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Stump in vegetative state Stump in vegetative state. During an interview with the national enquirer television news? Mr Stump appears to have fallen into a vegetative state.This reporter has a transcript of the interview, it reads- "Mr Stump you have mentioned in passing that it is your intent to build a wall.Could you tell us more about that?" Sure Trisha. Firstly may i say your breasts look very perky.I don't wanna be politically correct here but i'd love to see you on your kneees in front of me.But the wall?The wall is gonna be beautyfool.It's gonna be terrific." "And i believe that the Mexicans are going to pay for it?" "Of course.Of course and it's gonna be fantastic." "And the Mexican government are happy to pay for it?" "They're gonna pay for it because we need it because of all the and drug monkeys they keep sending here" "So they have agreed to finance it?" "They're going to pay for it and it's gonna be great" "I don't want to push you on this too much mr Stump but you are quite sure that the Mexican government are indeed willing to pay for Americans to build a wall on American soil?" "You don't get it Trisha.We're gonna build a wall and it's gonna be soup herbs" "No i do get what you're saying but i just don't quite see how you think you'll persuade Mexico to pay for the wall" "It's them that are the problem.They have to pay for it.Right.You understand right?" "Well no not really mr Stump.What will motivate them to pay? Is it your intention to talk harshly to them or give them a nasty look or do you intend to threaten to nuke them?" "Look they are a small backward country and we are America.They'll do what they're told,okay?" "Why?" "Are you stupid,I just told you" "Well no you didn't really.You just keep repeating drivel.Do you intend to declare war on Mexico if they quite rightly refuse to pay you a peso?" "frickle, burrr, smimp" "Are you alright mr Stump?" "Shipoopy" At this point smoke was seen rising from mr Stumps hair-piece and he appeared non-responsive,Members of his entourage carried him from the set, Later a representative issued this statement, "Today the Stump units battery control suffered a minor overload.Unfortunately the control wig being of East European manufacture and rather old may be difficult to source parts for. In the meantime we would like to say on behalf of the Stump unit, Women should be in the kitchen or the bed,Black people have smaller brains than white folk and all muslims hate America.Thank you,I shall now take questions." "Rodger Pooplesnaffle, Wig weekly.As the Stump unit is undergoing repair would it be possible to improve the power unit and increase it's current working parameters of a slow-minded 5 year old to something more suited to a prospective commander in chief?" "We have looked into this but have found that to increase the units brain functions to that of a simpleton 8 year old would require such a large battery that mr Stump would have to constantly wear a top hat to disguise the new control wig and we think that might make him look foolish" Not all of the Stump staff managed to keep a straight face at this statement and 2 interns were instantly you're fired for giggling. A later statement from the Stump camp was by a Pedro Grandepenis (The initial representative having been you're fired for using intelligable language and being too smart for his booties) Senor Grandepenis said."Ello peoples of America i just wants to tell you that mr Stump he ees a good man and he very kind too me.He say often to me i have a lovely bottom and he geeve it little squeeze,He say one day he like to have me take pee on him.I would like to add that Mr Stump has normal sized peepee." Later (after another representitve was you're fired for coming up with the phrase "too smart for his booties" for being an intelectual snob.) a representative who looked suspiciously like Senor Pedro Grandepenis had this to add. "Good day my American cousins.How are you all aih? My name is Harvey Hugedick and i would simply like to add that as a Canadian immigrant to this grand country that it's all lies that mr Stump has a small diddler.I can assure you all that he is as well-endowed as any 5 year old." Later it was decided to simply use a computer to generate appropriately misogynist,racist xenophobic statements on behalf of the Stump camp. This is the statement in full."Black people are bad, Foreigners are bad,Muslims are bad.Women are sex-objects or stupid,Horses are bad.drug monkeys are bad. The computer was you're fired for being horsist. Even later a representative that looked suspiciously like Harvey Hugedick isssued this statement. "Gidday mates, Brian Bigwillie ere.How they hangin? I'd just like to say that mr Stump has a chipolata sized dicky. Seriously guys you wouldn't even throw it on the barbie." Currently mr Stump remains in a vegetative state but it's believed the parts to repair his hairpiece have been sourced and he will be back talking moronic drivel by the weekend.I've been your reporter Hamish Adultknob.Good evening. |
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Soar losers? I can't even hover m8.And the fact you can't see Stump is a cretin really is not something you should admit to publicly feller.KInda says you're as stupid as he is and we're not talking just a little dim here. We are talking profound idiocy.
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Yes i get it John you're stupid.You really don't need to labour the point.It's abundantly clear okay . Look shiney, shiney.Go chase the shiney thing Mutley. Ta Goldy.Always a pleasure.
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