 | Blogs > cheersnow > Missnow Palace > Singles in Chinese Villages |
5/15/2009 12:47 am |
Welll, before that, we have to know the fact that it seems so popular or nomal for a man or woman to be still single in his or her mid ages in the west and no one would take it too seriously. However, here in China, especially in northern villages near our home, things can be completely different. First of all, people usually dont go to school for too long. They think education costs too much more than what they can gain afterwards. Moreover, they think it is free to get into society. The sooner, the better. So usually they go to work at a young age and get engaged too. Usually u have to find a bf or gf introduced by ur family before 18 so that u could get married years later. U know u have to work pretty hard for ur marriage. U have to build up a house of ur own, containing a big yard. Second u have to make money for the fornitures in ur house or new transportations tools, like everything else needed in new life, or a motorbike. At last u have to prepare for ur wedding. The relatives will come and u have to invite them to dinner. U will take the pics of ur most beautiful and happiest moments in life for a lifetime memory. All those things can be really exciting for a new couple cos everything is new then. It means a lot for them too. U have to grow up and live on ur own from then on. No matter how hard life is, u will have to take ur own responsibilities as parents. So if u dont take any of this, it means that u have to live alone for the next time. Cos u will lose many things in life which u should experince for once. If a man hasnt got married in his 20s there, then there must be a problem, either he himself or his family. They will be looked down upon by others. However, if u r still at school in ur 20s, things can be totally different too. They will forgive u for everything. It's ok for a city girl or a college student to be still single in her 20s. Like me now. However, u cant keep ur mind that carm after 30 which is still far away from me cos women r usually not young any more. If a lady is still single then, there is only one point, she must be over deminded on men, or we may say that she is an idealist chasing for perfection. Or she is too independent and loves freedom too much, which is usually not liked by traditional Chinese men. Chinese men love the feelings of taking control in a ralationship and they must be better than their wives or gfs in everything, at least in career. In fact once one of my male friends asked me why I dont have a bf and I said to him, I dont know either, maybe I am not their type. I think Chinese boys r easily hurt. They would be more emotional or more serious in a relationship. In fact, they feel very shocked when I was trying to be with some foreign guy who was much older than me. Once I thought it was not a problem at all. But now I have to reconsider it. And I think it's the most important thing for me to find a serioud relationship. At first I thought foreign guys were much stronger just cos they dont take love so seriously. In fact I think I was right from the beginning. I also heard that when they r in love, they could be more crazier than most Chinese do. I dont know. And I dont believe it untill I met. Sometimes I think I am bad girl too. Maybe I am playing games with all my heart and soul. I am sure I might be hurt by someone else too in the future. I know I will get older and older and lose everything that I have now and cant remember anything in the past. I think I have tried to be pure and good, but when u found those guys were not that kind of trustworthy, do u still dare to jump into the fire? I think I am definetely not that kind of stupid foolish girl and will never be. All I have to do is wait and c. Even my solitude is eating my loneliness now, I have to hold on believing that it's god's will on me and my destiny to be single. I have no other choices at all. Next is sth I wrote as sth called “Sorry To Miss U!”: Babe, I am sorry, so sorry now. I wish I had a better memory, at least I could remember everything that happened before between us. I wish I had taken more attention on u at that time so that I wont be so regretful or feel so guilty now. I wish I could fall in love with u earlier than u. I wish I could be with u for a longer time. I wish so. However, it's only sth, nothing more. |
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5/15/2009 5:02 pm |
You grew up in a society built by men for men in which women are only "reproduction tools"... I know what you mean when you talk about Chinese guys and their tendency to try to control the relationship, I went there... Don't feel guilty if your tastes draw you to Westerners, there is nothing wrong in that... though I think attraction is more a question of mind connection rather than a racial issue. I hope you will reach your goals without allowing retrograde judgements and behaviors to put boundaries to your dreams and achievements... Be yourself !  there is only one truth but several ways of saying it...
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5/16/2009 12:21 am |
You grew up in a society built by men for men in which women are only "reproduction tools"... I know what you mean when you talk about Chinese guys and their tendency to try to control the relationship, I went there... Don't feel guilty if your tastes draw you to Westerners, there is nothing wrong in that... though I think attraction is more a question of mind connection rather than a racial issue. I hope you will reach your goals without allowing retrograde judgements and behaviors to put boundaries to your dreams and achievements... Be yourself !
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