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 | Blogs > Sweetnsassygurl > Sweetnsassy's Haven > Players...intentional? |
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Sweetnsassygurl
4/15/2008 8:23 pm |
Players, they are online, as well as in real life. Lying, cheating, playing games its part of their days. Manipulation. Pretending to be someone their not. Why do people do this? How can people intentionally hurt others? Do they care so little about others? What attracts a player to certain people? Can they sense low self esteem? Do they choose those who have issues/problems in life? Maybe those that are more open and honest make better victims? So many questions. So little understanding of how people can be intentionally cruel. Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you for reading. Take care!   
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4/15/2008 8:34 pm |
I tend not to get caught up in the drama of internet chatting. People can type anything when they are behind a computer. I think logically and not with my heart when it comes to chatting. Life loves me. I am living happily ever after.
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4/15/2008 8:40 pm |
hello Sweety . thanks for stoping by . talk about players . i feel it is verry rong for this to be going on . i have been open and honest with everyone i visit here and that are in my friends list . i try to write something positave everyday . latly i havent felt up to it becouse all my FRIENDS seem to be ignoring me for some reason . i really dont understand . i have been here for all of them but when i needed them no one is here . i wont beg them to listen . thank you for letting me rant a bit . i am sorry i did it here . but that is what i think of players . PEACE and LOVE always
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4/15/2008 8:49 pm |
I think that people need to remember that online is just like a giant bar or party. There are people at the bar or party who are sweet, honest and sexy and there are people at the bar who are users, losers and liars. Online is just an extension of society. People cast caution to the wind and blab out the intimate details of their lives and feelings to nearly total strangers. There is a feature here on FF called Veri-sign. If you go through it, it verifies that you are a real person who is the age, gender and location listed.
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4/15/2008 8:59 pm |
I tend not to get caught up in the drama of internet chatting. People can type anything when they are behind a computer. I think logically and not with my heart when it comes to chatting.
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4/15/2008 8:59 pm |
Yes...hard to believe but there are human beings out there who care very little for others.... And there are victims out there who constantly fall for them... It's not openness and honesty that attract players, but desperation and neediness. There are people who are flattered by any sort of attention and mistake flattery for sincerity. I've seen it in 3D and I've seen it here. There is a wonderful episode on Buffy the Vampire Slayer about a player...who manipulates women into sleeping with him, and then he drops them. He has "sincerity" down to an art form--appearing to be vulnerable and sensitive when it's all just an act. Well worth watching. Wishing you happiness Misty
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4/15/2008 9:00 pm |
I was taken by a player once upon a time, and I don't think he looked for victims, but people like I was then - unsure of myself, ripe for being taken advantage of - are attracted to those who seem to have everything to offer. It's a terrible, awful thing for someone, male or female, to pray on another's emotions and weaknesses. But it does run two ways, and if you guard yourself against being taken too easily, the players out there won't spend much time on you. We can do nothing to get rid of players, but we can certainly learn to recognize them and stay away.
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4/15/2008 9:01 pm |
hello Sweety . thanks for stoping by . talk about players . i feel it is verry rong for this to be going on . i have been open and honest with everyone i visit here and that are in my friends list . i try to write something positave everyday . latly i havent felt up to it becouse all my FRIENDS seem to be ignoring me for some reason . i really dont understand . i have been here for all of them but when i needed them no one is here . i wont beg them to listen . thank you for letting me rant a bit . i am sorry i did it here . but that is what i think of players . PEACE and LOVE always Hmmm maybe your friends aren't ignoring you but are busy? I am not sure I haven't been around much lately. I did notice Nancy gone again? Hope your spirits rise and no worries about what you wrote...it's all good! Take care...smile!
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4/15/2008 9:07 pm |
I think that people need to remember that online is just like a giant bar or party. There are people at the bar or party who are sweet, honest and sexy and there are people at the bar who are users, losers and liars. Online is just an extension of society. People cast caution to the wind and blab out the intimate details of their lives and feelings to nearly total strangers. There is a feature here on FF called Veri-sign. If you go through it, it verifies that you are a real person who is the age, gender and location listed. People cast caution to the wind and blab out the intimate details of their lives and feelings to nearly total strangers This is what I was wondering...doing this might encourage a player to pursue these people? Casting caution to the wind is letting ones guard down (at least I think so).
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4/15/2008 9:09 pm |
Yes...hard to believe but there are human beings out there who care very little for others.... And there are victims out there who constantly fall for them... It's not openness and honesty that attract players, but desperation and neediness. There are people who are flattered by any sort of attention and mistake flattery for sincerity. I've seen it in 3D and I've seen it here. There is a wonderful episode on Buffy the Vampire Slayer about a player...who manipulates women into sleeping with him, and then he drops them. He has "sincerity" down to an art form--appearing to be vulnerable and sensitive when it's all just an act. Well worth watching.
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4/15/2008 9:12 pm |
I was taken by a player once upon a time, and I don't think he looked for victims, but people like I was then - unsure of myself, ripe for being taken advantage of - are attracted to those who seem to have everything to offer. It's a terrible, awful thing for someone, male or female, to pray on another's emotions and weaknesses. But it does run two ways, and if you guard yourself against being taken too easily, the players out there won't spend much time on you. We can do nothing to get rid of players, but we can certainly learn to recognize them and stay away.
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4/15/2008 9:29 pm |
Hey Cindy, Why do they do it? I think because they can. I've seen it happen. The thing is, nobody wants to admit that they are being played. Maybe if more people said, hmmm, something is odd that this person has 2 profiles and carries on conversations with himself. That just doesn't seem normal. Hope you're not being played. I think I was played not too long ago on here, but now that I know, I know who to watch out for. (There is more than one way to be played)
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4/15/2008 9:45 pm |
Really players are just another form of a con-artist. They are out to get something out of someone else by gaining their confidence. Con-men (and women) get away with cheating people because they seem genuine, honest, real, fun, beautiful or handsome. They tell someone who is need of hearing it, how handsome, beautiful, smart, creative or talented they are. There are women players out there too, not just men although most people assume it's mostly men trying to take advantage of women. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been told that someone really loves me or wants to be with me and then asks me to send them money. LOL I feel especially sorry for extremely lonely and gullible people who fall for the cheesiest and stupidest lines. I've had women tell me they love me based on 10 minute conversations and the sharing of a couple photos. Give me a freaking break
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 4/15/2008 9:52 pm |
What attracts a player to certain people? Have you heard of chumming? Players (men or women) don't necessarily set their sights on a specific individual. They cast out a lot of bait and wait for the nibbles. Some are legitimately interested in the person they are pursuing. They just are pursuing a lot of people. How can people intentionally hurt others? Not all players are trying to be cruel. Most don't even consider that angle because they only think of themselves. It is like a game to them. The victims they hurt are just properties on a monopoly board. They also get a kind of thrill trying to avoid getting caught. Enjoy the ride. All you take with you when you leave is the experience.
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4/15/2008 10:11 pm |
Hey Cindy, Why do they do it? I think because they can. I've seen it happen. The thing is, nobody wants to admit that they are being played. Maybe if more people said, hmmm, something is odd that this person has 2 profiles and carries on conversations with himself. That just doesn't seem normal. Hope you're not being played. I think I was played not too long ago on here, but now that I know, I know who to watch out for. (There is more than one way to be played) The thing is, nobody wants to admit that they are being played. Listening to the 'red flags' right from the start would avoid the playing. Having to admit to being played would require admitting to ignoring the signs, then questioning oneself as to why. No I am not being played, I am not online very often or have much free time in the real world to be played!  I was just wondering...trying to piece together 'the player'. Hope your feeling better soon and thanks for stopping in!
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4/15/2008 10:17 pm |
Really players are just another form of a con-artist. They are out to get something out of someone else by gaining their confidence. Con-men (and women) get away with cheating people because they seem genuine, honest, real, fun, beautiful or handsome. They tell someone who is need of hearing it, how handsome, beautiful, smart, creative or talented they are. There are women players out there too, not just men although most people assume it's mostly men trying to take advantage of women. You wouldn't believe how many times I've been told that someone really loves me or wants to be with me and then asks me to send them money. LOL I feel especially sorry for extremely lonely and gullible people who fall for the cheesiest and stupidest lines. I've had women tell me they love me based on 10 minute conversations and the sharing of a couple photos. Give me a freaking break I agree players are not just men, there are plenty of women out there doing it as well. Gotta giggle at them ones that are in love in a few minutes and yelling out soulmate. Yeah alrighty then! 
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4/15/2008 10:23 pm |
One person's definition of a "player" may be different from someone else's definition. I consider a player to be a person who manipulates, misrepresents and lies for their own selfish purposes. They may or may not even have a false identity and be pretending to be someone they are not in terms of age, location, marital status and yes even possibly gender. I once had a woman trying to scam me that turned out to not be a woman but a man who was using a picture of an attractive woman. To me the term "player" is a perjorative term equated with deceitful liar and user. But also to me a person who doesn't misrepresent themself but also doesn't pretend to want to get married and wants to date around is not really a player. Yet there are some who lump honest people whose goals they don't agree with or approve of as "players" which is unfair. It's one thing to lie, cheat, misrepresent and hurt, but it's another just not to have the same goals or desires as someone else.
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4/15/2008 10:26 pm |
What attracts a player to certain people? Have you heard of chumming? Players (men or women) don't necessarily set their sights on a specific individual. They cast out a lot of bait and wait for the nibbles. Some are legitimately interested in the person they are pursuing. They just are pursuing a lot of people. How can people intentionally hurt others? Not all players are trying to be cruel. Most don't even consider that angle because they only think of themselves. It is like a game to them. The victims they hurt are just properties on a monopoly board. They also get a kind of thrill trying to avoid getting caught. I can see this from an online point of view, but real life it would be harder? (Sorry my brain is sleeping, might make more sense in the morning) Not all players are trying to be cruel. Most don't even consider that angle because they only think of themselves. It is like a game to them. The victims they hurt are just properties on a monopoly board. They also get a kind of thrill trying to avoid getting caught. This makes sense. They are selfish so don't think of others. Adrenaline rush, trying not to get caught. Thank you for your input! It's always nice to have males views on things.
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4/15/2008 10:34 pm |
One person's definition of a "player" may be different from someone else's definition. I consider a player to be a person who manipulates, misrepresents and lies for their own selfish purposes. They may or may not even have a false identity and be pretending to be someone they are not in terms of age, location, marital status and yes even possibly gender. I once had a woman trying to scam me that turned out to not be a woman but a man who was using a picture of an attractive woman. To me the term "player" is a perjorative term equated with deceitful liar and user. But also to me a person who doesn't misrepresent themself but also doesn't pretend to want to get married and wants to date around is not really a player. Yet there are some who lump honest people whose goals they don't agree with or approve of as "players" which is unfair. It's one thing to lie, cheat, misrepresent and hurt, but it's another just not to have the same goals or desires as someone else. Pretending to want a commitment when their actual intent is to date around....that would be deceitful and wrong.
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4/15/2008 10:45 pm |
Let's face it what we're really talking about are selfish egotistical types be they men or women who manipulate, lie, misrepresent and hurt others for their own self gratification.
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4/15/2008 10:46 pm |
players are sick individuals. they are digital narcissistic who love no one but themselves   Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional
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 4/16/2008 12:45 am |
Hi cindy, i call them "buang"  lolsmile and be happy always
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4/16/2008 12:50 am |
I think there are cases when players are mentally and emotionally troubled people which makes them "sick individuals", as Royalpurple says. They're not always intentional players and they cannot comprehend they have acted wrong, just because of their state of mind. Most often they're depressive and weak personals, and weakness leads to meanness, as I wrote in "Some Thoughts of Mine " They describe themselves in an unhappy situation which makes kind-hearted and compassionate people to nibble the bait as James says. "Players" need the love, strength and empathy of their "victims", they're too weak to live alone, and offer them love, too, but they cannot live up to their words and eventually let down their "partners". Does this make sense ? SL Keep love in your heart ! SL
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4/16/2008 12:52 am |
Well, for my part, i have low self esteem, which is why i was attracted to scott as he seemed to be the same...two needy individuals coming together..how stupid was i, will i learn from it..???...i hope so...but probably not...
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4/16/2008 11:08 am |
Let's face it what we're really talking about are selfish egotistical types be they men or women who manipulate, lie, misrepresent and hurt others for their own self gratification.
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4/16/2008 11:09 am |
players are sick individuals. they are digital narcissistic who love no one but themselves /:>
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4/16/2008 11:10 am |
Hi cindy, i call them "buang" lol
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4/16/2008 11:19 am |
I think there are cases when players are mentally and emotionally troubled people which makes them "sick individuals", as Royalpurple says. They're not always intentional players and they cannot comprehend they have acted wrong, just because of their state of mind. Most often they're depressive and weak personals, and weakness leads to meanness, as I wrote in "Some Thoughts of Mine " They describe themselves in an unhappy situation which makes kind-hearted and compassionate people to nibble the bait as James says. "Players" need the love, strength and empathy of their "victims", they're too weak to live alone, and offer them love, too, but they cannot live up to their words and eventually let down their "partners". Does this make sense ? SL I remember befriending (in a non romantic way...friendship only) someone here who I thought was a genuine individual only to find he was a fake. It took a long time to put the pieces together. The betrayal I felt at that time when I found out was deep but only lasted for a short while because this person wasn't worth my time and energy. I chose to focus on other things rather than be down because of someones lies and deceit. Lesson learned, not everyone is as they seem...never be too trusting.
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4/16/2008 11:24 am |
Well, for my part, i have low self esteem, which is why i was attracted to scott as he seemed to be the same...two needy individuals coming together..how stupid was i, will i learn from it..???...i hope so...but probably not... I hope you heal quickly from all thats happened over recent times. Take care of YOU!
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4/16/2008 2:57 pm |
I came to FF to shed light on this very subject. Any words typed here are just words, often without any verification. I knew first hand because it was my my ex using his deluded misrepresentation of our marriage and our divorce as a 'poor me' victim to entice empathy and affection from women. Though he's not a predator intending to do harm, he was/is looking for validation as a 'victim' though that's far from reality. It worked though and he got the attention he craves. His issues are deep seeded but well before our marriage. Unfortunately, he got involved with someone based on a foundation of lies. I'm sorry for any pain that was caused by my truth. This situation is probably less common than others where the sole intent is to 'take whatever they can get' from someone. But the human mind and our personalities are complex in both good and bad ways. So always proceed with caution. Check anyone out if you are going to do anything more than type on a page! stay well, tf live life with truth, hope, dignity and love
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4/16/2008 6:09 pm |
Hmmm Belle I am not sure I should ask what a "buang" is. light on the matter, may i have the honor to translate that Visayan word for you. buang, means, crazy or mentally sick. Growing old is inevitable. Growing up is optional
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4/16/2008 7:26 pm |
since belle isn't here yet to shed light on the matter, may i have the honor to translate that Visayan word for you. buang, means, crazy or mentally sick.
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4/16/2008 8:22 pm |
I came to FF to shed light on this very subject. Any words typed here are just words, often without any verification. I knew first hand because it was my my ex using his deluded misrepresentation of our marriage and our divorce as a 'poor me' victim to entice empathy and affection from women. Though he's not a predator intending to do harm, he was/is looking for validation as a 'victim' though that's far from reality. It worked though and he got the attention he craves. His issues are deep seeded but well before our marriage. Unfortunately, he got involved with someone based on a foundation of lies. I'm sorry for any pain that was caused by my truth. This situation is probably less common than others where the sole intent is to 'take whatever they can get' from someone. But the human mind and our personalities are complex in both good and bad ways. So always proceed with caution. Check anyone out if you are going to do anything more than type on a page! stay well, tf It took me quite a while to piece together who your ex was. Intuition slapped me up side the head one day and the pieces fell into place.  Sorry for all that you have had to go through.Thanks for dropping in and sharing your views. Take care.
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4/16/2008 8:23 pm |
since belle isn't here yet to shed light on the matter, may i have the honor to translate that Visayan word for you. buang, means, crazy or mentally sick. Now I can go around calling people buang and they won't have any idea what I am talking about!
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4/16/2008 8:24 pm |
Ganun? 
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4/17/2008 1:41 am |
Cindy, I'm glad you went ahead and explained your experience with being played by a "friend". Some people think that players are only in the romance department. I have not been played by a man who was wanting me as a girlfriend or anything like that and I just wanted to clear that part up. I am not on here looking for anything other than friends. But you can still be played by emotionally unstable people. Some of them have been popular bloggers and not naming any names, people will still argue that they are nice people, but of course players aren't going to play everyone, are they?
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4/17/2008 2:47 pm |
Yes Lisa I agree with you. Aside from a few males here trying to play games there have been women as well. Funny how they act one way in the blogs but stab ya in the back as soon as you turn around. I haven't got time for fake friends.  If people want to judge me by what others say, well then thats up to them. Playing/players come in many different forms.
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4/18/2008 3:15 am |
in internite thing hard to see who is real and fakers... but not all are fakers there are some few good people that willing to have a good communication and share some laughs
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4/18/2008 5:26 am |
in internite thing hard to see who is real and fakers... but not all are fakers there are some few good people that willing to have a good communication and share some laughs Thank you for stopping in.
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4/18/2008 8:46 am |
This is really a good post.. Good to see you on the blogs once again sweetsassy, we need more members like you here. When you say this.. two things come to mind,"Players, they are online, as well as in real life. Lying, cheating, playing games its part of their days. Manipulation. Pretending to be someone their not. Why do people do this? How can people intentionally hurt others? Do they care so little about others?" Most people now think of players as some who is trying to get someone to date them... but now.. due to the factors of this website not really enforcing their rules here, I am starting to think of players in a different light. Ones who pretend to be your friend, a platonic friend, alone, and keep feeding your lines and making you think you actually acquired a friend, online. They come on your blogs, make all kinds of pleasant comments and just act all nice-nice.... Secretly, like you say, their agenda is totally different from what you would expect it to be. Their agenda is to not be your friend, they just want another "victim". I'm like you, I cannot understand why someone would purposely want to be cruel to someone who has not hurt them or caused them any harm. But the sad fact is sassy, they are now on this website, in droves! i am obviously not the only one to experience this thing on here... I read a new bloggers post.. and this one girl got on there and say.. Oh, no, it's you again! Now.. if i really did not like another blogger, I would just not write on their blog at all, not write something insulting and disrespectful like that. there is a female blogger, man what a liar that girl is.. she claims to be one age, she's a decade older.. on one of her blogs she says she only has one child, another one she says she has 4! Why would a mother pretend to only have one child and then admit to having 4?? Oh, the list goes on and on, but she makes it a point to get on different people's blogs and leave nice comments at first... That is a bully's game plan I suppose... to have a solid base of friends who are going to stick up for them b/c in real life those friends just do not realize what is going on behind the scenes... that particular person is just not nice to everyone. You know. .it is one thing to replace a single guy... it is another to replace 20-40 friends you have had online for years! Suddenly, without warning, the rug is pulled out from under you and they start attacking you for no reason whatsoever, making up stories about you, get all their little cyber-friends to do also, and your world of online friends on that website is destroyed. Well, to me that is a much worse player... If this website keeps up in not enforcing their rules, they are not going to get many paying customers..... I tend to judge people by the company they keep honestly. If i see they are hanging out with peopel who belittle and judge others, then I tend to view their comments with a little grain of salt myself. People can type anything..... but are they consistant with what they say? Gambiteer has a very valid point.. these peopel are all basically total stranger here.. and unless you know them personally, you really do NOT know what you are dealing with. If your general profile says you are new here and you've been here for months, just changed your profile, my mind wonders what else you are going to lie about. If you say you are a classy broad, but describe that on V Day your BF had batteries to him.. to me.. that just ain't classy! I guess, it is difficult on the web, consistency is the key...... If there's smoke, generally there is fire. When do the owners of this site start looking at the complaints people make about others belitting them? It just seems that they are asleep at the wheel.
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4/18/2008 9:02 am |
Rojeli said quite well, in one paragraph, what took me 10! LOL Never was very consise in my writing... Cindy, I'm glad you went ahead and explained your experience with being played by a "friend". Some people think that players are only in the romance department. I have not been played by a man who was wanting me as a girlfriend or anything like that and I just wanted to clear that part up. I am not on here looking for anything other than friends. But you can still be played by emotionally unstable people. Some of them have been popular bloggers and not naming any names, people will still argue that they are nice people, but of course players aren't going to play everyone, are they?" And she brings out a very valid point I keep trying people who are new to the site to see...or who don't realize this is going on. Not all the popular bloggers are nice people at all! By popular bloggers.. .the ones that always seem to go up on the main page. Now. do not twist my words, I do not mean that if you are up on the main page, you are not a nice person.... But there is a whole clique here now.. and some of you might even be friends with these people, as you are only shown their "nice" side. But trust me.. they have a very not niceside to their personality...very sinister and judgemental and hateful. I think Sunlover is right in that aspect... they have a very dark side to their personalities. and their favorite thing it seems to me.. is to get someone as their "victim", not in a romantic sense, but someone they can belittle and make up stories about, and then they will convince everyone that they are the innocent party (when in fact, it was they who started to insult that individual out of the blue who no reason). I see alot of people crying wolf here.. but I am rather amazed at what some people can get away with on here.. simply because they are popular, while the rest of us, woudl not dare or even want to try! I remember this one guy, jiffy.. well, last summer, he wrote the most amazingly hateful post to ALL the women here.. I'm just repeating facts...I'm not gossiping here, this actually ocurred... that is all, but now he acts like he is some patron saint of the ladies here... He obviously had some issue with one of the female bloggers here, but instead of taking it up just with her.. or writing about just here, he had to write this scathing blog on how we women were all stupid.. and all this other horse rot! Well, shocked.. yes.. i was... but was he kicked off.. Nope! Now.. he acts like he's some knight in shining armour cuz he stuck up for one the female bloggers here.. but... trust me.. the blog he wrote was nothing of a "knight in shining armour" type toward all us women bloggers at all! So.. that part of the blogs I just don't get.. there are alot of fakes here.. no one talks about it.. until maybe now.. Well, i have... but then got flamed for bringing up the dark side of the blogs.. but it needs to be discussed, cuz people are getting hurt on this site, and that is just not right!
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4/18/2008 7:30 pm |
This is really a good post.. Good to see you on the blogs once again sweetsassy, we need more members like you here. When you say this.. two things come to mind,"Players, they are online, as well as in real life. Lying, cheating, playing games its part of their days. Manipulation. Pretending to be someone their not. Why do people do this? How can people intentionally hurt others? Do they care so little about others?" Most people now think of players as some who is trying to get someone to date them... but now.. due to the factors of this website not really enforcing their rules here, I am starting to think of players in a different light. Ones who pretend to be your friend, a platonic friend, alone, and keep feeding your lines and making you think you actually acquired a friend, online. They come on your blogs, make all kinds of pleasant comments and just act all nice-nice.... Secretly, like you say, their agenda is totally different from what you would expect it to be. Their agenda is to not be your friend, they just want another "victim". I'm like you, I cannot understand why someone would purposely want to be cruel to someone who has not hurt them or caused them any harm. But the sad fact is sassy, they are now on this website, in droves! i am obviously not the only one to experience this thing on here... I read a new bloggers post.. and this one girl got on there and say.. Oh, no, it's you again! Now.. if i really did not like another blogger, I would just not write on their blog at all, not write something insulting and disrespectful like that. there is a female blogger, man what a liar that girl is.. she claims to be one age, she's a decade older.. on one of her blogs she says she only has one child, another one she says she has 4! Why would a mother pretend to only have one child and then admit to having 4?? Oh, the list goes on and on, but she makes it a point to get on different people's blogs and leave nice comments at first... That is a bully's game plan I suppose... to have a solid base of friends who are going to stick up for them b/c in real life those friends just do not realize what is going on behind the scenes... that particular person is just not nice to everyone. You know. .it is one thing to replace a single guy... it is another to replace 20-40 friends you have had online for years! Suddenly, without warning, the rug is pulled out from under you and they start attacking you for no reason whatsoever, making up stories about you, get all their little cyber-friends to do also, and your world of online friends on that website is destroyed. Well, to me that is a much worse player... If this website keeps up in not enforcing their rules, they are not going to get many paying customers..... I tend to judge people by the company they keep honestly. If i see they are hanging out with peopel who belittle and judge others, then I tend to view their comments with a little grain of salt myself. People can type anything..... but are they consistant with what they say? Gambiteer has a very valid point.. these peopel are all basically total stranger here.. and unless you know them personally, you really do NOT know what you are dealing with. If your general profile says you are new here and you've been here for months, just changed your profile, my mind wonders what else you are going to lie about. If you say you are a classy broad, but describe that on V Day your BF had batteries to him.. to me.. that just ain't classy! I guess, it is difficult on the web, consistency is the key...... If there's smoke, generally there is fire. When do the owners of this site start looking at the complaints people make about others belitting them? It just seems that they are asleep at the wheel. Maybe the drama does draw more people as someone mentioned to me before. Having been here at the blogs for almost 3 years I have seen so many people run off this site. Players, cheaters, liars, groups of people ganging up on others. I just shake my head and think 'KARMA!'
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4/18/2008 7:41 pm |
Rojeli said quite well, in one paragraph, what took me 10! LOL Never was very consise in my writing... Cindy, I'm glad you went ahead and explained your experience with being played by a "friend". Some people think that players are only in the romance department. I have not been played by a man who was wanting me as a girlfriend or anything like that and I just wanted to clear that part up. I am not on here looking for anything other than friends. But you can still be played by emotionally unstable people. Some of them have been popular bloggers and not naming any names, people will still argue that they are nice people, but of course players aren't going to play everyone, are they?" And she brings out a very valid point I keep trying people who are new to the site to see...or who don't realize this is going on. Not all the popular bloggers are nice people at all! By popular bloggers.. .the ones that always seem to go up on the main page. Now. do not twist my words, I do not mean that if you are up on the main page, you are not a nice person.... But there is a whole clique here now.. and some of you might even be friends with these people, as you are only shown their "nice" side. But trust me.. they have a very not niceside to their personality...very sinister and judgemental and hateful. I think Sunlover is right in that aspect... they have a very dark side to their personalities. and their favorite thing it seems to me.. is to get someone as their "victim", not in a romantic sense, but someone they can belittle and make up stories about, and then they will convince everyone that they are the innocent party (when in fact, it was they who started to insult that individual out of the blue who no reason). I see alot of people crying wolf here.. but I am rather amazed at what some people can get away with on here.. simply because they are popular, while the rest of us, woudl not dare or even want to try! I remember this one guy, jiffy.. well, last summer, he wrote the most amazingly hateful post to ALL the women here.. I'm just repeating facts...I'm not gossiping here, this actually ocurred... that is all, but now he acts like he is some patron saint of the ladies here... He obviously had some issue with one of the female bloggers here, but instead of taking it up just with her.. or writing about just here, he had to write this scathing blog on how we women were all stupid.. and all this other horse rot! Well, shocked.. yes.. i was... but was he kicked off.. Nope! Now.. he acts like he's some knight in shining armour cuz he stuck up for one the female bloggers here.. but... trust me.. the blog he wrote was nothing of a "knight in shining armour" type toward all us women bloggers at all! So.. that part of the blogs I just don't get.. there are alot of fakes here.. no one talks about it.. until maybe now.. Well, i have... but then got flamed for bringing up the dark side of the blogs.. but it needs to be discussed, cuz people are getting hurt on this site, and that is just not right! One thing I have learned here in the blogs is some things are not worth fighting over, most things aren't worth the negative energy. Some people view others as weak if they don't stand and fight. I think it takes more self control to walk away and ignore than to stand and argue. Maybe one day FF will get it together and do something on this site to make it a better place for people to communicate. I am not holding my breath though!
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4/19/2008 11:41 pm |
Why thank you sweetsasssygurl. you are the first person to make a nice comment to me in awhile! But gosh.. i guess it is the crusader in me, always trying to see that right is done, and I hate to see people get mistreated... esp on the web, cuz while, yeah.. you may not say anything, in a way, that is just what the bully wants.. to get you so intimidated that you do not say ANYTHING! I've been a long time here too.. over 2 years at LEAST, so I am glad you admit that this is going on.. "LeEnchantress, nice to see you again. Why FF allows this to continue is beyond me. Maybe the drama does draw more people as someone mentioned to me before. Having been here at the blogs for almost 3 years I have seen so many people run off this site. Players, cheaters, liars, groups of people ganging up on others. I just shake my head and think 'KARMA!' ANd what I'm finding out alot of here, is people ganging up on me here, cuz I stand up for myself.. like I'm supposed to feel GUILTY or something for saying I do not want to be treated like garbage on a website that is not supposed to let this happen in the first place! But.. you know.. Penthouse has bought this site out.. I am sure they want more revenue from this site, and if people are being driven away cuz of the trolls, (people who insult ppl and gang up on others).. btw, I wrote a little poll on that very thing.. only to get insulted by the first poster there..LOL, gawd!! 76csub.. man.. i had thought he was a nice guy too! Well.. you just find out who your friends are here.. but honestly I just do NOT remember this place being so hostile here as it is now.. I was just looking at a blog I wrote a year ago.. and everyone had such nice and positive things to say on my blog.... even if it was a silly question. Now i'm hesitant to post ANYTHING, cuz i know the cyber-bullies here are checking out my blogs (u can tell by looking at the little column on the side) and then making nasty rude comments on what I blogged about to their friends! It is so darn stupid, and what.. am I suddenly back in 7th grade??? give me a large break please... (shakes head) It IS so childish, and you are so right and smart to say it's just not worth it... Pretty soon, I do bet things will change.... they have changed already on the other sites they own.. They don't want to advertise this place as a spot to meet frineds and then have ppl come onto the blogs and see nothing but rude hateful posts and people being slammed! Nope... i can guarantee that won't bring in the bank they probably hope to get here... Gosh, though I really miss the bloggers like intphil.. (he was a sweetie) and Smalltown guy.. and I have not seen Jake in so long, where is he??? Our own resident Scottish wee small silly one! His blogs always made me laugh..and that is what to me the blogs should be about....just a friendly place you can express yourself in a nice friendly environment, not trying to impress a bunch of rude jerks! I just wanna have fun.... it's like that Cyndi Lauper song... lately this place AIN'T been much fun, i'm sorry to say, but it is true!
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4/19/2008 11:55 pm |
Well, i just had something really creepy happen. I was reading this post, and this one person claimed I had been ignoring him, because of his background. Truth was, i would always post on this blogs, b/c i found them interesting... So... i get on there, and say, No, i have not ignored you, why do u think that.. did someone tell you to say that? Because people who are bullies like to spread lies, or players do... so that people, like you say, feel sorry for them... well, i say.. i never intended to ignore you, and explain myself very calmly & respectfully. Later he thanked me and wanted my IM, my home e-mail addy and all sort of other personal contact info. He claimed that the person I had thought made up stories about me (and you know what I mean, askimyt, sometimes you just have a gut feeling about something, the way someone words something) he NO LONGER HAD ANY CONTACT WITH WHATSOEVER! So.. i'm looking thru his blogs, and sure enough, like yesterday he's being all gracious and sweet and a bit flirty if you aks me... to the person he claimed he had nothing whatsoever to do with in months! So.. all that stuff about him not speaking to this certain person was a complete lie! Wow.. it is amazing the depth of insincerity people will stoop to keep their story intact!!! But what is creepy, is this guy's family has a very sinister past... i won't say more. .but he wanted SO much PERSONAL info about me..... i had red flags going up, even though I wanted badly to trust him and maintain what I thought was a friendship. well, if you are going to lie like a rug about something, then I'm only going to trust you less, not more. Just be careful out there, there are a ton of players on the internet.. playing all kinds of games... some not serious.. some a whole lot more serious... I really don't trust the internet anymore.. I have met too many imposters and people who claim to be one thing, and then turn out to be complete the opposite! It' is just a way to communicate for me... nothing more really....
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4/20/2008 10:15 am |
Well, i just had something really creepy happen. I was reading this post, and this one person claimed I had been ignoring him, because of his background. Truth was, i would always post on this blogs, b/c i found them interesting... So... i get on there, and say, No, i have not ignored you, why do u think that.. did someone tell you to say that? Because people who are bullies like to spread lies, or players do... so that people, like you say, feel sorry for them... well, i say.. i never intended to ignore you, and explain myself very calmly & respectfully. Later he thanked me and wanted my IM, my home e-mail addy and all sort of other personal contact info. He claimed that the person I had thought made up stories about me (and you know what I mean, askimyt, sometimes you just have a gut feeling about something, the way someone words something) he NO LONGER HAD ANY CONTACT WITH WHATSOEVER! So.. i'm looking thru his blogs, and sure enough, like yesterday he's being all gracious and sweet and a bit flirty if you aks me... to the person he claimed he had nothing whatsoever to do with in months! So.. all that stuff about him not speaking to this certain person was a complete lie! Wow.. it is amazing the depth of insincerity people will stoop to keep their story intact!!! But what is creepy, is this guy's family has a very sinister past... i won't say more. .but he wanted SO much PERSONAL info about me..... i had red flags going up, even though I wanted badly to trust him and maintain what I thought was a friendship. well, if you are going to lie like a rug about something, then I'm only going to trust you less, not more. Just be careful out there, there are a ton of players on the internet.. playing all kinds of games... some not serious.. some a whole lot more serious... I really don't trust the internet anymore.. I have met too many imposters and people who claim to be one thing, and then turn out to be complete the opposite! It' is just a way to communicate for me... nothing more really....  Do you ever have a nice comment to make on anyones blog Just a thought, woe is me really doesn't wash too well here or in the real world. Sorry sassysgirl
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4/22/2008 3:29 pm |
I have been played here myself. I do agree about maybe emotional/mental issues. Always the poor victim of family work etc. Did I fall for it yes, but took awhile to see through lies and deceit. I am not sure if they realize they are doing it but sometimes I think they do. Like someone said they get a lot of people fooled so it looks like they are doing nothing wrong. But lies do catch up with them when they can't keep story straight. In a way I do feel sorry for her, I think people like this are very alone and will be rest of her life.
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4/24/2008 9:37 pm |
I have been played here myself. I do agree about maybe emotional/mental issues. Always the poor victim of family work etc. Did I fall for it yes, but took awhile to see through lies and deceit. I am not sure if they realize they are doing it but sometimes I think they do. Like someone said they get a lot of people fooled so it looks like they are doing nothing wrong. But lies do catch up with them when they can't keep story straight. In a way I do feel sorry for her, I think people like this are very alone and will be rest of her life. Lying requires one to remember all the various stories they tell. One slip up and the game is over. Honesty requires you to remember so there are never any slip ups. I wish you better luck and hopefully the players will stay away.
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5/2/2008 11:34 am |
I know a guy, at my place of work, that was/is a phenomenal player/liar. He spoke and the ladies all swooned over him. In real life, behind that polished veneer, he is a louse! I knew it and so did any thinking man around him. Not that we were jealous or envious, but mostly sickened by his abilities to garner trust and then love from these women by lying to them. Almost at will! Of course the relationships would only last about two weeks, until he got bored, or they began to catch on and then it was on to more fertile ground. His own Mother asked him one day,” how long is this one going to last, two weeks?" Sometimes the relationships would end badly, but most times he magically found a way to get out of them. Lying worked best. He has/had his game plan and his lines well rehearsed to perfection. He could read his quarry well and pick out just what approach would work best for him. Once, I tried to warn one such lady to go slow, but she would not listen, they never do. However, she, for some odd reason, in the end, didn't succumb and reinvested herself in her husband and then quit working there. Ah, the one that got away. Not all his women we single. If he saw a vulnerability he fixated upon it and used that to his advantage to worm his way into their life. One day I asked him point blank, " Why do you play these women and then just walk away?" He quoted that line from that old western,” The magnificent seven". Where Yul Brynner's character asked Eli Wallach's character why does he terrorize his own people? His reply is, " If God didn't want them sheered, he would not have made them sheep". This guy and many players I feel, think in much the same manner. They do what they do because they can! In their minds it is not wrong, but a birth right of sorts. Anyway that's the feeling I get. I thought if they put as much energy into oh say sales, they would be rich men! lol Still, there are those with the gift and there are those that don't. There are posers, fakes and copycats as well. This guy was/is a natural. He still works there and has finally landed his,” BIG FISH". (online I might add) "This one's a keeper", he told me last week. She is moving here from KC and getting a great paying job and he says that he will be quitting then to live off of her. What a guy! He is realizing that age has caught up with him and no amount of charm and wit will get him by forever. It’s time to cash in his chips and get what he can get for himself and live with it. This is his thought process. I would rather live alone forever than live a lie like that. Bill Standplatz und liefert
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5/2/2008 6:58 pm |
This is what I was wondering...if it was intentional. By this guys actions, it sounds like it is. Your reply gives a better idea of a player. Sad some people think it's their right. Thank you so much for sharing this.
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5/4/2008 5:01 pm |
Are we still talking about players and such? I have seen people playing other people on different websites too. I have had about 3 bad experiences in total on a few different websites. The characters were always friendly at first, just like a player would be, then little by little, you started to see their true nature. I guess that is the bad thing about players. You just don't expect that to happen. They are sort of confidence men in a way aren't they sassy? did you know the word "con-man" came from the phrase confidence men. They win your confidence and your trust at first. Oh, btw, I saw you wrote a post in reference to me on one of the blogs sassy and you sounded like you were mad at me for some reason. The thing is, here on FF, we do have the option of reviewing our posts first, and lately I have been doing that. I would rather see the post first before I release it to the public. It's a good feature actually. I was on another site and you could not do that. If someone wanted to be rude or mean, you would just find a horrible post on your blog. It is too bad, the internet is such a good tool to communicate. Sad some people have to use it for evil intentions instead of good ones. Hope y'all having a great weekend. It's been wonderful up here.
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5/4/2008 6:27 pm |
Interesting post. And gambiteer has some good points to ponder that are indeed very true. "People cast caution to the wind and blab out the intimate details of their lives and feelings to nearly total strangers" "Let's face it what we're really talking about are selfish egotistical types be they men or women who manipulate, lie, misrepresent and hurt others for their own self gratification." Well, I think the blogs encourage people to do this though. To many people the blogs are a sort of diary. First I heard about blogs, I was shocked people would want to air all their day-to day goings on. For some reason though, it is a bit addicting. To blog and discuss our personal life. Maybe it's the present-day lazy man's diary. Takes much longer to write something by hand than typing it out, doesn't it. But if you are someone who likes to prey on other people, then that is paradise for you to have all that ammunition, to fool others or prey on other's weaknesses. The internet is a scary place, in a way, as you never really know who you are dealing with. My friend used to tell me that it was the devil's playground. I suppose in some ways that is true.
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5/7/2008 3:31 pm |
u forgot besides players you also got fakers samething as a player or this jerks which is the same as player me best way to not to get hurt by them is ask the same questions about the person u like me i dont care anymore not worth it on ff like it was back then its not just alot of bs ppl some are that some are not u have to figure that out on your own me im just lalalalala or goofy or wacky or just a tad nuts lol take it from a old reg here whos been on this site for 8 or 9 yrs now seen a lot of ppl some players some not in here or in the real world an since the real world is so crazy now an wars happening over seas now an all u have to take life seroisu now an sometimes not if u dont want to go nuts life is hard when ppl on the intertnet play head games or ppl in the real world its all the same now bye now from a old reg here lol
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5/8/2008 8:15 am |
What attracts a player to certain people? Can they sense low self esteem? Do they choose those who have issues/problems in life? Maybe those that are more open and honest make better victims? So many questions. So little understanding of how people can be intentionally cruel. Any thoughts are appreciated. Am I a player? I ask myself that as if the honest answer could be yes or no. I had been writing to three woman (of whom I never met) and planed to meet one, and perhaps make a commitment with her. In my mind I had done nothing truly wrong (at the time I was writing them) Because I felt one was a friend, one was a date and one was truly going to be with me. Kinda like dating to see which one I really wanted. I wrote them very nicely, but you ask what attracted me to them, it was themselves that initiated the writing. In each case each woman either invited me into her network, or gave me her e- mail before I had asked, each one I saw as a potential lover, and with the Internet it seemed as though anything could be said without actually effects boomeranging back towards me. (How wrong I was) I don’t believe self esteem played a part of it, because I wouldn’t want to write to anyone who didn’t respond well, or feel as though they had a lot to offer within the relationship at hand. I think it’s the photo posted, and the way they comment, the style within their own blogs that drew me in and made me desire them more then I should have. In all honesty, I believe I was wrong for writing to these people at the same time, and for not understanding their true feelings? I think it’s not easy to have any type of relationship in which you’ve never met the other person, and I feel I’ve hurt more then just the three people I wrote to, because I’ve brought more scepticism and dark clouds into the honest and good hearted people who do not or could never understand that people like me exist. But, as I think of why, it’s mostly because I was very lonely, and depressed, and liked the feeling of being filled with love, and warmth that each one freely gave me each in different ways. Have I learned my lessen (yes) I truly and honestly shall never write letters that place me into a player category ever again. If I do write someone in a loving and sexual manner it will be only after we had met face to face and both make a commitment with each other to only be intimate with each other. Probably the most and least talked about issue, would be the true ability to write. For in real life I have no one in my life, sad really, but no matter. I command words with appeal and grace, perhaps too well for my own good, there by being able to coax feelings beyond the emotions they truly poised. So were they lies: No, I don’t believe so, just feelings without substance, like leaves drifting in the breeze. I am truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused and wish to be just a blogger again. Perhaps in time, I can place this mistake behind me, and have learned a lesson from my selfishness and dishonesty. I hope this helps you in your quest for answers. Scott_48 BTW I've never chatted with anyone, only written e-mails, no spell check in chatting you know.
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5/8/2008 11:07 am |
I agree! That's why I don't lead anyone on. I just want a sex-buddy, and I say it right off.
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5/8/2008 11:31 pm |
What attracts a player to certain people? Can they sense low self esteem? Do they choose those who have issues/problems in life? Maybe those that are more open and honest make better victims? So many questions. So little understanding of how people can be intentionally cruel. Any thoughts are appreciated. Am I a player? I ask myself that as if the honest answer could be yes or no. I had been writing to three woman (of whom I never met) and planed to meet one, and perhaps make a commitment with her. In my mind I had done nothing truly wrong (at the time I was writing them) Because I felt one was a friend, one was a date and one was truly going to be with me. Kinda like dating to see which one I really wanted. I wrote them very nicely, but you ask what attracted me to them, it was themselves that initiated the writing. In each case each woman either invited me into her network, or gave me her e- mail before I had asked, each one I saw as a potential lover, and with the Internet it seemed as though anything could be said without actually effects boomeranging back towards me. (How wrong I was) I don’t believe self esteem played a part of it, because I wouldn’t want to write to anyone who didn’t respond well, or feel as though they had a lot to offer within the relationship at hand. I think it’s the photo posted, and the way they comment, the style within their own blogs that drew me in and made me desire them more then I should have. In all honesty, I believe I was wrong for writing to these people at the same time, and for not understanding their true feelings? I think it’s not easy to have any type of relationship in which you’ve never met the other person, and I feel I’ve hurt more then just the three people I wrote to, because I’ve brought more scepticism and dark clouds into the honest and good hearted people who do not or could never understand that people like me exist. But, as I think of why, it’s mostly because I was very lonely, and depressed, and liked the feeling of being filled with love, and warmth that each one freely gave me each in different ways. Have I learned my lessen (yes) I truly and honestly shall never write letters that place me into a player category ever again. If I do write someone in a loving and sexual manner it will be only after we had met face to face and both make a commitment with each other to only be intimate with each other. Probably the most and least talked about issue, would be the true ability to write. For in real life I have no one in my life, sad really, but no matter. I command words with appeal and grace, perhaps too well for my own good, there by being able to coax feelings beyond the emotions they truly poised. So were they lies: No, I don’t believe so, just feelings without substance, like leaves drifting in the breeze. I am truly sorry for the pain I’ve caused and wish to be just a blogger again. Perhaps in time, I can place this mistake behind me, and have learned a lesson from my selfishness and dishonesty. I hope this helps you in your quest for answers. Scott_48 BTW I've never chatted with anyone, only written e-mails, no spell check in chatting you know. my sympathies to you for getting caught.
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5/9/2008 11:55 am |
No, Rachel and I talked everyday on the phone, and exchanged real not e-mail mail. Rachel received far different mail then anyone, maybe a couple were the same, but not the other hundred's. As far as answering the b | ||
