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 | Blogs > Ari_fairy > Ari-Wood > My Way |
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Have you considered the concept...that you can do anything you want to do? It's been in my mind for several weeks now....and I've taken advantage of some of the actual benefits of it...but I'm not sure I really fully internalized what that means until a conversation I had with Kelly last night...and a conversation I had with Flo tonight. My ex often felt that he had no voice in how things were done in my house. In some regards...that was true. I wouldn't let him put his die cast cars all over my living room...which is decorated with american indian pieces (mostly NOT genuine...since I really can't afford them)...and eagles. But...I also felt I had no freedom to choose...because a choice he didn't agree with resulted in an argument...a fight...at any rate...the knowledge that there would be a serious price to pay for doing it my way. A week ago, I asked my sister to walk through the house with me and tell me what tasks were the highest priority. She was pretty huffy when she told me I needed to just get the front porch done....and finish everything Mer had started but not finished...and don't touch remodeling that bathroom. I really thought she'd be more concerned about the water damage in the bathrooms...but ok. I've been a little frustrated with the idea that my family continually calls or comes by to tell me what I need to do in what order. Bite me, baby. Sometimes I want to just say...back off...let me do it my way. Tonight...I got to thinking about what I'm doing. I'm listening to each one of them...considering what they say...and continuing to plan things exactly as I want it. Sure...I started with the front porch...with the nice weather I could finally get out there and move all the garbage piled up on it...and begin finishing it. The job is time sensitive since we have such a short warm season. But....when the weather turns....I'm going to tile my other kitchen counter....rip out my entry way and fix it...and if there's enough time prior to next summer....start on the back bathroom. Ok...maybe I really can't handle it all alone. So what? I can hire someone to change the plumbing...assuming it can be changed...cause it's gonna suck if I can't do the bathroom as I have it planned....the rest? Heck...it's not hard to hang drywall. It's a pain in the butt to sand it, though. I might want to hire someone to tape, mud, and texture it. It can't be that terriby expensive in such a small room. Realistically....I think I'm doing this the smart way....I listen to people....try not to say the wrong thing...and then go do....what I was going to do to begin with...unless somehow I've been convinced that my plan has a flaw. This is my time for me; my time to choose...what I want....how I want it...when I want it....my priorities. It's important to me to be able to walk in my house and see it taking shape. The entry way is not such a big renovation....it's primarily demolition, drywall, and tiling. But the sense of accomplishment it would give me to have a finished room....the satisfaction of walking into the house and seeing it opened up and looking great...personally...I think that's priceless. Feel the passion, walk in peace, live in love....Ari 
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 5/19/2008 11:50 pm |
priceless  have a good day thanks for reading and as per Dave Allen "May your God go with you"
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5/20/2008 1:37 am |
Yeah priceless 
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5/20/2008 3:00 am |
I am sure that they all have good intentions You seem conditioned to react a certain way. Could it be that you are re or un conditioning yourself a little at a time each day? When someone lives a certain way for a very long time and then everything changes overnight. They tend to still react to things in the same manner as before. Then slowly they begin to realize that they don't have to be like that anymore. The choice is theirs and theirs alone to make now. It's both empowering and frightening. Perhaps even exhilarating, if you think about it. Being a little intimidated or fearful of making a bad decision or a wrong decision is everyone's fear. I fear it That is why I listen to advice and make the most inform decisions that I can make. In the end I do things my way, because for now, I am the one I have to please and live with. The biggest single change that I had to make, immediately after my separation and then divorce was to relearn how to care for just myself. Odd feeling! It was always kids and Wife first and for 22 years and then suddenly it was just me. I have to retrain my brain, lol. I get the whole kinda gut feeling thing though, I do. I hope that they are telling you what to do, because they want the very best for you and not because they think you can't make a wise decision one your own. If it were me, I would suggest something and then be content with your decision, because that is what friends do You are a smart lady and if you want the purple curtains with the orange walls then dam it you shall have them!!! lmao Bill Standplatz und liefert
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5/20/2008 5:50 am |
good morning stink--reading this and knowing you and being the other end of our chats--hmm--the only thing i would ever tell you besides lay off that beer junk and eat correctly oh and perhaps wear shoes when shoveling and get over the bite me thing i keep telling you i have not had my shots yet--when we chat stink much takes place within our chats--heck half the time one would need a map or a directory to keep up with all that is said --yet through it all one thing comes through--simple really--not much stink can not do once her mind is made up and even when it is not--for the path of discovery and growing you are upon and you know what stink you are an amazing soul this you know--just perhaps need a reminder from time to time--we all do--be good to you and no more beer crap with lime whatever and salt something or another--oh you matter to me-just as you matter to many and yet the one and only person you will always matter to the most is quite simply the one i call stink--oh that would be you --- be good to you--and have fun in the process-- hugs always and a boot in the dopa when needed love me
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5/20/2008 6:03 am |
hi ari, it just sounds to me like you are having an open mind, listening to considerations, and doing what you think will be best for you. I am all for hire someone to do what you can't. their knowledge about their particular craft is their key. anything can be done, but how much are you willing to pay!!!!!  (as in the bathroom is small...how much could that be???) sometimes the smallest jobs are the most difficult. but I think you are doing a great job, so hang in there! mark.
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