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Blogs > Ari_fairy > Ari-Wood > May 12, 2008
Ari-Wood
Welcome to Ari-Wood. Step right up and see the sights. To your left, you will see the delicate fragility of fairy land. On the right, watch out for the fiery dragons. For your safety, we recommend you stay on the path and don't stray into the netherworlds of risk and chance. Alternatively, perhaps you like the benefits that go along with taking that chance..........

All rights to the poetry and stories in Ari-Wood
belong exclusively to the author.


That which is not mine,
That which is not good,
That which is not altruistic....
Is requested to leave.

The stories and poems encased in this crystal blog are written from my own imagination and in no way are intended to be viewed as written to any specific person unless I specifically state that it is.

My heart is a book which you leaf through as simply as the pages of this blog..

Antiqued an worn
The words bleed
From a hidden place
Deep within my chapters
Where only one can see
And whispering spirits tarry

Frayed are my edges
Yet my gliding
Remains beautiful
Not a mere ornament
But a testament to the tooling
Which has geared my life

Sown tightly is my binding
I have weathered the years
I shine with wisdom an character
Like no other book
Yet my cover bares the marks
Of ordinary use

Turn my pages lightly
And you shall read
My hued memories
Of dreams and dreaminess
Of times and timelessness
Of lives and liveliness

Upon my inner pages
Are scribbled
Achromatic dreams
My love
My hopes
My life

You are such a treasured book
All my love, Sister of my heart
(Written by a special sister of my heart...MsAlchemy2...a special gift...I wanted to share.)
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The FF Community May 12, 2008 11:17 pm
992 Views
I've been avoiding this place for awhile. I come here...and feel...so much emptiness. The one thing I love most about Friendfinder...is the sense of community...the playing together....the caring for one another. It has always felt like a huge neighborhood; as if we all live next to one another along our quiet curving streets. I don't feel that way anymore.

It feels as if we have all gone our separate ways....and friendships don't matter....nothing matters....we are so wrapped up in ourselves. Perhaps I am as guilty of that as anyone. A couple of things have been really hard for me to talk about....for several reasons.

It's hard to discuss having cancer. What do I say about it? My immune system is shot. I get sick frequently. It seems that I get one infection after another. That's not much like me....but it's the me I've been for the past couple of months. Hopefully...we are nearly at the end of that. I hope.

Although I didn't discuss it with anyone, I tried chemotherapy briefly....I'll never do it again. I have never felt so horribly sick in my life. It seems to me...that using chemotherapy to prevent any recurrence of cancer...is a silly thing to do. They can't even be sure how successful it is at preventing recurrences. All that it does is to reduce my immune system even more....and I really can't deal with that right now. I simply want to feel better.

Since my ex moved out...I have felt...particularly boring. My feeling, not anything anyone has said. I love my life....I am so much happier...everything changed for me....and I would never let it change back. Each day I learn more and more about who I really am. Each day I work harder to heal from the past...to let go of the attitudes and behaviors that had become so much a part of my life. I try not to be insecure. I focus on believing in myself. I keep all my thoughts as positive as I can...and I try to let go of what hurts or upsets me as fast as I can. It makes for a pretty boring person.

My personal life? Hmmmm....I'm not entirely sure I have a personal life. I have days....I get through one day at a time...and make the best that I can make of it....and enjoy the love and laughter I share with my friends....but...quite often I come here...and all I find is that same emptiness. Where did our community go?

I think of one common thread as I write this. I've heard many stories about communities being overtaken by gangs....communities where the lifestyle is diminishing because the population base changes. To some extent...I see that here.

Maybe we should consider it from this perspective. In each of those communities....the residents felt helpless to change what was happening. We are none of us helpless. FF can be exactly what we choose it to be....what we work to make it. We can give up the sense of community that drew each of us here...or we can stand strong and tall....and refuse to let anyone drive us out of our homes....our blogs...our friends...our community.
20 Comments
Touching a Heart May 12, 2008 8:39 pm
738 Views
I made french bread pizzas tonight...not that I'm supposed to eat them...but dang...it sounded appealing. It takes so little time to put them together...and I always enjoy them. I put them in the oven to cook...and went outside to check the oil and window cleaner in my car...both of which needed more fluid.

As I added the fluid a young girl walked up and very politely asked me for directions to a specific address. She was a young african american woman...which stands out in this community...we are primarily caucasian and basque here...with a number of hispanic people living in the next town over....but we rarely see african americans here.

The girl was very polite and was clearly selling a product...and of course I listened to her sales pitch. She told a story about her parents being killed five years ago...which I can't voice an opinion on the honesty of...and that she was working to pay her way through college. Now...what I noticed most about her...was how very polite and friendly she was. Yes...I know...sales person...but I was enjoying her company.

It snowed today...and it was bitter cold as we stood and talked outside...so I offered her a cup of coffee. I was amazed at how her face lit up. She accepted and came in...at which point I remembered the pizzas...and hurried to take them out of the oven.

Somehow...this young woman touched my heart...even though I couldn't tell you her story was true....even though I couldn't tell you a thing about her....and I invited her to stay for dinner. It wasn't surprising that she said no one had ever done that before...it was surprising how swiftly...and neatly...she wolfed down every bite.

We talked for nearly an hour and then I needed to finish my car and get some chores done around the place. She joked a few times that I should adopt her....and a small piece of me wished that I could.

No matter what else may or may not be true about her....the person she showed me was lovely...polite, caring, gentle...and I wished I could keep her....safe from everything unpleasant in the world. I couldn't...and can't....and I know that....still...I gave her my email address...and I hope she will stay in touch. I'd love to hear that the world gave her everything that her positive thinking can bring her.

And perhaps....just perhaps....someone's caring...touched her heart...as much as she touched mine.
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