 | Blogs > gowerboy > thoughtsfromtheedge > Muse's Poetic Challenge #16 |
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the boy fell at the border as the tracer sang a velvet serenade and death read tales to the maiden pouring blood like wine while heralds played a long lament too late, too late the choices all are made _________________________________________ See Poetic Challenge 16 for more details. |
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 6/6/2008 2:57 pm |
a long lament too late, too late the choices all are made I went and grabbed the challenge words from Muse's page....then came back and read yours again....(perplexed look)....are you an enigma as well? Anyway...I loved this bit....haunting and paralyzing....that desire to just take back what has been said...what has been done...and the consequence is what it is...... Michelle 
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6/8/2008 6:47 pm |
 . ...to much drama and I'm gone
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6/9/2008 7:37 am |
a long lament too late, too late the choices all are made I went and grabbed the challenge words from Muse's page....then came back and read yours again....(perplexed look)....are you an enigma as well? Anyway...I loved this bit....haunting and paralyzing....that desire to just take back what has been said...what has been done...and the consequence is what it is...... But then, he came out with loads of old crap, did Oscar. Glad you liked it, M.
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6/9/2008 7:38 am |
 (I'm a bit new to this smiley thing)
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6/9/2008 10:07 pm |
I'm amazed you didn't get the usual gazillion glowing comments on this one. The blog world must be on holiday. I thought the imagery was intense. Modern day Romeo and Juliet.
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6/10/2008 3:53 am |
Another good one.  I'll make up a new word for great - em,.... Splengoodudid Don't worry I won't put that in the next challenge  Thanks for taking part  Blog Muse2u 
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6/10/2008 5:52 am |
Peace of mind is attained Not by ignoring problems but by Solving them. Raymond Hull It's nice to be insane when No one is looking 
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6/10/2008 9:01 am |
As Oscar Wilde once said, "Only the shallow know themselves." But then, he came out with loads of old crap, did Oscar. Glad you liked it, M. I am dang glad that I can do the doggie paddle thing because if knowing myself gauges my depth.....I would have drown years ago. You always make me smile, G. Michelle
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6/10/2008 11:35 am |
I'm amazed you didn't get the usual gazillion glowing comments on this one. The blog world must be on holiday. I thought the imagery was intense. Modern day Romeo and Juliet. any time, the philistines. Glad you liked it.
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6/10/2008 11:37 am |
Another good one. I'll make up a new word for great - em,.... Splengoodudid Don't worry I won't put that in the next challenge Thanks for taking part Choose your own meanings
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6/10/2008 11:37 am |
Peace of mind is attained Not by ignoring problems but by Solving them. Raymond Hull
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6/10/2008 11:40 am |
Loads and loads of it! Smelly old Fart....not really old though was he. I am dang glad that I can do the doggie paddle thing because if knowing myself gauges my depth.....I would have drown years ago. You always make me smile, G. Seems to me that most still waters tend to be a little stagnant.
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6/10/2008 4:35 pm |
hey pal what up ? good to see you again straight from the heart 
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6/10/2008 6:11 pm |
Oi, I'm merely pedestrian, not a philistine. I think of war when I read this poem, I think of it being too late for so many, and I hate the ones who had the power to make the choices for them and chose wrong. As I was saying to a friend online a while ago, I abhor war simply because I refuse to wrap the deaths of innocent people who never had a say in the matter into a neat little concept called "collateral damage." I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/10/2008 6:52 pm |
This is a perfect poem. I especially like velvet serenade. Peace .. elaine67
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6/11/2008 1:18 am |
congrats in your 3 months gold ball (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•smile and be happy always
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6/11/2008 2:52 am |
The poetic man here in ff to know me is to love me
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6/11/2008 4:56 am |
I don't know how you manage to take a bundle of words from someone else's list and make such a piece. Due to the border reference I thought of our much discussed illegal aliens. the scandal which drew interest to the previous blog. I think it was an interest in relationships.
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6/11/2008 5:20 am |
hey pal what up ? good to see you again thanks for dropping by I'll get over to your blog as soon as I finish these darn translations sheesh
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6/11/2008 5:22 am |
Oi, I'm merely pedestrian, not a philistine. I think of war when I read this poem, I think of it being too late for so many, and I hate the ones who had the power to make the choices for them and chose wrong. As I was saying to a friend online a while ago, I abhor war simply because I refuse to wrap the deaths of innocent people who never had a say in the matter into a neat little concept called "collateral damage." when I wrote it. Orwell was right, Newspeak is here. Pedestrian, my foot.
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6/11/2008 5:24 am |
This is a perfect poem. I especially like velvet serenade. I especially like perfect poem. Thanks.
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6/11/2008 5:25 am |
congrats in your 3 months gold ball You seem to have got yourself one, too.
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6/11/2008 5:26 am |
The poetic man here in ff
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6/11/2008 5:34 am |
I don't know how you manage to take a bundle of words from someone else's list and make such a piece. Due to the border reference I thought of our much discussed illegal aliens. the scandal which drew interest to the previous blog. I think it was an interest in relationships. and begin to huddle together in little groups. Immigrants crossing borders fits the imagery, too. I can't imagine what it must be like, choosing to leave your family and home and to risk your life in order to start a new one. Excuse my flippant scandal remark. Can I say "kibble parable" again?
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6/11/2008 8:10 am |
Seems like a modern drama of the US border crossing...in a Shakespearian way to describe it, by you. Very good "Never look back, the future is so close!" Angie
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6/11/2008 8:20 am |
Seems like a modern drama of the US border crossing...in a Shakespearian way to describe it, by you. Very good of that specifically, but it does seem to fit. Glad you like it.
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6/11/2008 8:22 am |
You're spot on with the war theme. That's exactly what I was thinking when I wrote it. Orwell was right, Newspeak is here. Pedestrian, my foot. How callous of you. (Here we go again) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/11/2008 10:05 am |
Your foot? How callous of you. (Here we go again) Are you saying I have no sole? (Does the world need another exchange of bad puns? Probably not. But hey, who cares?)
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6/11/2008 11:57 am |
I just stare at the words until they get nervous and begin to huddle together in little groups. This is another one of those quotes that I just wonder....how on earth does he come up with this stuff? For real, is this original or have you borrowed it from somewhere? Just asking, because it is note worthy. Michelle
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6/11/2008 3:38 pm |
Callous? Are you saying I have no sole? (Does the world need another exchange of bad puns? Probably not. But hey, who cares?) (And I say that quite fondly) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/12/2008 5:51 am |
I just stare at the words until they get nervous and begin to huddle together in little groups. This is another one of those quotes that I just wonder....how on earth does he come up with this stuff? For real, is this original or have you borrowed it from somewhere? Just asking, because it is note worthy. but when they get to me, they're a little charred round the edges.
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6/12/2008 5:52 am |
No, but you're really a heel for starting this up again. (And I say that quite fondly)
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6/12/2008 7:41 am |
You didn't expect me to toe the line, did you? (Bad punners unite!) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/12/2008 8:09 am |
You've always been a shoe-in for puns. (Bad punners unite!) (We have nothing to lose but our minds!)
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6/12/2008 8:15 am |
Don't go getting too big for your boots, now. (We have nothing to lose but our minds!) (I lost mine when I joined this place--aaaaiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!!! What IS this place??) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/12/2008 9:56 am |
I'm taking it all in stride, you know. (I lost mine when I joined this place--aaaaiiieeeeeeeeeeee!!!! What IS this place??) (Welcome to the dark stride...I mean, side.)
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6/12/2008 4:02 pm |
These things just come to me. I'm not sure where they come from, but when they get to me, they're a little charred round the edges. Michelle
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6/12/2008 4:10 pm |
I'm not sure if I can hack the pace. (Welcome to the dark stride...I mean, side.) (Darth Vader with a pedometer--handy for keeping track of how many steps he has to take before blowing up a planet) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/13/2008 4:30 am |
Visions of paper aeroplanes from hell...lol....no matter where they come from just as long as no blood pacts have been signed... Especially my own.
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6/13/2008 4:33 am |
You can just skip this altogether. (Darth Vader with a pedometer--handy for keeping track of how many steps he has to take before blowing up a planet) He loved hops. (If Darth used a pedometer, what did Luke use?)
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6/13/2008 6:03 am |
Do you know why Long John Silver liked beer so much? He loved hops. (If Darth used a pedometer, what did Luke use?) (Hops? Are you surreptitiously nudging this exchange into yeasty topics, and hence on to Marmite, again?) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/13/2008 6:56 am |
Luke, well, 'e wok'd a lot, too. (Hops? Are you surreptitiously nudging this exchange into yeasty topics, and hence on to Marmite, again?) (And I'm not saying that tongue-in-cheek.)
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6/13/2008 8:10 am |
Outstanding. Anything I add would be superfluous. (And I'm not saying that tongue-in-cheek.) Did you just give me a razzberry, then?? (And I'm pimping elricardo's frying pan pic--do vote for the bloke, por favor--before his butifarra blanca falls off) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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6/13/2008 9:14 am |
You're not? Did you just give me a razzberry, then?? (And I'm pimping elricardo's frying pan pic--do vote for the bloke, por favor--before his butifarra blanca falls off) had lunch before I read this. (Arroz con costra if you're interested). I've voted. Well pimped.
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6/13/2008 6:57 pm |
No chance of that. I can't stand the sight of blood. Especially my own. Michelle
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6/14/2008 2:15 am |
Thankyouverymuch. You seem to have got yourself one, too. (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•smile and be happy always
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6/16/2008 5:31 am |
hmmm....you like your steak well done then? It's more of an aversion to gushing, spurting blood and nasty wounds, that kind of thing. (I feel a bit sick now.)
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6/16/2008 5:32 am |
one mnth free only
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