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Ari_fairy
7/13/2008 3:59 pm |
I recently began getting the newspaper again. I really couldn't care less about the newspaper because it so rarely has any real news in it....but I thought I'd give it a try and see if anything has changed in their format. It hasn't...but I have actually been taking a few minutes to read it. Sometimes I need an excuse to take a break. I left half the paper laying on the floor beside my chair today so I could go do some work and come back to read a bit more. I forgot that when I let the dogs in. The puppy is an interesting challenge. If it's on the floor....it's fair game. She shredded the other half of my paper. It jumped up and swatted her on the nose. Perhaps she'll learn that papers and shoes don't like to be chewed on. In the process of cleaning up the paper...I happened to glance at a comic. I don't know what comic it was...but it really made me think. It was a couple driving away from a wedding with the words, "Pacified Our Parents" written on the back of the vehicle. I have to wonder if that's what marriage has come to. I don't believe much in marriage these days. It doesn't really mean everything you commit to one another...they seem to be just words we mouth and afterwards...the real us comes out. That's not exactly fair....but when you think of it from the perspective of a really unhappy marriage....it can be. I look at the teenagers around here and see young couples eager to be married and start families. I often wonder just how much they understand about one another...let alone about the commitment of marriage. I didn't know anything about it when I got married. Heck...I think it was just a way to ensure I had a place in life. Sometimes I think that I would never get married again. I'm not sure that's true...but before I did..I'd have to feel sure that the commitment was real on both sides. Marriage is truly an ultimate commitment...in my view. We commit to work together to build something successful, happy...and very real. We commit that even when life is hard...we will hold tight to one another and guide each other through it. We commit to be only with that one person for the rest of our days...even when we really don't want to talk to them for a day or two. It isn't just a commitment made within marriage...it can be made outside of marriage and be just as valid...but making it within a marriage seems to me...to indicate a deeper sense of commitment...of acknowledgement...and it certainly lets the world know that we've made that commitment. Why bother to be married to pacify anyone? Is that truly what it's all about...to make your parents feel better about your relationship? Whose relationship is it? If you are old enough to be married...you are old enough to walk your own path...and deal with the consequences of your choices. I can't imagine choosing to bind myself to another....if I didn't deep down believe that they were the right person....and that I wanted to be walking by their side fifty years from now. When I got married...I had all of that in mind. This is forever...are you sure? Heck no, I wasn't sure. I grew up Roman Catholic and I believed fully in the sanctity of marriage. Time has changed my viewpoints on that...a very unpleasant marriage changed them more. I don't disbelieve in marriage today....but I do think that people have interfered in the meaning of it...that we have made divorce so easy we have diminished any value in making that lifelong commitment. We hedge our bets...."I promise to love, honor, and cherish you....as long as you don't make me mad....and if you make me mad...I promise to get a divorce." Ok...it's not that simplistic...but it's not far off, either. Are we on a road to eliminating any kind of lasting commitment between two people? Is there really any deeper meaning to the concept of marriage...or are those only words we say? Can two people commit...willingly and joyfully...to the idea of loving and supporting one another for all the years they have remaining? Or are we only fooling ourselves and creating a show to make ourselves feel....committed? I'm not really sure of the answers...but something in everything I've thought about today tells me that....if the circumstances were right...if the man was right...if I really believed I wanted to have him by my side forever....and to stand by his....I would do it again. But....if I had any doubt at all.....it's not a step I'd want to take...because to me...it's still a forever deal...as silly as that may seem. What about you? Would you? Do you even believe in the concept? What does marriage mean...to you? Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari 
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7/13/2008 4:36 pm |
When we were just living together, my daughter attended a private Christian school, they really treated me distantly, and held a meeting where we were questioned about "living in sin." I believed them...and I wanted my daughter to be whole and accepted into her school. I wanted to be whole and accepted.
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7/13/2008 5:30 pm |
I was sitting talking to someone a while bad, she mentioned someone we both know was getting married. I commented that I didn't think she would ever get married (she has problems committing to one person). The gal I was talking to said 'Oh well if it doesn't work they can just get divorced.' Wow that kind of attitude shocked me! If both people involved aren't both truly in love and committed then why bother getting married?? As far as myself, been there done that and not looking for marriage again. I can't say I will NEVER marry again but at this point it isn't something that interests me.
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7/13/2008 6:35 pm |
Unfortunately that's the general consensus among a lot of young people these days. I myself waited until I was 28 until I got married...and while he was a great man, the marriage didn't even see 4 years. I often wonder if we didn't get married would it have ended the same way? No way to tell, but I do know that I honestly don't think I will ever get married again.
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7/13/2008 6:48 pm |
I too have seen many young couples, mostly early 20-somethings, meet and marry in record time, less than a year. I wonder too, as you mention here, what they really know about one another. One young woman at work, who met her husband in December and married him in May commented that they had a lot to learn about one another. Now I don't think you can learn all that's possible no matter how much time you spend together before marrying. But you better believe that if I'm to walk down the aisle again, it will be after some time of getting to know one another. It will also be the last time. I'm not as likely to go into it lightly like I did before. It will be with full intent to not just commit, but also devote my life to another.
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