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 | Blogs > gowerboy > thoughtsfromtheedge > Happy Birthday to me. |
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gowerboy
4/22/2007 8:36 am |
On this day in 1969, small-time blogger and half-hearted poet gowerboy was born in a small cave off the coast of San Marino. Sadly, his mother resigned shortly after the birth and he was raised by lemurs until his early teens. Realising his tail was never going to grow as long as the tail of his adopted brothers and sisters, he stowed away on a cargo ship bound for Montevideo. Becalmed in the Sargasso Sea, the crew were forced to eat the cargo of leather settees and gowerboy was discovered. Cast adrift with only a flask of tequila and a small, upholstered footstool for sustenance, he had the luck to be washed up on an inhabited island, Manhattan. Failing the US Immigration tests (to the question 'Have you ever been a member of the Communist Party?' he ticked yes "for a laugh" ), he was sentenced to five years hard labour. Fortunately, his sentence was commuted and after only three years as a high school English teacher he regained his freedom. Disillusioned by civilisation gowerboy decided to return to the only family he knew, but once again the rollerskate of fate was about to make its appearance on life's stairway. Hitch-hiking north to Madagascar (he'd read the atlas upside down) he was captured by a splinter group of radical Inuit nationalists dedicated to the overthrow of the Canadian state and the establishment of Eskimolandia. It took the kidnappers eighteen months to discover that nobody cared about the stateless adolescent, by which time he had escaped unharmed, apart from permanently cold feet and a fondness for blubber sandwiches. The next six years of gowerboy's life are shrouded in mystery. Had anyone asked him about this period, he might well have told them about it, but nobody did, so the facts remain scarce. All that can be said for certain is that gowerboy resurfaced working as a porcupine wrangler in Japan, with the name 'Alice' tattooed on his left cheek. The reason we know this is because this is what is contained in his police file. He was arrested for crimes against literature and imprisoned on the island of Hokkaido. The works for which he was condemned remain justly obscure. All circulating copies of the novels "Hopeless" and "Apathy" and the anthology of poetry "Perverse Verse" were impounded and destroyed. The only extant copies are held by the Nippon Secret Service in a sterile vacuum. Released after ten years, gowerboy was deported to Madagascar and divides his time between teaching Japanese to the lemurs and campaigning for the restoration of the dodo. He describes his life as "possibly less pointless than others I've seen". Happy birthday, gowerboy. |
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 4/22/2007 9:50 am |
 Happy Birthday... This is so creative.. I love your stories.. Ya know this would make a GREAT Disney Film.. Wishing you love, good cheer, and a song in your heart!
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4/22/2007 9:54 am |
Lemurs, Lemurs??? Madagascar........MISSSSSSSSSTYYYYYY Gowerboy was raised by lemurs!!!!!!!!!!!! she doesn't hear me........louder then....MISSSSSSSSSSSSSTYYYYY Gowerboy was raised by lemurs in Madagascar!!!!.....she's got a thing for lemurs... picking up my guitar and singing this old tune from Eskimoland... happy birthday to you happy birthday to you happy biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirth.....day dear Gowerboy happppppppppppppppppppyyyyyyyyyyyyy birthday toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo you
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4/22/2007 10:15 am |
Kon ni gi wa  ? Happy Birthday to you! 
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4/22/2007 1:24 pm |
HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU GOWERBOY!!!!!!!
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4/22/2007 1:30 pm |
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GOWERBOY NICE TO MEET YOU We are the leaves of one branch, the drops of one sea, the flowers of one garden.
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4/22/2007 2:54 pm |
Happy Birthday hunni i hope u have the best day n all ya wishes cum true...oooo wanna wear my fruit hat  Again Happy Birthday...hmmm 21 again like me Have a great week 
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4/22/2007 3:20 pm |
oh Happy happy birthday I hope it was fun  today........ gone tomorrow..xx
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4/22/2007 6:36 pm |
Hope you have adapted to life outside the matriarchal society. Anyway, I've read that Alice makes all her men wear those tattoos - after the bizarre, yet delightful, sumo ritual that is. Happy Birthday, Gower Peace .. elaine67
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4/22/2007 9:17 pm |
Yeeeeeeeeeeeee gads...it must have been you I was channeling when I wrote my story about a lemur.....at any rate HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! Misty Wishing you happiness Misty
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4/23/2007 1:08 am |
How did he manage to survive being cast adrift with only a footstool - most people need a settee for such a journey - and this highlights the ability of the human spirit to fight against all odds. Happy circumnavigation of the sun day! (PS Was the tattoo on the cheek on his face?)
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4/23/2007 1:49 am |
happy birthday gower wow what a journey! glad your here and doing your thing. because so many of us have enjoyed participating in all that is being shared.peace love happiness brotherly hug gower wa hoo a toast to the birthday boy dan
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4/23/2007 5:40 am |
You do realise that now you've told us your undoubtedly true life story, all the mystery is gone. Darn it, I was hoping there might be something odd about your upbringing. Anyway, loved the tale - definately more curly than a lemur's. Cheers and happy birthday.
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4/23/2007 7:16 am |
happy birthday to you---- peace love and laughter kel
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4/23/2007 9:15 am |
Thank you all for your "Happy Birthdays"... Carolyn - what a great idea...who could we get to do the voiceovers? Riny - gotta love those old traditional Eskimo songs...my favourites are "Snowflakes Keep Falling On My Head (and it's really not funny any more)" and "Singing In The Snow". BB - arigato gozaimash[i!1l]ta Nancy - always good to see you KT - nice to meet you too Missy - get that fruit hat on now! Kirst - it was elemenopy - what do you mean "all her men"?? *sniff* (thought I was special) Misty - how many times do I have to tell you...ask before you channel Lil - always so perspicacious...yes, the face...I'm not telling you about the other tattoo. Dan - brotherly hugs, manly handshakes, blokeish backslaps and beers all round...now we just need Jake...always so slow to the party. Scooter - I left the odd stuff out...didn't want to alarm anyone Kel - thank you, and enjoy your adventure!
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4/23/2007 10:45 am |
 *does as she's told* hmm grass skirt..lol i left it on the Island...most off it missin now 
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4/23/2007 12:59 pm |
heeheheeeee...now about that heart of poet that Riny has....it's in a jar...on the top left shelf in his kitchen....I think it's Emanuel Miguel Gufstafson the 405th. It's kind of shrivelled....think he bought it at an auction for those who had broken hearts and needed a new one... okay very gruesome!! heeheheeheheeeee Misty Wishing you happiness Misty
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4/23/2007 5:26 pm |
elemenopy - what do you mean "all her men"?? *sniff* (thought I was special) Didn't your life with the lemurs teach you anything? Peace .. elaine67
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4/24/2007 3:19 am |
Missed your, "ahem" life story when I was here yesterday and missed your birthday too, oopsy. Happy Belated birthday wishes. I hope the day was good Blog Muse2u 
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4/24/2007 12:09 pm |
it's in a jar????? where Misty??? I can't find it.......now who do I call sweetie????? ahhhh this bloghopping between Gowerboy and Misty is confusing........ok back to Misty's blog again...
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4/24/2007 10:14 pm |
Ummmmm sweetie...if you're calling Gowerboy sweetie, you and I will have to have THAT conversation!!! Ummm Riny the heart was right next to the chili powder--maybe you put it in one of your famous soups--by accident?? Cheerily Misty (who only calls Riny sweetie....and who somehow can keep Riny and Gowerboy separate but wonders why Riny can't keep me and Gowerboy separate??? Hmmmm ) Wishing you happiness Misty
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4/24/2007 10:15 pm |
PS I'm so much cuter than Gowerboy too!! Wishing you happiness Misty
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4/25/2007 6:35 am |
Happy Birthday fellow taurus ! Would love to hear some of your real life stories.
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4/25/2007 9:19 am |
Happy Birthday Gowerboy Your dodo bird It's nice to be insane when No one is looking 
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4/25/2007 10:35 am |
Hey now, what the...who's sweetie...? Riny...pssssst...Riny...Misty's going to be having that "talk" with you...if I were you I'd start looking for more spare body parts... Misty, you are undoubtedly cuter than me...go easy on Riny, he seems confused. Missyhex, put some clothes on dearie, for heaven's sakes...summer's not here yet, you'll catch your death. el67 (that's not your age is it?) one thing my life with the lemurs taught me was never to make bets with girls named Alice when there are needles and ink around and never ever joke about a woman's age (I never said I learned the lesson first time). Muse, thanks for popping by...it's true...um..well...it's loosely based on...um...ok, it's a tissue of lies...or is it?? Flame, happy birthday to you too...Me? write real stuff, when I can hide behind poems and fantasy? Maybe... Poetdancer, you found my dodo?? Where?!!
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4/25/2007 12:44 pm |
Not sure how I missed this, but happy belated birthday to you
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4/26/2007 3:35 am |
Not sure how I missed this, but happy belated birthday to you
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4/28/2007 5:13 pm |
i know im late. but happy birthday
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4/29/2007 1:46 pm |
i know im late. but happy birthday Thanks, belle
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