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 | Blogs > > you did step in it > Member Deleted Post |
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Member Deleted Post | ||
5/20/2008 5:41 am |
Why the heck does she even think what happened to her years ago was even any of your fault?? Or your boyfriend's??? Are you supposed to feel guilty by association? Hell, NO. It's none of her business who you want to go out with and for her to lay some sort of blame on you is not only unfair, but irrational. I can imagine how you feel--I'd be fuming mad myself, being put on the spot for no good reason. For a 60something woman, she still has a lot of growing up to do. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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 5/20/2008 6:10 am |
neither you nor your boyfriend,knew about, or were involved in the affair. how can you be blamed????????
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5/20/2008 6:28 am |
I concur with both Munchie and earth. It has nothing to do with your or your boyfriend and they are dragging up the past for no good reason other than to cause pain. They have no right to be angry with you.
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5/20/2008 6:37 am |
If you want to make her even angrier, bring your b/f to work and make out in front of the old hag. Ha ha.... When two people find love, no one, I mean no one, has the right to stick their nose into their business. Be happy with your boyfriend, you are so lucky to have someone in your life, maybe your aide is jealous.
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5/20/2008 6:47 am |
You're too big for that small town.
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5/20/2008 7:33 am |
You reacted in a most tolerate and polite way, as I think the aide was being very irrational! I'm sorry that she hurt you so much. Maybe she should have a day off to calm herself down and reflect about all the unfairness she had done to both you and your boyfriend. Agnes
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5/20/2008 7:54 am |
Wow I have been away a bit to long  I have to gently jump into this I can clearly see that the aide has been deeply hurt by the actions of what very well and bluntly could be named a "homewrecker situation" and yet this decision was made by her husband to stray from his marraige and still even knowing this fact it just doesn't make this any easier with a quick fix to heal the betrayal that the aide is clearly feeling now and since she has been clearly hurt and most definately will not be as trusting haven been hurt to her core I think her defenses are up and ready to strike before struck even if this may not be a fair thing to do to the innocent non participants to the said crime of passion but i'm sure she isn't feeling as if she was treated fairly so her venom is fast and furiously unfair in her eyes she's right, and just, to lash out at anyone that had any relation to the person that hurt her and it might take therapy to see that she should direct her mistrust closer to home starting with her husband more so then with the son of the woman that was in fact wrong in every sense of the word wrong to entertain being with a married man and the fact of the matter is that now she (the aide) is wrong herself but she doesn't see clearly and in her mind she is clearly right to want no part or connection with the pain of mistrust and most possibly feels that since you have connected into that circle of mistrust you now are a part of the pain that she will stop at no end to protect herself from . Know that you are dealing with a fragile heart and i'm sure this could possibly be the most lethal situation to heal from so the cycle must be broken some how breathing trust into your aide that you clearly had nothing to do with the pain and should not be added onto her " I should not trust list " ! Good luck ! Theo 
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5/20/2008 9:01 am |
I think her issue with me is not that I'm going out with him, but that I didn't tell her. She had to hear it from someone else. I disagree. I think she'd have been angry and hurt no matter when and how she found out. Peace .. elaine67
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5/20/2008 4:14 pm |
M...you know you can not change how she reacted, and you have no control over her life, 'past present or future'. I can tell you this...I can only imagine what her husband is living with. Shake it off beautiful woman! I mean seriously shake it off, people are so feeble minded at times, your tender nature is a target for this old gals resentful one. She is angry at you and the son of your husband's lover!? Give me a break, she is mad as hell at herself, and until she can live in her OWN skin, nothing will ever be right in her life. Transfer?...pfffft...whatever, "wherever you go...so there you shall be!" Forgive me but my good nature went missing a couple of days ago, and I wish I could have a conversation with her. I would happy to let her know how completely stupid she is being....right along with the rest of the residents of Payton Place. I agree with GB on this, you are too darn big for that little town. HUGZ to you!
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5/20/2008 4:22 pm |
I responded with a kneejerk reaction....then I deleted it...lol...oh my goodness I am in a bitchy today.....well gf...my heart hurts for you and I can tell you that I can see your aide is wounded, however.....she is lashing out at the wrong person. She is mad as hell at herself...and her hubby you can bet your last dollar on that one. You can not change her M....you have to just let that one go, she will have to just find out for herself, that transfering will do nothing because as the old saying goes....wherever you go, so there you shall be.....you can never move away from your problems because most of them are of your own making. They will indeed follow you. I agree with Gower you are too big for that small town. Write me sweetie...we can hash this out if you like! Love you Michelley elley Chelley belley
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5/20/2008 10:52 pm |
Mary, it sad to know what you are going through. I hope you get the courage to move on past it. Just remember, storms come and go. Your intentions are good, not meant to hurt anyone. Stick to your guns
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5/21/2008 7:01 pm |
greetings mary-el--just dropping in to say hello and sending hugs to you and little missy--oh i could share a few words on this and yet something within me tells me that mary-el indeed has found the way to deal with this in a win-win situation--for you are the bigger person indeed peace love and laughter kel
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 5/22/2008 9:48 am |
I wonder if you two were so good friends of each other, that you would tell her about your boyfriends (?). If you were/are, she may have some reason for being disappointed (not angry), if not, well ... forget it
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5/22/2008 12:56 pm |
That does NOT sound like a very friendly town. Do you need some dynamite? TAKEN it yet? Yes or No? ( )
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5/22/2008 1:48 pm |
No, we were never that kind of friends. We did confide, but not like that. She's now asked for a transfer out of the library. I really can't stand my job anymore. Peace .. elaine67
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5/22/2008 3:45 pm |
You have every right to be angry. People are used to categorize others as good and bad, and not their actions. The weird thing -- in this case -- is that it's not just them, but everyone related to them as well. I noticed in the past that a lot of false judgment comes from being hurt, and that way people hurt others. I know it's hard, but try to see it as it is: her false judgment because she's been hurt (that is no justification for her actions). Sometimes it's better to pity someone than to fight them.
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5/23/2008 7:51 am |
How unreasonable ! She's behaving as if you're the woman who had an affair with her husband. I hate to say this but her unreasonableness may be why he had an affair in the first place. I just don't see what the significance is in your dating a relative of the woman her husband had an affair with. - or even dating the woman for Gawd's sake. In a small town there is a limited population to choose from anyway. I hate injustice and this really does seem so unjust. Feck em.
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5/23/2008 8:57 am |
I can see that she seems to have been betrayed by you. As the old saying goes, "Some people wear their heart on their selves." There is a guy down here that bitches and complains about everyone but himself. Some people can not be happy unless they are trying to make everyone else miserable. From what you have said, I can not see that you have done anything wrong and when people want to talk about you behind your back, remember the line by Gene Wilder in the movie, Blazing Saddles: "They are simple country people. You know morons." 
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5/25/2008 2:01 am |
its not your fault, find fault with her work and sack her should not be hard since her personality is faulty thanks for reading and as per Dave Allen "May your God go with you"
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5/26/2008 9:25 pm |
hi mary the responses that were shared with you are good ones. i have nothing to add except your happiness and health family too should be your first priority. if she has a problem with this then its her burden to carry,... love is supposed to be a joyous emotion don't let her ruin it for you. god bless mary i pray this is all resolved when you read this hugs my friend dan
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5/27/2008 9:57 am |
She's got her own issues, push on. You'll be fine. You are not in charge of her happiness. What you do and who you see off the clock is your own business. Did she ever ask who your boyfriend was? Did she make a point of inviting you two to dinner or to her house or anything like that? Don't let her play the guilt card on you. play your own hand.
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