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Blogs > Ari_fairy > Ari-Wood > May 6, 2008
Ari-Wood
Welcome to Ari-Wood. Step right up and see the sights. To your left, you will see the delicate fragility of fairy land. On the right, watch out for the fiery dragons. For your safety, we recommend you stay on the path and don't stray into the netherworlds of risk and chance. Alternatively, perhaps you like the benefits that go along with taking that chance..........

All rights to the poetry and stories in Ari-Wood
belong exclusively to the author.


That which is not mine,
That which is not good,
That which is not altruistic....
Is requested to leave.

The stories and poems encased in this crystal blog are written from my own imagination and in no way are intended to be viewed as written to any specific person unless I specifically state that it is.

My heart is a book which you leaf through as simply as the pages of this blog..

Antiqued an worn
The words bleed
From a hidden place
Deep within my chapters
Where only one can see
And whispering spirits tarry

Frayed are my edges
Yet my gliding
Remains beautiful
Not a mere ornament
But a testament to the tooling
Which has geared my life

Sown tightly is my binding
I have weathered the years
I shine with wisdom an character
Like no other book
Yet my cover bares the marks
Of ordinary use

Turn my pages lightly
And you shall read
My hued memories
Of dreams and dreaminess
Of times and timelessness
Of lives and liveliness

Upon my inner pages
Are scribbled
Achromatic dreams
My love
My hopes
My life

You are such a treasured book
All my love, Sister of my heart
(Written by a special sister of my heart...MsAlchemy2...a special gift...I wanted to share.)
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Evolution May 6, 2008 9:51 pm
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Lately I've avoided the blogs. It's seemed so negative here...and I've chosen to avoid anything truly negative. While I find that my world seems to be leveling out and moving forward in a positive wave....I also find that I am choosing to walk away from situations that drain or exhaust me. That's really not my style...or is it?

Conversations with Kelly in the past week have led me to be more open in exploring who I really am. That doesn't mean I even think about it...I just allow myself to feel...more...deeper....more frequently. As I move furniture...I evaluate the room for where it feels as if the momentum is upbeat....and forward moving. When I feel content in the room...I am done.

This was equally true when I bought clothes that were bright and vivid this weekend. It wasn't a conscious choice...it was more of an instinct...and then when I got home and looked at the colors....I just stood there and thought....what have you done? But you know what? I love these colors.

So...instinct. Feeling what feels comfortable and good to me. I don't think about it at all...I just let it happen. I've been very bad about calling my mother as well. Conversations with her are always exhausting and negative...and I'm simply not ready to have anyone rain on my parade. I want to keep the positive wave washing over me until I've internalized it.

I think sometimes....that the person I have been for the past...nearly 30 years....wasn't me. It was the person I needed to be to get through. And the person I am finding inside me right now...is this totally different person. I started this move when I got divorced...but the changes were only made very slowly and gradually until he left....I needed to keep that protective shell active and shielding me. Now....I don't find that I need it in the same way...and slowly it is cracking and someone new is emerging.

I'm not sure where I am going with these changes. I find myself once again softer....and quieter. When I get home from work...I often turn on my music....and start cleaning/organizing. In short order I find myself dancing around the house as I work. I don't mind working....I don't mind anything I've done so far....I've actually enjoyed the movement...and the dancing....that has accompanied each thing I've done. It's probably not a smart move to dance as I climb the stepstool...but I find it a little bit scary to climb on the stepstool...my fear of heights hasn't gone away...but I do fight it every day.

I like that I'm enjoying my daily life enough to be dancing...and it often surprises me....to realize that I've been dancing around the room as I worked. Those are the best kind of surprises.

As for the rest....I haven't known what to say. There are things I'd like to talk about....but can't. Strangely, I find myself more private....and when I am not private...more protective of other people.

I feel as if I am just....boring these days...but I have to say...I am so very happy...not everything in my life is perfect or wonderful...but it's all working out...and changing....and growing. I go to bed earlier...I sleep better...and I am really loving...the changes that each day brings to me. It's simply evolution....as we walk our path...we change...and grow.

But I miss you all. I simply....don't know that I have anything interesting to say. So....I just don't. I hope you understand.
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