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Ari-Wood
  

Welcome to Ari-Wood. Step right up and see the sights. To your left, you will see the delicate fragility of fairy land. On the right, watch out for the fiery dragons. For your safety, we recommend you stay on the path and don't stray into the netherworlds of risk and chance. Alternatively, perhaps you like the benefits that go along with taking that chance..........

All rights to the poetry and stories in Ari-Wood
belong exclusively to the author.
That which is not mine,
That which is not good,
That which is not altruistic....
Is requested to leave.

******


The stories and poems encased in this crystal blog are written from my own imagination and in no way are intended to be viewed as written to any specific person unless I specifically state that it is.


My heart is a book which you leaf through as simply as the pages of this blog..
Antiqued an worn
The words bleed
From a hidden place
Deep within my chapters
Where only one can see
And whispering spirits tarry

Frayed are my edges
Yet my gliding
Remains beautiful
Not a mere ornament
But a testament to the tooling
Which has geared my life

Sown tightly is my binding
I have weathered the years
I shine with wisdom an character
Like no other book
Yet my cover bares the marks
Of ordinary use

Turn my pages lightly
And you shall read
My hued memories
Of dreams and dreaminess
Of times and timelessness
Of lives and liveliness

Upon my inner pages
Are scribbled
Achromatic dreams
My love
My hopes
My life
You are such a treasured book
All my love, Sister of my heart
(Written by a special sister of my heart...MsAlchemy2...a special gift...I wanted to share.)
Title View |
Gaining Entry Feb 9, 2008 1:24 pm
411 Views
And in the brashness of her tone many lost the import of the words she shared. The message was no less vital, the meaning no less clear; but the messenger was rendered ineffective by people’s perception of her. She did not appear well educated, nor did she make any effort to alter the floozy-like appearance. The point made should be able to support itself upon its own weight; and yet it could not for perception is truth.

She felt no shame in her appearance; her slim body had always drawn admiration, her large chest had gained attention. It allowed her to enter into circles which might have been closed to her had she not played upon her assets. The low cut blouse revealed a cleavage that other women would have killed for; the short skirt showed off well muscled legs that most men imagined wrapped around their waists. She was neither proud nor arrogant; rather she had learned to put herself on display in order to gain any trace of advantage. She felt she had so few. As the years progressed, however, she began to understand that her appearance would not be sufficient to continue granting her the access she needed. Neither would utilizing her appearance gain her the respectability that came from well chosen arguments, logical debate. In fact, she began to find that her appearance could be a liability to her.

It is a near impossibility for a man to pay attention to the words a woman speaks when he is engrossed upon imagining himself buried deep inside her. Although his eyes may be upon her, his mind is visualizing the reaction on her face as he takes her, his ears are hearing her cries of passion, his thoughts are so distracted that he cannot focus on anything she says. She had begun to recognize the glazed look that entered men’s eyes as they were drawn directly to her breasts, to the hem of the skirt that barely covered her slim hips. She had begun to resent that men looked upon her as a doll, a toy to be played with and then set aside when more important matters were to be discussed. She had a mind; a quite brilliant mind that could be employed to advantage if they would only stop to listen.

And so she had learned to use the tools that gained her access to the venues she needed to be heard in; now she must learn to set aside those tools and utilize the tools that would help her to convey the message.
2 Comments
A New Beginning Feb 8, 2008 9:36 pm
449 Views
Nothing in life ever ends. Endings are as much a new beginning as the ending of what has gone before. Friendships do not end, they merely shift to a different level. They can be allowed to slip away into the dimly remembered mists of the past or they can be allowed to thrive and grow into something rich and beautiful.

May all your friendships grow into the most beautiful plants. May you water them frequently with shared tears, feed them with the laughter you enjoy together, and grow them in love.

May the gift of joy in your lover's eyes be the first sight to greet you each day....may the look of passion on their face be your last view as you drift away. May each day be filled with that which is new and exciting...and may each year drive roots deeper into a foundation of love and giving.

I wish you all that you could ever wish yourself...and I wish you more.

I love you.
2 Comments
They Closed the Town Down Feb 7, 2008 9:40 pm
660 Views
My nephew is here tonight. We had so much snow today that the road to his house is closed and he needs a place to stay. I'm loving listening to him and Tiana visit on the phone. It's been a couple of years since they've seen each other.

Tia is feeling great. I'm so pleased. I couldn't go to Denver to spend time with her...and she couldn't come here because the trip would be too hard on her, so instead I offered to give her the money I'd have spent bringing her home. It gives her the time to take off work without worrying about her income so much. She has no sick pay...and won't get vacation pay there until August...so she's a bit worried about staying off work a couple of weeks.

I had her order a couple weeks groceries on line tonight and I paid for them. It's pretty nice doing the big city thing. They will deliver her groceries right to her house and she will only need to put them in the cupboards. I like that answer for her. Hopefully everything else will be fine...but it seems like that's what families are for...to be there when someone needs a hand.

Work has been long and stressful this week. I've learned so much and I've loved the experience. I really love getting to work with Mr. Brilliant at the Kennewick plant. He has taught me so much this week. But...sometimes I feel like a chicken with my head cut off....so much to do...so little time.

My boss is pleased with my work on the Ohio facility...and says I clearly have a good understanding of what I'm learning. Makes me feel good, don't you know. It's always nice to hear a compliment from your boss.

My house is a disaster area again and it's starting to annoy me completely. I think that there's a rather major discussion coming...and perhaps some rather major changes. Life is too short to be unhappy. If I'm going to be unhappy...I'd rather do it alone, thanks very much.

The roads are very ugly tonight. The entire area was shut down, traffic wise....all the highways closed, a couple of major accidents on the highway out of town...just a hell of an ugly day, weather wise. The snow outside my office is climbing my window. It's pretty cool...and I love it...but it's beginning to be enough snow. When the plowed piles are twice my height...I'm thinking we're ready to give it a break.

I have to giggle at the dog. He thinks my nephew is his personal person. Of course, that's because my nephew gets down on the floor with a stick in his mouth and REALLLY plays tug-of-war with him. He calls my cat "you flat-faced b*astard". I think my cat's going to get a complex. He must feel very abused and neglected. Not really...I still pay a ton of attention to him. Can you give a cat a complex?

Anywayas...I'm way tired tonight and getting ready to head for bed. Just wanted to check in and see how y'alls are doing.

So how are you doing? Did ya have a great week? What's new in the world?

Hope y'all have a simply marvelous weekend.

Love and hugs,

Ari
12 Comments
Offering Feb 7, 2008 7:11 pm
606 Views
Your words travel through me
Like a lightning strike
Demanding, primal
What you want of me
I have only dreamed
Totally, reciprocal
What you dream for me
I have always needed
Passionate, sensual
What you offer me
I have remembered
History, pathways
What you are to me
I can only whisper
Eternity, lover.
8 Comments
Wishing Feb 6, 2008 10:57 pm
759 Views
Wishing you all a warm bed...a loving hug...and the tiniest brush of air across your cheek....as if a tiny fairy had just hovered long enough to whisper her love into your ear.

Wishing I could hear the whisper in the air....from your heart to mine...from my soul to yours.

Good night.
6 Comments
Take Me As I Am Feb 6, 2008 10:53 pm
792 Views
Truth comes in many shapes and sizes. It is always subject to our perception. Your truth does not have to be my truth for we see any situation from a very different place.

Please remember that each one of us enters another person's life for a reason...but it may not be for the same reason. Please understand that people cannot be pushed into offering what you would have them offer to you; only time and the reasoning in their heart can bring them to that place.

Many of us enter this place because we have been wounded in the past. Some of us have been so badly damaged that we walk with the most extreme caution into the future. We take our time to decide which hearts will touch us the deepest. Some of us decide upon meeting that another person fits us as if they were made to be beside us. Choices are not often so easy.

Each of us is unique in almost every way. We each have our own tempers, our own humor, our own thought processes, our own philosophy. It would be a totally unhealthy and boring life if we were all in agreement at all times. Along with the rest, each of us have our own quirks and foibles.

When we find the person we feel we belong with, when we decide to share our hearts and soul with another person, the only real rule we should observe is that we take that person exactly as we find them. Perhaps they have a serious illness, or they have a bizarre sense of humor, or they do something so far outside our scope of understanding that we can only step back and say, "Why?" Yet, if we truly love them...we accept them as we find them...for that is the person we fell in love with.

How often have you seen a couple fall in love, get married...and decide that they can't stand certain habits of the other? Are those habits new? No...they were a part of that person when you met them. Did you love them in spite of that strange habit? Presumably, if you are still together. So why do you now want to change that person who was so perfect for you? Because you really couldn't live with the habit to begin with and you believed they would change for you.

People don't ever change for YOU. They change for themselves...because they have decided that the time is right to make that change. Perhaps you inspired them to make that change...but they did not do it for you...and won't. So...if you enter a relationship wanting to change another person...you are cheating both of you.

I'm not going there. I'm not going to put myself in a place to hurt someone else that way. I'm not going to put myself at risk for being hurt. So, when I choose a new relationship, it will be based on the idea that I am totally attracted to a man...intellectually, physically, emotionally....all of it.

He doesn't have to be handsome...I could care less...but he has to turn me on...and that can be as simple as a touch or a word. He doesn't have to be brilliant...but he has to make me think. He doesn't have to be a prankster...but he has to enjoy laughing with me. He doesn't have to share every feeling with me...but he has to be willing to talk through our problems with me...to work on them...to explain how he feels when something bothers him.

Those are absolute unbreakable requirements for me. The rest...heck...who cares? You want to watch football? Cool...I'll sit beside you and read a book or you can teach me to enjoy it. You hate to make coffee? Cool...I'll make the coffee...you put the toilet paper on the roll...whatever. Those things are so....minute in the overall scheme of things.

Yes, they annoy us...but they are actions and actions can be changed. Personalities cannot. I'd rather deal with the personality up front and be sure we are compatible.

I'm tempermental. I'm extremely sensitive. I have a very hot temper when my buttons are pushed. I tease...a lot. I am very playful. I am very intelligent...and I don't hide that for anyone's comfort level. I am driven to be all that I can be...and very passionate about it...and life. I'm not changing those things about me...and I don't want anyone changing for me. Meet me halfway...and let me meet you halfway....or walk away.

Nothing and no one is ever going to own me again. Don't make me feel owned....ever. It's the quickest way to make me walk away. Understand that I am always going to have men AND women I feel very close to without having a sexual relationship with them. If that threatens you...I am the wrong woman. If you can live with all that...you may be the right man...but I still have to see where my heart takes me. And right now...I'm just considering dipping my toe in that current.....
20 Comments
A Deep Sigh of Relief Feb 5, 2008 10:07 pm
857 Views
There are so many things in life I am grateful for. I am grateful for my health, my home, my family, the beliefs that guide me through each step of my path...and I am so very grateful for each one of you.

Life is too short to spend it quarreling, hurting, or angry. What we gain from life is what we give into it. If, by giving any instant of love, I have somehow earned even a tiny bit of what has been given to me, I have done something amazing in my own eyes.

I have often said that I am the most fortunate of women. I am. I have so much love wrapped around me....feeding my strength when my own is weak.

This was a difficult night for me. I was speaking with Kelly when I got the call that my daughter was in the hospital...and Kelly stayed on the phone with me for a very long time as I faced the time she went into surgery...and the knowledge that I could not do what all mothers most need to do....protect our children from anything that harms us.

Kelly...what I told you tonight...is so true. As a friend, you are a gift beyond measure. As a sister, you are a treasure. I am so fortunate that I met you...and so grateful for the friendship we have built between us. Thank you for your caring...for your love...for the strength you share. Your shoulders are strong...and I love that they are available.

Tiana's surgery went well...and was perhaps a blessing. Her appendix was fine...although she no longer has one...but they did find that a cyst on her ovary had ruptured. The fluids filling her pelvic area were apparently from the cyst....and from the internal bleeding.

According to my son-in-law....her pain was caused by the damage done when the cyst ruptured and she had been bleeding internally for some time. He tells me that they did manage to save the ovary...although there was some concern that they would not be able to do so. I am most grateful that the doctors urged Tia to have the surgery....and I am very grateful for the excellent care she received.

I will speak to Tia myself tomorrow, I'm sure. I'm going to try to talk her into coming here for the next week as she heals from the surgery. Somehow, I have a tremendous need to be with her for a time.

My daughter is the brightest star in my life. Most of you know that I had a number of miscarriages prior to having Tiana...and she was the prize at the end of the darkness. I have one child....and one I fought like hell to carry to term...and she is the light of my entire world.

Each positive thought, each very caring prayer...was a gift beyond words to me tonight. I know that sometimes our gifts come in the most unusual of places. I can't begin to explain what it means to me to have found this place...where there are so many beautiful...giving...generous...loving people. And I am so honored to have been touched by each and every one of you. Thank you....always...from the very bottom of my heart...I appreciate each one of you.

Tiana...although I will tell you most of this in person tomorrow....I need you to always know...to always see...that you are the love that makes my life possible. I am not and have not been the best possible mother....but every moment of your life...I have watched over you...prayed for you...dreamt of your successes and your future...guarded you from everything that I could. You are the glue that holds my world together....and I love you...always...more than I can ever tell you.

For everyone else....this happened so quickly and I had to step back and think about the possibilities. It was possible that she could respond poorly to anaesthetic...it was possible that there could be surgical complications. Anything is possible...however unlikely. I am grateful that I got the opportunity to talk to my daughter briefly before her surgery; but it could easily have happened that I did not...and if something terrible had happened...I would never have been able to tell her how I feel about her.

Think about that...please. Life is short. Each breath we take is a gift. Remember always to tell those who matter to you....that you love them. Tell them now...don't wait. Remember always to do what you can to walk in peace....never regret that a last word was spoken in anger. Live as you wish to live....love all that you can...and share and show that love....so that never will you wish...you could have told them.

Thank you all....thank you so much for caring.
20 Comments
Please Send Positive Thoughts Feb 5, 2008 6:57 pm
997 Views
My daughter is having surgery as we speak. Apparently, she has been in a great deal of pain for two days. Her husband took her to the emergency room at St. Anthony's Hospital in Denver where they are trying to determine what is wrong with her. At the moment, they are focusing on her appendix and ovarian cysts.

They have done a CAT Scan and an ultrasound, but she has been told there is too much fluid in her abdomen/pelvic area for them to be able to see either her ovary or her appendix. They do say her white blood count is high enough to be of concern, which indicates an infection somewhere. So, they are performing an exploratory surgery to determine if her appendix is inflamed....and her appendix will be removed regardless...and if her appendix is fine, to determine what exactly is wrong.

It's breaking my heart that she is undergoing this surgery and I can't be there. I want to hold her hand; I want to wrap her in my arms and hold her nestled against my chest so nothing can ever harm her. I am just terrified that something could go wrong and I haven't been able to do more than have a brief conversation with her. I got to tell her that I love her....I hope it's enough.

So...please...pray for everything to go well; for her to be strong and well after this; for them to determine what the cause of her pain is....and to treat it well. Please, in your mind wrap her in white or soft blue light....and hold her close in your thoughts...just for this one night. Please send all the positive thoughts and love you can spare to her....that all will be well for her tonight,

For you, baby....I love you with all my heart...and I believe they will find what is wrong and fix it. I believe you will be well when this is done. I believe your life is just beginning...and I will watch you grow and bloom into the beautiful flower you are. I love you, Tiana....be well, be loved, be wrapped in Lord and Lady's grace.
12 Comments
...Perchance to Dream..... Feb 4, 2008 9:49 pm
805 Views
Slip quietly through the darkness skirting all the animals and cages. I think sometimes that I have too many animals. If I even bump Elsie's cage, she will be on the floor hissing at my feet. Her strong beak can do a tremendous amount of damage when she's scared. I keep a nightlight in the hallway...a cute teddy bear holding a balloon. I can't bear to be in totally dark places. It's one of the few things that totally terrify me...particularly if it is a place I haven't been before...or am not accustomed to.

I move very quietly as I enter the bedroom. I don't really want to startle the dog. Like so many small dogs, he thinks he is tough and his duty in life is to guard his home. I hate it when I wake him up and he starts barking. I can feel the cat running along beside me, his tail brushing against my legs. He knows when I am heading to bed and that is his signal to fly into the bedroom and get to my pillow before I do. Not as if it's an issue....I share the pillow with him.

I remove all the extra pillows and arrange the ones I've left on the bed. Two huge pillows I love to have tucked under my knees. My legs seem to rest more peacefully this way. One long pillow to share with the cat...very low density so my neck isn't craned up...one memory foam pillow for me...to keep my neck angled properly. I have a ruptured disk in my neck from a car accident years ago. I refuse to have the surgery, so I do what I can to keep it from hurting.

Slip into the bed and pull the covers over me. My sheets are wonderfully warm, almost thermal; the blanket soft and fuzzy white; the comforter a deep down that wraps me like a cloud. The cat has to move out of my place so that I can lay down, but he is quick to curl up in the curve of my neck. It is his favorite place to sleep.

I lay on my back. It's how I am most comfortable these days. It seems that the more I try to lay on my side, the more my neck gets out of alignment. Many thoughts race through my mind. What do I want most right now? Where am I going? Am I handling this situation or that in the right way? Slowly I think through what I want to address...and let my mind begin to wander...until I have drifted away into sleep...peacefully.

But in the darkness of my sleep, a light glows softly. As I move deeper into the depths of slumber, the light increases until it surrounds me with it's delicate blue glow. I am silent, aware, resting. I know I am sleeping; I am not certain what the light means, but I am focusing on it more closely.

It does not move nor increase for a time and my mind slowly begins to lose interest and slide away from the sensation of the soothing warmth it brings to me. Although I know I am alone, I feel as if I am being held; protected; wrapped in love.
It is a beautiful feeling and I can feel myself twist in the bed to curl closer against it. I am on my side now, wrapped tightly in the emotional succor that holds me.

I hear a soft whimper in the back of my throat. It is a sound I make when I am disturbed in my sleep...or when I am...feeling most comfortable. It sounds rather like part of a soft cry from my cat. I have heard that sound come from me before, but never really analyzed it before. I wonder what makes me...need to express anything?

As my mind sinks deeper into the vacancy of slumber, I am aware that hands are softly stroking my hair. Many years ago, I often wished my mother would hold me when life hurt...and stroke my hair in just such a way. It was...and is...not her way to be demonstrative with anyone; she would never have been comfortable expressing this kind of affection. Still, the sensation is that of a loving parent comforting a frightened or hurting child. I wonder if I have an inner need to be comforted.

For the most part, life is good and I have no complaints. Yes, I would like to change a few pieces of my life, but that will come in time. When the time is right, the things I need will come to me.

"What would you have change, child?"

"I would change nothing. I am content."

"This is untrue. There is much you are not content with."

"Perhaps, but it serves no purpose to complain of something I choose not to address in some manner."

"Why do you choose not to address these things?"

"Perhaps in some way they intimidate me."

"Intimidate you? You have the strength of lions. What could intimidate you?"

"A task that seems daunting...that I fear I could fail at. A person who threatens...or holds the threat of harm over one's head. People who do not allow you to breath for yourself. People who make me feel obligated. The fear of hurting anyone...no matter how carefully I try not to...and the fear of trapping myself by not hurting another."

"Honesty is not a weakness of yours."

"And yet, sometimes it is. Sometimes I am too honest and I place myself in harm's way by opening up too deeply."

"If we do not open up deeply, we cannot feel the gentle touch of another's heart. Those touches are the lights that brighten your path. Without them, you would progress no further."

"And perhaps that is a part of my fear. That I will cause the darkness to descend on my world once again and be bereft of the light that has so fully illumined the path."

"Inaction can be the swiftest cause of unhappiness. By failing to act upon the issues that cause you distress, you allow them to continue."

"But, if I know that handling them in a way that is...beneficial to me...will hurt another....am I not then causing their pain...and creating a debt for my soul?"

"Think you that everything is a debt for your soul?"

"Is it not?"

"In many ways it is. But little one, none can live without incurring debts of the soul...just as none can live without repaying debts of the soul. Even those who turn fully to evil will repay certain debts of their souls in a lifetime. Even those who are purest will incur debts of their soul in a lifetime. Think you that you should be different?"

"Not different, Lady; but I believe I should try to never incur those debts. Bringing harm to another is the greatest sin against all."

"Truth, and yet each will bring harm at some time. Is it a greater harm to cause a harm that will be mitigated in a swift amount of time, or to cause harm that will not be soothed for a very long time?"

"One would assume that causing a harm that lingers is the greater damage."

"Indeed. And yet, in your weakness, in your fear, you would prolong a situation until the pain is more lasting. How is it that, in the name of harming none...you would harm so deeply?"

The tears fall as I think of what is being said within my heart. I would not harm any intentionally. Yet, am I doing so by attempting to handle life's issues in the gentlest possible manner? Is it truly more kind to cut with surgical precision, even at the risk that you cause another to feel pain? Is it true that one needs to face a situation swiftly in order to cause less pain? I cannot bear to think of saying the words to hurt someone else.

"To choose inaction...is to choose an action. If you would...find peace within yourself...you must choose the actions that bring swift, decisive, accurate resolution. Do not allow inertia or fear to dampen the need for action. You, my child, are the only one who can choose which branch of the path you will take."

I did not truly awaken...and yet..my mind danced restlessly over the truths I had heard. And when the morning came...still...I was undecided.
3 Comments
Foot massage? Feb 4, 2008 7:24 pm
1014 Views
Such a hectic day today. So many things to learn in just a few short hours. I was a bit overwhelmed...and not overwhelmed...I know that makes no sense...but the sense of rushing sometimes makes me feel careless even as I'm enjoying learning what I'm doing. But when we're working so fast...it's easy to forget to mention the small details that make the transaction successful. Ah well...next month will go much more smoothly, but now I will be working some very long hours at month end....which is fine...it makes me feel....as if I'm helping out.

Got home and did my treadmill workout. If I put my feet in your lap, will you give them a nice long massage? I have some really good cream for them....and I need it really bad.

My nephew started working at the plant today. He's in 7 days of safety training, so he's in the front office for the next 6 days. Means I get big hugs every day....at least three or four a day...and at least one really big one that pops my back...and feels like Haven. He's a very big boy....as tall as my brother. Heck, he looks so much like my brother at his age...you can tell we're related. We got harassed a lot today for being my relative...a lot of teasing about how hard it was for them to take on another one of us....lol...good thing we didn't tell them he's the one person in the family most like me....they'd have run screaming into the snow.

I got off just around 5 tonight and the sun was still shining...actually quite brightly. I haven't seen the sun in a long time so it was a really good feeling to feel it's gentle warmth beating down on my head. I'm not ready for Spring...it just means everything will be getting HOT and I will whine. Let's keep the snow a bit longer...although...I'd like to not wake up to two or three new inches minimum each morning...lol...makes driving hell.

From the way the night has worked out so far...I'm about ready to head back to work to get away from the stress. Stress kills. Stress is very bad on diabetes. Leave me the heck alone. lol....ok...I'll be good.

Oh heck...I forgot to return my library books again. I'm going to owe them like $20...I finished reading the books weeks ago...but I never think about going to the library when I get free...I have plenty of other stuff to do. Dang. Write a note across my forehead so I will see it in the morning.

So...a great Monday...and I really enjoyed the day. How was yours? What's new in your world? What's coming up for you? Come on...share...tell me what's happening in your life......
17 Comments
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