Blog : Silently Waiting

Silently Waiting

9/9/2009 11:32 pm

I fell in love with one man crazily in April of 2008. 17 months has passed and now it's Sep. 10th, Teachers' Day, while both of his parents are teachers in college.
I have never been so into sth or sb before. He is definetely the only perfect one for me. I believe in this completely. However, thing is: I still got another 2 chances or afairs with other guys.
I met both of them in May this year, the month when I was born. I love May, but not myself. I love snow, but not myself. One of them is only 18 and the other has been 36. They have got completely different things all together.
When I finally find out the fact, I don't feel tired at all. Cos even I am in love with 3 of them in all today at the same time, but they can't take my loneliness away. There is still a chance for me to think about myself. Who am I? Why am I here? How am I? Am I a cheater? Will I be forgiven? Is there someone when one of them might feel sorry to me even for one moment? I love you so much, but why can't you love me back as well? Why set me free and never come to save me?
At last I am afraid that I might lose them one by one and the point is that they will never trust in my love. Cos they can't understand how is that possible for one person to fall in love with 3 men at the same time and she loves them so much that even more than each of them has given to her? In fact, this is just the truth.
I am seriously thinking that maybe my love is too heavy and it might become an invisible killer. Should I love them less and myself more? Must I keep silent when waiting for someone?

debutanteBaltimr