Blog : Naming things

8056 posts
3/22/2009 5:56 am

Last Read:
8/10/2014 3:53 pm

Naming things

I cannot remember names.
Because of this i give everyone i meet a nick-name as a sort of aide-memoir.
All the local squids have been re-christened by me.Mostly the nicknames stick and they are going through their lives with a silly monicker.
This is occassionally unfortunate. Banana Jan (was an appropriate name for a little blonde girl).You can imagine what all the boys think it refers to now she's an 18 year old. Likewise fer sticky Nicky (who was tall and thin as a )Poor Scaley Caley (who was accident prone and always had scabby knees and elbows from falling off her bike or whatever).Lord knows what people make of her nick-name.
There's Eariwig Erin and frog-faced Amy, Nicky-big ears,Snickers and on and on.
I wonder if one day i'll be prosecuted fer -abuse.
But the parents don't escape.
There's my neighbour who is 6 foot 7 (you'd love him laydees .Enormously tall , slim and dark) i call him Long Tall Sally (but never to his face) His wife , who i gossip with endlessly and who knows everybodies business, i call her "the oracle.
For years i lived next door to a woman called Charmagne (you'd think i could remember a name like that) I called her QE2 cause when she walked down the path away from you it was like watching a liner going oot to sea. (very big girl was Charmagne).
Even as a i seemed to have been renaming people. I lived next door to a girl called Evelyn, i couldn't say Evelyn (i was only 3 or 4 at the time). Still to this day she is known to everyone as Yoyo.
You might be thinking "How come you escaped the nick naming".
Praise be to Rolf Harris.When i was a small boy he released a song called "Jake the peg" and from then on i was called Jake by my family and friends and now no-one even knows it's not my given name.(well obviously my parents do). Prior to the saintly Rolfs hit i was known as Jackie-duff Because my name is Jack and i was as a small boy shaped rather like a plum duff- round and squidgy.
I could have gone through life as Jackie-duff (i still have an uncle who calls me Jackie, i never know who he's talking to- oh yeah , that's me).
So i'd like you all to join me now in expressing a great big thank you to the saintly Rolf Harris.
Without whom i'd have been a very different man.