 | Blogs > gentmartin3 > this life....... > un itled |
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Today is a bad day, today is one of those days when i ponder my fate and whether my aimless wanderings and goaless life has any meaning..today is a day when my usual existance of living alone and working alone gets lonely. Today is a day when im im mortified by own self pity, when the quiet frightens me rather than gives me freedom to think, a day when i see my age and feel my age, and see changes that i only ever saw in others older than me. I reflect on my purpose and wander if im good, or bad, ask myself how others judge me, whether what i allow people to see is a pretence or the real me, and if i am a fake, an actor, a person who covers his real self which he knows is no good with a shiny bright exterior, to fool himself as much as others... or, is what others see the real me, and who i think i am the fake me.... When i think about it, in my past i dwell on the bad times, the mistakes the stupid things ive done, my weakness. I know ive done good things, i just never seem to remeber them, or i wdoubt whether i did a good deed simply to make myself feel good about myself rather than out of true compassion.. What if, deep down, im just no damn good... |
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7/21/2008 3:33 pm |
yeah hun, I know how you feel.
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7/21/2008 4:26 pm |
Take it easy on yourself. You're human, so don't beat yourself too much over having the frailties of being one. We all have them, in varying degrees. We have good days and bad days and everything in between. But we have a community here, and we can help share your burden, if you let us. For all it's worth, don't dwell on your past. It's over and done with, and no self-recrimination will ever do you any good. All you can really do is learn from your mistakes and move forward, and in all this, remember that you have a choice--whether to let this drag you down or not. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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7/21/2008 4:33 pm |
Ohh! gent dont think negative(-) about yourself Please be Positive(+) Important that someone a real friends around you and someone real friends Think about you, you know I am the one of them Please dont change and dont blame yourself what the past you have done before! thats part of our life! I love the way you are...a warm hug from me to you  Best Regards    Your thought is my thought..  
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7/21/2008 5:38 pm |
ARE YOU KIDDING ME>!?!?!?!?!?!?! You my friend, are one of the good ones...no matter what despair, no matter what past mistakes...do NOT forget that. No journey...no matter the cost, is ever in vain...let others judge you as they may...the only opinion that counts is the one residing in your heart. Don't make me come over there and slap you...  Spread your wings a little bit more, every single day. 
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7/25/2008 11:15 am |
first aid here...with empty buckets ... deal - u can pour u tears in this buckets and i will remind u one horror story which u wrote in the beginning of u famous blogs career ... u think more funny to be in nice company of cheap ppl ? >>>> still waiting when he will see something further, than in meter from his nose  and..... he he he ....u can pretending whom and how much u want whom u can mystify .. lol except yourself  ! And i can tell... u will look nice in role of the goddess of justice - >>>>> you remember this tall and strange one with weights in hands   and who can tell that all not turn to the best ? hope all will be fine  Iana
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7/28/2008 1:49 pm |
Well, well...now I don't see the person I'm used to see on chat...I did not even know that you, Martin, could look deep inside. You always smile, laugh and behave like a very young guy. And now I see the person who is thinking about serious things. And after all this you doubt if you are good or bad?!
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7/31/2008 12:58 pm |
hi gent, just saw this..... don't be too hard on yourself. we're all only human, all infallible. Watch a floating cloud, it always changes. you're lovely.
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8/6/2008 7:25 pm |
don't feel bad...smile and be happy
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8/10/2008 10:31 am |
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8/10/2008 10:33 am |
when you feel bad,you should find a person,whos much bad, than you and help him!!!!Good luck!
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9/25/2008 1:58 am |
I see everybody in this entire of world are good. Each one having their own role to play. Maybe, today it's not your good day but You might did to someone to his/her a good day. Smile..xxx
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12/9/2008 1:14 am |
nonsense! You are GOOD. way deep and not way deep. Remember that! This was wrote way back, so i hope today you are feeling really awesome! My Wish To You
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