| Looking into me |
Aug 22, 2007 11:50 am
Mood: content, 864 Views | I've been thinking 2nite of how I am perceived
how I perceive myself, and how it's affecting me in all sorts of ways. My conclusion is this. I will no longer shame myself for who I am. I will no longer let other's hurtfull words affect me 2 the point where they change the way I see myself. If others can be proud of their ethnicity, so can I! I see it all the time. My American friends are so proud 2 be American, it's not even funny, and they should be! But since 9/11, I felt I was plagued. I felt embarrassed to be Arab, around others who are not. I felt ashamed 2 tell any1 who can't see me. I wanted 2 make someone up. I wanted 2 live as some1 else, if only for a moment. I would often ask myself, how am I gonna cope, once I enter the western world? Will I walk with my face down in shame? Will I turn my head when I speak, so they cannot see the hurt in me? So they cannot see who I am? For if they can't see me, they can't judge me. I used 2 ask myself why did I have 2 be born where I am. Why can't someone else take this place? And why is my motherland deteriorating right before my eyes...faster than I can do anything about it.Yes. There was a time, where I was actually ashamed to be Arab. I often talk about how people see me as an Iraqi, not as an individual. Truth is, it upset me because, this is how I saw myself 4 so long, a little soul searching does a lot, and I can finally look inside myself and feel content. I can have a lil pride of my own. I'm ok with who I am, and I'm not putting my face down in shame from this day forth. As for those who judge, criticize, assume, and speak ill of me, ya, I'm Iraqi and damn proud of it and I don't want it any other way! | |
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1 comment | |
| awwwwww? u mean I can't flirt with the American girls now? damn! |
Aug 21, 2007 9:42 am
Mood: loved, 907 Views | | Hahahaha ya. It's come 2 that time now where my baby and me have decided we want this. 2 keep each other. No fiddling around. None of it. Can't wait 2 get there....hehehehe...Lol she's still convincing me 2 have the traditional wedding march, which I can't stand! Blech! I want a new 1. But awwwww? If I'm committed 2 my baby, that means I can't flirt with the American girls or try 2 pick them up? But...but...that's every Arab's dream! lol kidding...I'm not so sure of that anyway. Na. I love my baby and I'm not changing my mind. I need 2 do this. I want 2. 4 once in my life, I feel loved and appreciated. I need her... | |
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1 comment | |
| Iraqi phones, comps, tvs, cable, internet, and software..... |
Aug 18, 2007 6:52 pm
Mood: mixed emotions..., 906 Views | | They all have 1 tiny thing in common. They malfunction...a lot...Lol make that daily! Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Must...suppress...Iraqi temper....can...be...lethal...lol! Ok ok so now I gots to make me line stay on 4 more than 10 mins at a time. Hehehhehehehehehehehehehehahahahahaha besides I'm in a happy hyper jumpy mood. Hehehehe. 2day, my baby told me she wanted 2 kiss me on the face . Made me all warm and fuzzy awwwwwws. I miss my baby. Miss my baby so much! Gawd! | |
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| it's an Iraqi thing... |
Aug 15, 2007 5:58 pm
Mood: frustrated, 1032 Views | If only we could make better comps over here...
Mine froze 2day already twice, the mouse stopped working, and the power wouldn't let it go off! So I got all mad, and picked up the keyboard, put it down really hard, then I proceeded 2 hit the mouse against the comp desk, insult the tower, until I ran out of things 2 say 2 it, then I told my baby. Hahahahaha she says it's the Iraqi temper in me comin out, but I guarentee ya, if it was her dealing with it, she would have had a fit 2...By the way, she's Canadian...An Iraqi thing? Hmmm. What do u think? | |
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3 Comments | |
| has any1 ever felt this way |
Aug 13, 2007 9:30 pm
Mood: speechless, 1014 Views | | I've tried so long, thought so hard, about the words I could use 2 describe how much I love her. But I have come 2 the conclusion that there are no words. 2 tell her I love her just isn't enough. Lol any good writers on here? Any really soft sweet words u can send my way? I'm beyond words... | |
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2 Comments | |
| um, America... |
Aug 12, 2007 10:46 pm
Mood: giddy, 927 Views | | Red, white and blue look fine on the American flag, they don't look 2 good on me! Lol 1 of my few American friends said she was gonna beat me red white and blue...Uh don't ask. Lol I said something, she got all flustered and embarrassed hahahahahaha so I threatened 2 say it again, just 4 cheap thrill sake. Ah what would I do without my American friends...Don't answer that... O well. I'd probably run around the home a few times, screaming at the top of my lungs, bounce around like a baby, open and close the windows, just 2 make a tiny breeze, phone numbers I've never phoned b4, read something, write funny passages, blog, blog some more, blog a lil more after that...Nah. I think I'll stick with my American friends....hahaha ok Kassam...ok...u can stop laughing now u silly Arab. Crazy Iraqi! Ok ok get off the floor...yes off...all the way off...stand up Kass.....stand up...that's it...a little more.....hahaha | |
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| aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that hurts like a b$$$$$%%%%%! |
Aug 5, 2007 10:52 am
Mood: sore, 1000 Views | | It's not very often that there's pointy things around my home, but 2nite I found 1. Well my foot did, it kills! Stepping on things with points. Still don't know what it was, cuz I can't find it. But it....it's defending itself somehow! | |
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3 Comments | |
| Kassam Hussain? |
Aug 3, 2007 10:52 am
928 Views | | Hehehe my gf has been writing 2 some1 called Hussain...thich brings me 2 a scary conclusion. If she mistakenly called me by the wrong name, or if he and I were related, that would make me Kassam Hussain! I got enough worries thanks.....hehehe. | |
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3 Comments | |
| reflecting on a clear beautiful day |
Aug 1, 2007 10:29 pm
Mood: appreciative, 926 Views | | And a mighty beautiful night 2. I went 2 sleep just after I gazed out the window 4 what seemed like millenia. Is it that I've never seen Iraq this way b4, or did I just not pay attention. There is little beauty in my motherland 2 appreciate, but 2nite, I saw it. The night was clear, had the breeze directly in my face coming in here as I looked out at the night view. I thought 2 myself as silly as this may sound, and some may even think I'm halucinating, but last night, 4 the first time in a long time, Iraq was beautiful! Wow! 2day it's the same thing. That clarity remains. 4 once, I'm not seeing all the violence and bloodshed. I'm looking past that, right through it, so I can appreciate the beauty of the day. I think one's motherland can be beautiful if one sees it through beautiful eyes, as I did last night, and 2day. Makes me thankful 4 what I do have, and not wish so much 4 what I don't. Good day 2 all at ff! | |
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1 comment | |
| hello America! |
Jul 31, 2007 12:17 pm
Mood: jumpy!, 890 Views | Hehehehe I was online doin somethin on this website that says it's only available 2 US residents, but it said hello America on the front page and I just thought awwwwwww! If only we could always talk 2 each other that way. I thought this cuz I said it out loud hehe. I said hello America, how r u 2day! Hehe I'm in 1 of those jumpy moods. Hehehe I'm notorious 4 them! See ya!
Bye America!
lol! | |
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1 comment | |
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