 | Blogs > Ari_fairy > Ari-Wood > I Saw Forever |
|
|||
|
Did I wake you as I left your arms and, gathering a blanket, wrapped it round me? Did you wonder where I went so soon after having found that place where everything and nothing converge and all that is revolves around us in swirling emotion? I hungered still for your touch, you know, and in the hungering, knew there was much to consider for myself. Moving quietly so as not to disturb you, I walked to the back door and stepped out. So hot the night air felt against my skin and, in the blanket, I was soon uncomfortable. There were no witnesses to the moment when I removed it and stood exposed to the barely moving breeze. It carried no relief from the heat. I did not sit upon a chair nor lay upon the hammock, but stood silently between the posts supporting the roof. I watched the stars perform their nightly dance as my thoughts spun out from my mind and traveled to the place where you had left me. Your arms always hold me close as I descend from the heights we have explored together. Yet slowly, as you drift into sleep, I find I cannot follow you into that place; hold tight your hand though I may, still my thoughts are agile acrobats flying through the emptiness of a slowing heartbeat. Like all women, I wish that I could see your dreams and know what part I play in them. As you leave the comfort of my body, do you still remember the touch or do you float along an amber cloud of your own imagining? Although we would never admit to the flaw, still....we are greedy. I lay silently in the darkness wishing you would tell me what you feel...what you think...what you need of me...and when you remain mute...I find my own words crumbling like so much burnt ashes in my mouth. Words I long to let spill like rippling water from laughing lips....and as they fade away into forgotten longings, my heart is sliced a little deeper. Take one more ribbon from the left ventricle. Have you felt the ebb and flow of hope as days pass and still...only silence except for the rapid beating of your heart as your dreams touch mine and we spin away into eternity. I saw forever yesterday as I drove along the highway and witnessed the endless procession of canyonlands along the Utah landscape. They spilled from one into another as if poured unfinished from the pitcher of life. It took my breath away to look upon the distances encompassed and realize that in all my days I could only hope to live a life as twisted with chance as those canyons. Chance is the carrier of opportunity. Was it chance that you peeked into my world and found a word that echoed through you as if whispered from the edge of a far cliff? Was it chance that you reached out a hand and touched a heart? Was it chance that brought opportunity knocking at two doors? What measure do we use to gauge opportunity? What value has it in this world so intertwined with hope...and disbelief? Was it chance? What merit is there in the heart that hopes, endlessly, hungrily, for all that lays open before it as if served upon a bed of well washed lettuce. Such a tasty treat your fingers long to simply capture it and bring it to your lips. Is it a gift or yet a meal? How will you touch the stars you feel within the chambers in your hands....a moment from the dance you cannot pause...but only wonder....shall I hold it gently with a kiss or taste fully from her lips...a single bite...it will not hurt...I promise you...no one will harm you...let me have this taste. And so she wanders from the room, legs barely supporting her as her breast weeps scarlet tears from hollow teeth-marks embedded in her skin. You are aghast at what you've done, it isn't so...it couldn't be...and in the mirror....now you see her blood drips lazily from lips that curve in laughter. It could not be. No, never would you harm another willingly, but as you wipe the stain from off your face you wonder...was that pleasure on her face? Perhaps her needs misundersttod....perhaps the pain spins into good....until she falls before your feet and you behold a piece of wood. It's all that's left of what she held for you...a doll you could not stand to view stand proud before another. Much better if she waits until you've drunk your fill. Ah chance....perhaps you will. A thread woven into a tapestry. A tale told in one's own head...and now we see the way a simple longing can become...a fear...a question...I wonder what he means, I wonder what he needs, I wonder if he knows....a trusting heart the gift given when one waltzes round the room and yet the gift becomes a prison when her hope resounds too soon. And silence echoes as choices are made...the path to take, the road to walk, the gift of silence...and of talk....and in the end...it all becomes an endless chain.... This one I'll own, that one I'll love...and still I wonder...as the stars die away and soon will bring another day...what does it take to feed my heart...and will the questions soon depart? I sit down upon the chair and listen quietly to the sound of clothes tumbling through the dryer, the soft humm of the swamp cooler, and the tiny tapping of fingers upon keys....and in the essence of all that is and has been....no more do thoughts matter, no more do fears control... One gift I have to give...and in the end...that gift is all. I give it freely. Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari 
|
||
6/25/2008 4:45 am |
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL...NO NEED FOR ME TO SAY ANY MORE! 
| ||
 6/25/2008 7:45 pm |
For someone who is so adept with numbers, you sure have a way with words. Would that I could put my thoughts down half as well. Enjoy the ride. All you take with you when you leave is the experience.
| ||
6/25/2008 10:03 pm |
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL...NO NEED FOR ME TO SAY ANY MORE! Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari
| ||
6/25/2008 10:04 pm |
For someone who is so adept with numbers, you sure have a way with words. Would that I could put my thoughts down half as well. Love and hugs to you and Joanie. Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari
| ||
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
