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WHAT A CHILD SEES.......... NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat... "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt! HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle." MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room... When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?" ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4- year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. The various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!" DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning." DEATH While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently, his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his Father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaather, and unto the Sonnn .. and into the hole he goes." SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!" BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered... "I think it's Adam's underwear!" Enjoy the ride. All you take with you when you leave is the experience. |
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5/26/2008 4:53 pm |
thanks for the giggle... Wishing you happiness Misty
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5/26/2008 4:56 pm |
hello mrT, these really made my day! "...hole he goes."  thsnks, peace. i'll scratch your back...thats it.
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5/26/2008 4:57 pm |
 ....hilarious. "It's magic when two people fall in love." 
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5/26/2008 4:58 pm |
oh , did i just say mrT so sorry about that Sir T.  peace. i'll scratch your back...thats it.
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 5/26/2008 5:42 pm |
 Adams' underwear! My mother used to have those in her Bible  now I know her secret 
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5/26/2008 6:06 pm |
 You're making me an insomniac this ungodly o'clock. Thanks for the giggles.Treat me with respect and I'll treat you the same
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5/26/2008 6:29 pm |
see what u did? m cracking up here..lol people in the office might think m getting mental but who cares!! i surely need this after my morning experience on the road here in China.. find time to read my blog..  thanks you Sir_T for making my day!! luv to see more of this in my morning here.. take care and thanks for the update about that Colorado tornado..  daph JuSt An OrDiNaRy GiRl WiTh XtRa OrDiNaRy DrEaMs! 
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 5/26/2008 6:51 pm |
Oh James these were just too funny! Thank you for the medicine. I can totally identify with the parents note being sent to school! I have one of those children myself!... Michelle 
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5/26/2008 7:37 pm |
 ROFLMCTOjust things that run through annie's little mind 
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5/27/2008 12:04 am |
That little girl in school sounded just like me back in Kindergarten. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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5/27/2008 7:21 am |
Just thought I'd say hey............. As a mom and a former preschool teacher I know first hand how honest and blunt the wee ones can be. Too bad they become secretive as they get older! How's Joanie? E-mail if you have a chance. hugs((((()))) tf live life with truth, hope, dignity and love
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5/27/2008 10:06 am |
Thanks for the giggles. I love the idea of sending the note to the teacher
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5/28/2008 10:26 am |
ROFLMAO, those are hilarious! Adam's knickers indeed! In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/28/2008 9:49 pm |
hey Sir_T..  just wondering where you are.. hope ur doing well.. miss the laugh.. so i thot wud remind u the we need more of ur funny stuff!! see you around.. JuSt An OrDiNaRy GiRl WiTh XtRa OrDiNaRy DrEaMs!
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5/29/2008 4:46 pm |
very funny. Thank you for the laugh
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5/31/2008 6:51 am |
I nearly fell off my chair while reading your jokes, James. The Honesty one reminds me of a Korean sitcom, same thing happened to the toothbrush. Kids are so naive and lovely! Agnes
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6/6/2008 7:26 am |
these words are priceless...outta the mouths of babes surely is honetly priceless entertainment. I can recall my baby boy one day in Kmart when we had to buy him an emergency pair of shoes on a trip to the orange bowl parade down in Miami, Fla. after he had gone rock climbing by tying a rope on the end of a pals trailer on the lake where the movie 'something about mary was filmed' that boy was and is so creative like that and not at all afraid of anyone or of anything I was flipping b/c he was flipping b/c when he was little he had a fetish where he had to have the line across the toes of his socks perfectly and we were in a rush and he was throwing a fit til he saw the sales lady and told her calmly "my mom has flashbacks" I must confess, I only took that kid shoe shopping in emergencies otherwise my mother did it for me b/c his sock fitting drove me nuts! Make luv & war will be extinct! Stop the hate!
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6/13/2008 1:56 am |
I love the honesty of children. But sometimes it can be so embarrassing. My little one told my friend who came over for afternoon tea "I want you to go home now, because you make the room so dark and I don't want to go to bed yet". I must note here that my friend is African, and my daughter's bedtime is when it gets dark. Thanks for the laffs Sir If you love someone, set them free 
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