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Ari-Wood
  
Welcome to Ari-Wood. Step right up and see the sights. To your left, you will see the delicate fragility of fairy land. On the right, watch out for the fiery dragons. For your safety, we recommend you stay on the path and don't stray into the netherworlds of risk and chance. Alternatively, perhaps you like the benefits that go along with taking that chance..........

All rights to the poetry and stories in Ari-Wood
belong exclusively to the author.

That which is not mine,
That which is not good,
That which is not altruistic....
Is requested to leave.

The stories and poems encased in this crystal blog are written from my own imagination and in no way are intended to be viewed as written to any specific person unless I specifically state that it is.

My heart is a book which you leaf through as simply as the pages of this blog..

Antiqued an worn
The words bleed
From a hidden place
Deep within my chapters
Where only one can see
And whispering spirits tarry

Frayed are my edges
Yet my gliding
Remains beautiful
Not a mere ornament
But a testament to the tooling
Which has geared my life

Sown tightly is my binding
I have weathered the years
I shine with wisdom an character
Like no other book
Yet my cover bares the marks
Of ordinary use

Turn my pages lightly
And you shall read
My hued memories
Of dreams and dreaminess
Of times and timelessness
Of lives and liveliness

Upon my inner pages
Are scribbled
Achromatic dreams
My love
My hopes
My life

You are such a treasured book
All my love, Sister of my heart
(Written by a special sister of my heart...MsAlchemy2...a special gift...I wanted to share.)
Title View |
The Things We Do For Love..... Mar 9, 2008 3:46 pm
1101 Views
I was talking to a friend today...let me tell you who it was...since she led me so far astray...Thanks...Flo....

We were trying to please another friend...by finding him....a..."rooster"...if that's what you want to call it. It's amazing what comes up when you search for "rooster" on the net.

First...we did manage to find him a few BEAUTIFUL babies...he could love. We will be sharing them one at a time...as he earns them....contact me for information on how you can earn your "rooster".

Along with the roosters...we learned about a new web site. Did you know...that if you click on rooster sites long enough...you get a site called porn tube? I'm telling you it's true. You can find all the "roosters" you ever wanted there. And to be honest...they really like visitors...so much that they won't let you leave...unless you watch a full video. I know this because I spent an hour clicking on go back...please...go back...please....close this site...I have my eyes closed...don't make me look.

After an hour...the site gave up. By then....I'd seen so many "roosters"..I have no doubt in my mind exactly what they look like. And I hope...to never see another...at least online....

So Smeagoll...I found your "rooster"....why would you put it on a web site like that?
16 Comments
For Smeagoll Mar 9, 2008 3:26 pm
1077 Views
Dear Smeagoll.....

We wanted to ensure you were happy and wouldn't leave us to find a new baby rooster. So those of us who almost like you went out looking for your new baby.

Here you go, Bud....I'd avoid it's beak if I were you.
15 Comments
When Do We Love...part 2 Mar 8, 2008 3:08 pm
1030 Views
I left to go to the store...and didn't realize part of this post was cut off...I know it's long...it's my thoughts at work.... So now we'll see...if I can rewrite the rest....
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Can I love you if I've never seen you? Can I love you if I've never heard your voice? Can I truly know who you are? Perhaps I can only ever know that part of you that you show me...but I have often found that when people share pain....or love...they share far more of themselves than than they realize. In conversation we often have to think quickly, concisely...and it reveals a great deal about people.

Occasionally I have found that people I instinctively trusted...truly have not reached the place where they live their words. Or perhaps...their words were a sham from the beginning. And sometimes I find the opposite...that a gruff or brash persona masks a heart that cares deeply and truly; and the exterior is a shield to prevent people touching too deeply. I know this...I live this.

At the point that I can hear your deepest thoughts in your words...and believe me...I don't listen for the mistakes in our words...I listen for the love and caring behind them...at the point where you have...opened up and shown me who you are inside...you are a part of my heart...and I will never willingly let you go. Those who are a part of my heart...remain within it forever. I love you with all my heart...and I will always be there to love you...to help you...to be a part of your circle...as you are a part of mine.

I know...many people are more visual than this. I know so many people who believe...they cannot open up to anyone they haven't seen...touched...been in close proximity to. I know this. I know that many people believe that attraction is physical and based upon appearances. From this perspective...I would be asking you to live up to whatever my ideal was in appearances. I simply can't...and won't.

I don't care what you look like physically. Yes, it is wonderful to have a face I can associate with your voice or your name...but faces are...not who we are. We are born with specific characteristics...I have dark brown hair with red highlight. I have hazel eyes...more green than brown. I have one blind eye. I am tall...for the average height of women. I am inclined to build muscles easily and have a bit denser bone structure. I have big feet. I have full lips. I have short fingers. Can I change any of those things...by choosing to change them? Of course not. I can have plastic surgery...but why would I care? If you can't live with my blind eye...or my red highlights...that's a personal issue...because none of those things make me who I am.

As time passes, I age. I get more gray in my hair (and dye it more frequently)...my skin ages and becomes more inclined to fine wrinkles...my breasts lose their elasticity...or gain it...when I find them...I'll tell you. Maybe I walk a bit more stooped...or my bones creak as I move. Maybe I am sore more often...or less flexible. I'm changing. So are you. If I love you today for how you look....will I still love you in ten years when you have changed totally? Not if my love is based on your appearance.

Who are you really? You are not your gray hair or your perfect six pack...you are not that lusty man who can throw me on the bed and please me for six days straight (ok...slight exaggeration)...you are the person inside that body. The person I came to know through our conversations. The person whose heart speaks to my own. The person who cares with all their heart...and tries always to be better...stronger...more giving. That's the person I know...and the person I care about.

Yes...meeting one another is a great thing. I loved meeting Carolyn and Lisa...truly I loved it. But it changed NOTHING in how I see either one of them. I loved them before I met them...I love them now. They touch my heart with their laughter and humor...and they touch my soul with their caring...and I never needed to see either one to know that.

I love Cat as a sister...and Dan as a brother...and nothing will ever change that. They are who they are...deep inside...and nothing on the outside can change who they are. I love people for the people they are...for the changes they make..for the desire to grow...for the hearts they open...and that has nothing to do with being able to touch your hand...or look into your eyes. If I doubt you so much...that I need to do that....there is something wrong...and I am probably making a mistake.

So...I'm curious...at what point...do you know you love a person...as a friend...as a sister to your heart...as a lover...and what does it take for you to be sure..to know your heart is involved...you care maybe more than you wanted to...and both of you...are REAL?
12 Comments
When Do We Love? Mar 8, 2008 12:17 pm
850 Views
This post is in no way related to my previous posts. It came out of a conversation I had today...and I simply want to make everyone aware....I am fine...no one has done anything to hurt me...the people in my life totally rock and I would do anything I could for each and every one of you. I am only using this post to pose a question....and to think through some things I've been wondering about anyway.
************************************************

I wonder when the moment comes that you touch my heart. I wonder when it is..that I can truly know...you are someone special in my world...and I love you with all my heart. I wonder if that moment is that same for each of us...the circumstances...the emotions...or are we all different...do we all respond in totally unique ways?

We come to this place...each of us for our own reasons...but almost all of us will tell you...we had no intention of coming here. We came here by mistake...on a whim...from curiosity...from the click of a single button on a computer.

I know..that when I first found this place...I thought it might be fun to put my thoughts down...to share what I was thinking. I wasn't sure if anyone would ever care to read those thoughts...that has never been the point for me...it was simply to see my own thoughts..and have one further technique to use to review..my choices...my decisions...and perhaps along the way...to find friendships...to touch other people and to learn more about people from other places. No expectations...I probably wouldn't ever come back again. But I did.

I'm not sure why I ever came back the first time. It simply was something to do to distract me from the fighting with my ex. Seeing people respond to your thoughts...is a heady experience...even when it's not positive. And so...you write again....and just let it ride. It was just a place to come...and poke my nose into other people's thoughts...and wonder about their lives.

I found....as I continued to write...that sometimes people would say..."I've been there. You are writing my thoughts...my life..." and I felt...connected...to people far beyond my sphere. That is also a heady feeling...and we feel we are building "relationships" of some kind with one another. Each time you talk to me...I feel as if I know you better...and I begin to wonder...how was your day today? How are you feeling? Are you laughing or crying? How can I help you?

I tend to be empathic in some ways. I feel the emotions people put out into the universe. That's an odd thing to say...but when someone tells me of their pain...I draw it into me and try to heal it. Sometimes I can take a large part of that pain...and leave the person to handle something much less than they began with. In the same way...I draw on the laughter and love people share...to rebuild what I deplete taking on pain. Yes...I know I'm crazy...are you just figuring it out?

Sometimes it can be as simple as words shared between two people....when you tell me what is hurting you...I simply find the words that you need to hear. I don't always know where they come from...often my own past...but sometimes...they are just there. And I share them...and you leave with something to consider...something that gives you hope. And I have accomplished what I set out to do.

Somewhere in the middle....you touch my heart. As you tell me who you are...and how you see the world..you become more and more real to me. As you share your history...and your pain; your love...and your laughter...you become my friend. I've never seen you...I wouldn't recognize you on the street...but I know your heart...and I love it. As we move further along the path we walk together...you become a part of my life. This is my friend....and I want to hold them safe in my love.

Can I love you if I've never seen you? Can I love you if I've never heard your voice? Can I truly know who you are? Perhaps I can only ever know that part of you that you show me...but I have often found that when people share pain....or love...they share far more of themselves than t
13 Comments
Wondering Why Mar 8, 2008 7:49 am
930 Views
Sometimes life...and people...confuse me. Just when I think I understand...the world jumps up and bites me in the butt...as if it has to say..."Hey...wake up...it's not that simple."

Sometimes I wonder...why we try so hard to win...to grow. Wouldn't it just be easier....to live our life as it happens? To just...go with the flow and accept when it sucks...and know...it will soon be over...and none of it will have mattered anyway?

What's the use in struggling to get past all that happens to us? Is there ever a place we can stop and simply say...."Aha...I won...I lived...and you didn't defeat me." Or are we only spitting in the wind...holding back the storms so they don't break us?

It isn't about winning...but sometimes...I wish that we truly did get what we deserve in life...and that bad things only happened to bad people.
24 Comments
My Song Mar 8, 2008 4:48 am
776 Views
Bitch...............Meredith Brooks

I hate the world today
You're so good to me
I know but I can't change
Tried to tell you
But you look at me like maybe
I'm an angel underneath
Innocent and sweet
Yesterday I cried
Must have been relieved to see
The softer side
I can understand how you'd be so confused
I don't envy you
I'm a little bit of everything
All rolled into one

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

So take me as I am
This may mean
You'll have to be a stronger man
Rest assured that
When I start to make you nervous
And I'm going to extremes
Tomorrow I will change
And today won't mean a thing

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

Just when you think, you got me figured out
The season's already changing
I think it's cool, you do what you do
And don't try to save me

I'm a bitch, I'm a lover
I'm a child, I'm a mother
I'm a sinner, I'm a saint
I do not feel ashamed
I'm your hell, I'm your dream
I'm nothing in between
You know you wouldn't want it any other way

I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numb, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive
You know I wouldn't want it any other way
16 Comments
Silences Mar 7, 2008 9:51 pm
776 Views
Sometimes...there are no words....there are only..silences.
14 Comments
A Memory Mar 5, 2008 9:32 pm
958 Views
Time spins in crazy cartwheels as I drift away. I try to focus on a single moment; but all are encapsulated in the flashing whirlpool of simultaneous instants. I remember your touch; your body so warm against my back as I curled into you; arms wrapping me like vines, drawing me closer. I bloomed for you....in that place and time.

I remember the softness of your neck beneath my lips as I turned within your arms. Legs entwined as if they were serpents, we held each other for long pauses. I could not resist the taste of your skin for long. If I could breathe you for just one heartbeat...I could carry your scent, your taste...into all of my tomorrows.

I remember whispering words of love into your ear; your soft laughter and the darkness folding us closer in her arms as you showed me...my words...in your way...and I needed you...always...I wanted you...eternally...and forever...you filled the windows of my soul...with your love...as if a memory...of tomorrow...in yesterday.
22 Comments
Nothing to Say Mar 5, 2008 9:12 pm
874 Views
I'm listening to the train whistle. It's on the tracks half a mile away, but the town is so quiet I can hear it almost as if it were within a block. My mind is exhausted. I worked a 12 hour day, getting some of these reports done...and I have more to do tomorrow. No biggie...but this one report did NOT want to calculate right. That's always frustrating. Busy days. I really love being kept this busy...and I love more that I'm beginning to feel...competent at what I'm doing.

I spoke to Kelly tonight...at some length. She is exhausted; not sleeping. I wish I could make everything all right for her...and I can't. All I can do is to be there to hear her...and it's making me crazy. Maybe I need a long weekend in Colorado. Of course...MAYBE Kelly needs a bigger apartment so I can take a longer weekend in Colorado...lol....Kelly....can I sleep on the leather couch?

It's funny. I'm rarely alone anywhere in my world. There is always someone visiting, talking, laughing....and right now...I feel so alone. I'm ok...I'm mostly just tired...and strangely lonely. Funny how that happens...and we sit back and wonder...what the heck am I lonely for? I've been talking to people all night.

Do you know...when I get a little down...I do very weird things to make myself laugh. Right now I have a rubber band wrapped around my teeth. I'm not sure why...perhaps it's so I can avoid braces to close that gap in my front teeth...lol...or not...whatever. I was trying to amuse myself...I failed...

It was a beautiful day today...a whole 29 degrees...but it felt like 40 to me...warm...sunny...the kind of day you want to just go play...curl up on the hammock and cuddle. Ok..maybe it really needs to be fifty first...I don't know...it just felt...so much better than the 6 below it was yesterday morning.

Well...now that I've bored myself to tears...maybe I'll go read for awhile. Can you tell I had nothing to say tonight? I have plenty to say...but...no brain cells to say it with. I hope y'all sleep really well...especially you, Kelly...

Maybe I just really wanted to tell y'all...I love you.
12 Comments
Need to Relax Mar 4, 2008 9:43 pm
897 Views
I'm heading to bed here in a minute. I'm so exhausted. It's been a very long week already. This month-end has actually gone amazingly well. I felt as if I had a grip on a lot of the reports I was doing...and I had the priorities in order. I did start setting up a month-end task list...now that my schedule ahs multiplied so much...and was a little intimidated at the sheer number of tasks I've already listed. Wow..I hadn't really thought about how much had changed.

I listened to Dido all day today...my co-workers have got to be ready to shatter that cd...but I really love it...and they only have to hear me sing...occasional lines...cause I've been to busy to even think about singing. They are getting a kick out of scaring the heck out of me though. Someone will sneak up behind me and grab my shoulder while I'm engrossed in my cd....and my work...and when I jump and yell...they think they are funny. I think they just volunteered for my next practical joke.

I loathe when people scare me like that. My heart starts racing and I just want to cry. I've never done that kind of surprise well.

We are having a mixed bag of weather...rain, snow, sun...and cold....sooooooooooo cold. I was actually cold today. Doesn't happen often...they wanted to take my temperature. Leave me alone...I'm fine...I'm just COLD...and running a heater in my office...and wearing a sweater...and putting a blankie on my legs...so I'm COLD!!!

Life is good...work is good...now it's time for school to get good. Although...I really need to come home more...awake...alive...holy crows...I'm spending all my energy at work...and it feels GREAT! I really love being this busy.

I'm thinking we need to do something for fun...something...to just relax and let go.. I'm doing the Junior Miss Pageant stuff again Saturday...so..how about a week from Saturday...the 15th...a karaoke. I'd like to check out that PalTalk place Sinny told me about. We often have trouble with mics at the y. So...does anyone know about PalTalk? And...is anyone interested in another karaoke..play time...visit?

Let me know.....I can get it set up....
14 Comments
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