the one who thought of that title, but I only borrowed it from this local newspaper columnist who made it one of his column's regular features.
The funny thing about us Filipinos is that most of us have such a colonial mentality that a lot would insist on answering in English just to look "sosi", or classy, even if we could just as well say it in Tagalog, with oftentimes inadvertently hilarious results. And when these boo-boos are made right on national TV, it makes for very good entertainment:
Game Show Host: What does the chemical compound NaCl stand for?
Contestant: Ummmm...
Game Show Host: I'll give you a clue, it's also called sodium chloride.
Contestant: (Looking lost) Err....
Game Show Host: Missus, I'll give you another clue---it's what you put on your husband's eggs every morning.
Contestant: (Excitedly) BABY POWDER!!!!
(Wonder what she'd do if we ask her to scramble his eggs?)
Host: How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City, Philippines!
(Um, right)
Host: So tell us, why did you join this contest?
Contestant: Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
(Eh?)
Host: What is the essence of a man?
Gay Contestant: T*sticles!
(Didn't beat around the bush, did he?)
Host: This is not a boob. This is not a tube. But it's called a boob tube. What is it?
Contestant: BRA!!!!!
(The shape of those things if they can fit into a tube, yikes)
Host: How did they know that the old biblical document comes from as far as the first century?
Guest: They established it with cartoon dating.
(Calling Daffy Duck)
Host: What does your new beauty treatment do?
Guest: It feeds the skin and the hair with fresh harmones for youth and vibrancy!
(What in the world are “harmones”—hormones that harm?)
Host: How effective is this herbal treatment against inflammation?
Guest: Very effective. One time, my friend had swollen organ. After he took this herbal treatment, he lost his swollen organ!
(Houston, we have a problem)
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26
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Bluesax's Challenge---2 Truths and a Lie
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Aug 15, 2007 7:11 am
1500 Views
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Here goes---
1. I love durian.
2. I can wiggle my ears.
3. I once had full orders of sea bass, prime rib, rack of lamb, pasta, soup, salad, and four kinds of dessert in one sitting at an All-You-Can-Order promo at this posh dining place in a hotel.
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25
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Dang, I got tagged
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Aug 14, 2007 12:56 am
1478 Views
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Got this from Bluesax, so am sending on to...
sens_is_me
weelittlefox
intphil
Kohala Redbud
Levi42 (How could I forget The Knee High???)
TAG! You're it ...
** The directions are at the end **
Five things you may or may not know about me in no particular order:
1. I can eat corn on the cob VERY neatly, one row at a time
2. My shoe size is 5-1/2 to 6, or 36 euro
3. I used to be the vocalist in an all girls' band in college
4. I'm a wimp when it comes to suspense/horror movies
5. I met my hubby on a blind date
Four jobs I have had in my life:
1. Cashier for family business
2. Manager of family business
3. Court Attorney for the Philippine Supreme Court
4. Senior Law Partner
Five movies I've watched more than once:
1. Glory
2. Lord of the Rings, all 3 one after the other every time
3. The Princess Bride (as youuuuu wish)
4. The Full Monty
5. The Producers
Four places I have lived:
1. Mindanao, Philippines
2. Binondo, Manila
3. Caloocan City, Philippines
4. Quezon City, Philippines
Four T.V. Shows that I watch:
1. Doctor Who
2. Heroes
3. CSI Las Vegas
4. Anthony Bourdain No Reservations
Four places I have been:
1. Chicago, Florida and California, USA
2. Osaka, Wakayama and Tokyo, Japan
3. Zhu Hai, Shen Zhen, Shanghai, China
4. Singapore
Four of my favorite foods:
1. Lamb vindaloo
2. Laksa
3. Pasta Puttanesca
4. Prime Rib
Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Florida, to visit my siblings
2. Europe
3. Japan
4. But actually, am quite happy where I am right now
I am looking forward to
1. Re-learning Mandarin
2. Learning another foreign language
3. Putting both my children through college
4. Going on vacation.
DIRECTIONS: Now, here's what you're supposed to do... And please do not spoil the fun. Delete my answers and type in your answers. Post
on others blogs as 24Hrs TAG! .... send this to a Whole bunch of people you know or don't, INCLUDING the person who tagged you. The Theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you. Remember to Tag it back to the person who tagged you first, within 24Hrs.
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24
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Wacky Work Descriptions
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Aug 13, 2007 3:29 am
1421 Views
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Sitting in Starbucks one rainy mid-morning, contentedly whiling time away waiting for my sons' classes to be done, I came across a paragraph in Roy Porter's book, “The Greatest Benefit to Mankind”, that almost made me spew my latte.
Now, mind you, Porter's book qualifies as Quite A Serious Tome, in that it lays out the medical history of humanity, but what I read in there made me collapse in a fit of giggles. While tracing the origins of Egyptian medical practices, Porter wrote:
“As in Mesopotamia, the swnu formed one of three divisions of healers. The others were priests of Sekhmet, and sorcerers. Healers whose names have come down include Iri, Keeper of the Royal Rectum, presumably the pharaoh's enema expert.”
Keeper of the Royal Rectum---geez, talk about a crappy job.
Now, this got me thinking about whether the modern day workforce has the equivalent of strange sounding job titles. Ever the curious cat that I was, in pursuit of still more useless knowledge, I set my search engine to work. And lo and behold, the following nuggets unearthed--
Bed Rubber – operates machine which smoothes stone blocks (thought they rubbed creases out of beds)
Bit Shaver – smoothes mouthpieces of smoking pipes (why did I think of a Brazilian wax?)
Bucket Chucker – operates machine for smoothing inside surface of buckets (well, a bucket's quite handy for chucking)
Cake Stripper – operates a machine used in the cottonseed oil business (wow, it's NOT the gal who jumps out of cakes?)
Carroter – conditions fur for use in felt hat manufacture (Bugs Bunny might qualify for this)
Chick Sexer – inserts illuminating tool into baby birds to determine gender (don't want to know where they insert THAT illuminating tool)
Dolly Pusher – moves camera equipment around scene of TV recording / broadcast (suddenly I'm having a visual of people straining mightily to fit Dolly Parton into a tight corset)
Fur Blower – runs machinery for fumigating and cleaning furs (nope, it's not your epilator, eyz)
Lag Screwer – inserts bolts in table legs (um, copulating with lags now considered illegal in some states)
Mother Repairer – improves metal phonograph record matrices (sometimes I feel I need this)
Nut Steamer – immerses almonds, pecans, etc. in hot water to soften shells (I think the men suddenly crossed their legs when they read this part)
Sulky Driver – takes charge of two-wheel, horse-drawn carriages in races (this is me at 6 AM driving kids to school)
Top Waddy – organises groups of cowpunchers on a range, also known as Top Screw (no comment)
Wax-Ball Knock-Out Worker – removes wax forms from insides of new basketballs (wonder if they knock themselves out?)
Whizzer – operates felt-hat drying machinery (a-tinkling they will go...)
Wrinkle Chaser – uses various tools to remove defects from new shoes (God knows, I need THIS)
Yeast Pusher - transfers yeast from fermenting cellar to storage tanks (also a bloke who stands in darkened street corners going, “Pssst, bud, wanna score some candidiasis, A-grade?”)
And here I thought the Piss Boy in Mel Brooks' History of the World had it bad.
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23
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Fake Blog Challenge
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Aug 9, 2007 6:59 pm
1549 Views
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I read a recent news article about Dan Lyons being outed as Fake Steve, who is described as "a sharp-tongued blogger who had tech aficionados in stitches with a satiric diary purporting to be from Apple CEO Steve Jobs". I checked out this blog, and despite obscure (to me) tech references, I was able to follow enough to crack me up--he refers to Bill Gates there as "Beastmaster".
So now I'm thinking, if I was to fake blog someone famous, or infamous, who would it be?
Imelda Marcos.
"Diary Entry, Day 1--Today I decided to count all the shoes I still have left in my closet since those stinky hoi polloi shoo'ed us out of my palace. I've been diminished in stature, but I do believe in my heart that the unwashed masses still adore me, despite my horrid critics calling me delusional--all I need to do is sing. It's always worked before, and I bet I'd be crowned Karaoke Queen in no time, just like Princess Di became the People's Princess. I still have very loyal followers who sneak Manolo Blahniks and Jimmy Choos in for me through customs, so now my shoe inventory level has gone beyond what I used to have, ha! Now, on to the most important part of the day---counting my shoes, oh joy---1 pair...2 pairs...3 pairs...
Diary Entry, Day 2 -- 125 pairs...126 pairs...127 pairs....
Diary Entry, Day 3 -- 375 pairs...376 pairs...377 pairs....
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Diary Entry, Day 14 -- 2,281 pairs...2,282 pairs...2,283 pairs..."
If you could fake blog someone, who would it be?
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33
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To link to this blog (MunchkinMatron2) use [blog MunchkinMatron2] in your messages.
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