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 | Blogs > Whatsherface > WhatsTheBeef? > Feed Me, Seymour |
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I feel like Audrey II. I'm not sure if it is because I look scrawny or I emit such happy noises when I am eating that it prompts people to want to feed me all the time. I was just telling MM's hubby, Sir LongSufferingHubby, that I am lucky to get free food or special treatment a fair bit. Like the time I met an old gf at an Intercontinental for lunch and was approached to try a special menu from a visiting 3-star chef from Spain. On the house. We thought they would give us a pan of paella or some tapas but out came a 6-course meal that was so heavenly that it blew my friend's diet right out of the water. We had been in the right place at the right time when it was part of a food festival and the chef was apparently looking for some customers to test out his new menu. Score! Another time was when I was dining alone at one of my favourite pizzerias and the lady chef was testing out a new dessert pizza. I happened to be sitting near the ovens where she was working and she offered the entire banana, dark chocolate and almond flaked concoction to me. She instantly became my new best friend. Another time I was on a date at a Japanese restaurant and the owner was an elderly Japanese lady who is a phenomenal chef. My date had worked in Japan for a long time so he did the ordering but for some reason, the owner thought I was the Japanese expert. She decided she liked me and kept sending her son out with little titbits and flasks of sake from different provinces for me to try out. My date became jealous and I decided he was a twat. I went back to the restaurant sans lame date a week later. She fed me more sake and yakitori ... on the house. So I am fairly fortunate but of course, this just happens once in a while although I wish it was a daily occurrence! So, after I told Paul this, I discovered I had been a real doughnut and forgotten an important engagement. My absentmindedness required some rather annoyed people to arrange for a plane to come out and get me and to fly me back today. The price was that I had to perform much longer than I initially agreed upon and I had to have breakfast with them. Why is breakfast significant? Because these people eat the kind of breakfast others have for dinner. The breakfast table is about 4 feet long. And it is filled to the edges with food. I love food but I have a strange quirk. I do not really eat breakfast. I do if I know I have a long day of workshops and classes ahead of me which means I have no time to stop to eat. But even when I eat breakfast, it is fairly light. Well, for me anyway. Maybe a couple of Eggs Benedicts, half a toasted croissant or bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam, milk, coffee, OJ (yes, all three), occasionally a single slice of bacon if I am exceptionally hungry and an apple or slice of cantaloup. I cannot force down a large breakfast as I need to stay light and ready to work when I hit the studio. After that it is coffee, coffee and more coffee and maybe some trail mix, muesli or power bars or muffins and chocolate bars through the day till I have time to have a proper meal. And lots of milk and water to keep me going. So, breakfast with the Miffed Malaysians was punishment to me. For forgetting. I ate. And ate. And ate. There was the continental breakfast. There was the German style breakfast because they remembered I was from Germany. There was the full English brekkie because they knew I was English. There was the French version as they knew I was a foodie. There was the local Malaysian brekkie which means there were Chinese, Malay and Indian options available. And there was gado gado which they knew I love because it reminds me of my grandmother. There was also Japanese sushi and sashimi because they knew I love Japanese food. Breakfast lasted almost 3 hours. I felt like I was 3 months' preggers when I rolled off my chair and crawled painfully to my room to pack. I was glad they were flying me back to Singers in a private plane as I think any commercial airline would not let me on due to overweight and excess luggage. I swore I will not eat for a week. But when I arrived in Singers a few hours ago, I realised that I needed to have dinner as I was doing the footy thing tonight and the lounge area did not allow real food and only finger foods. I did some fast calculating. I should eat something before I ensconced myself on the sofa with my shisha and beers to watch the matches. But I wanted a nap as I am knackered. OK, buy some food, stick it in the mini-bar and have that before I go out. Good idea. So I went to a food court to get some ginger beef and rice take-out. The lady at the food court was just opening up her stall so I asked if she was open for business yet, smiling winsomely so that she would say yes and I did not have to do another walkabout. She looked rather startled and said yes so I ordered and was happily tapping my feet to a song on my iPod when she gestured to me to collect my food. My Chinese is uncertain and her English was fairly non-existent. As I paid her for my food, she snapped at another customer who was trying to hurry me out of the way so he could order. Then she smiled and asked me, "Chicken curry good. You want?" "Er, no thanks as lots of yummy food here," I lifted the packet of beef & rice and smiled happily. "Little bit. I give you little bit. You like?" Wow, free food. Score! I nodded like a eager little kid offered candy and a ride on a roller coaster. Yes, please! It was not a little bit of chicken curry she gave me. When I returned back to my room, I discovered it was a big arse bowl of chicken curry with two chunks of chicken breasts and some potatoes. I stared at my haul and remembered. I can't eat as I am still ridiculously bloated from my Feast of Folly at brekkie. OK, maybe a nap will revive my killer appetite. In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people. |
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5/11/2008 4:48 am |
It's a good job you are so active or you would be massive Some of the food you mentioned made my mouth water mmmmm.
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5/11/2008 5:54 am |
WHF, ni hao you kou fu ah! It must be both your looking slim and your display of good appetite at meals that made those ladies so much fond of feeding you. What kind and lovely people they are! I was laughing all the way at your discription about how they ignored that date and the other customer only to treat you with more free food! Have a sweet nap, so that when you get up, you'll have more space in the tummy to enjoy yummy food again! Me always envy people who have good appetite!  Agnes
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 5/11/2008 7:06 am |
No biscuits and gravey?  DDM
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5/11/2008 7:39 am |
This just convinced me to send you THREE dozen Krispy Kremes next time we meet. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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5/11/2008 12:22 pm |
It's a good job you are so active or you would be massive Some of the food you mentioned made my mouth water mmmmm. Oh yeah, the food ... yummers! I came back tonight hungry again. Was just pondering if I should have some wanton noodles or Japanese soba. Might even be free as the hotel owes me. In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/11/2008 12:27 pm |
WHF, ni hao you kou fu ah! It must be both your looking slim and your display of good appetite at meals that made those ladies so much fond of feeding you. What kind and lovely people they are! I was laughing all the way at your discription about how they ignored that date and the other customer only to treat you with more free food! Have a sweet nap, so that when you get up, you'll have more space in the tummy to enjoy yummy food again! Me always envy people who have good appetite! Even in boarding school, the canteen ladies would give me more food because I looked so thin. They always thought I was starving. Got so bad, my friends would make me go get their food for them so they could have more too!  Er, the nap thing did not work out. I ended up with a migraine that stayed with me all night till I got back just now and washed my hair. For some reason I always feel better after washing my hair if I have a migraine. Don't envy me. Just feed me! Shameless, aren't I?In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/11/2008 12:27 pm |
No biscuits and gravey? DDM In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/11/2008 12:31 pm |
This just convinced me to send you THREE dozen Krispy Kremes next time we meet. I just remembered that I did not bring Paul to the egg tart place. The best egg tarts in the world outside of Hong Kong. In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/11/2008 2:57 pm |
I started singing to the title as soon as I read it! one of my favorite movies! I saw a recent new clip for some hotdog eating contest. a young man ate 53? and a young woman 37? up for a contest?
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5/11/2008 9:54 pm |
I started singing to the title as soon as I read it! one of my favorite movies! I saw a recent new clip for some hotdog eating contest. a young man ate 53? and a young woman 37? up for a contest? I don't think I am up to the contest as I am a slow but big eater. Not one for speed but for quantity and quality. Longest bout of eating in one sitting? 12 hours. I kid you not. And I was once challenged to eat a large Earthquake from Swensons on my own and I did. Won 50 quid. In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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5/12/2008 6:04 am |
LOL, it took me a few minutes to figure out what that meant. Means having mouth happiness, no? Which means I have a gift of eating well? Even in boarding school, the canteen ladies would give me more food because I looked so thin. They always thought I was starving. Got so bad, my friends would make me go get their food for them so they could have more too! Er, the nap thing did not work out. I ended up with a migraine that stayed with me all night till I got back just now and washed my hair. For some reason I always feel better after washing my hair if I have a migraine. Don't envy me. Just feed me! Shameless, aren't I?Would be more than glad to FEED you! Can migraine be washed away? Mine often disappears after a sound sleep.Agnes
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5/12/2008 8:24 am |
Hey, I was close! Bit literal but close! Well, I find that I can usually get rid of a migraine if I wash my hair but if it is really bad, then nothing short of getting an injection helps. I am very sensitive to pressure on my temples and head. Can't really wear hairbands, glasses, earphones, hairclips etc that clamp onto my temples for long as I will get migraines. So I always have my hair in a chignon because it is so hot in Asia. Back home it is usually down. Sleeping does not get rid of migraines for me. I just get weird dreams and have disturbed sleep and wake up with a worse migraine. In the immortal words from 6th Sense ... I see stupid people.
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