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 | Blogs > askimyt > Expressions > the annual review |
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My anniversary with the company I work for was April 28 and we have mandatory reviews every year. HR uses something they call a 360 review where you and your boss review you, but then so does at least one other manager and three peers - two from your department, one outside your department - all who have to have contact with you. I HATE the 360 review process, but only because of the person who always is asked to review me - the woman who works next to me. She doesn't like me. We have opposite personalities and have clashed in one way or another since shortly after I got there. Worse now is that I supervise - not her (thank GOD) - but the process she does, the input of payables. So she has to deal with me on a supervisory level, which makes her nuts. If I had a dime for every time I had to hear her say something about how I know better, or she has no authority, or something along those lines, I'd be rolling in dimes, that's for sure.  Thing is, this woman uses my review as her sounding board for all the personal things about me she doesn't like. I'm away from my desk too much, my kids call me too much, I type too much - yes, TYPE too much, WTF is that????? What gets me most about this woman is that she doesn't practice what she preaches. We work for a ministry and she's constantly pulling up Biblical principals and how I don't fit into those - I'm too bold, too loud, too nearly divorced (GASP!!) - not the Proverbs 31 woman, at least not in her eyes. But she's a gossip. She talks about me at that desk right next to me, while I have my back turned, as if I can't hear her from 15 feet away. She goes to our boss, the head of the department, HR, everyone but ME if she has a problem with me and per those same Biblical principals she pulls up all the time (to those others at her desk mind you, not me), she should be coming to me to discuss these issues. She's been getting to me more than not lately. Might have something to do with the fact my boss and I went over my review last Friday and he made a comment about how I'm audibly loud and how to her it seems I'm purposely loud to be noticed. Now granted, our department is beyond quiet. You've heard of church quiet? Well this is morgue quiet. There's no such thing as a private conversation unless it's through e-mail - or you take your cell phone to the hallway. Anyway, I probably am a bit louder than they are, especially, my boss has said, if I get excited over something. Well see, the majority of my department is Dutch. Not Dutch like off the boat Dutch, but in ancestory of people who immigrated to the United States years before. But they hold onto their Dutch ideals like a badge of honor. For them being Dutch means they're quiet and respectful and have this code of proper conduct I'd die trying to adhere to. They actually apologize for sneezing - and not because they sneezed on someone. They say "I'm so sorry" when they sneeze - not "excuse me" but sorry. Amazing!! Plus they shove the Dutch stuff down my throat and are constantly telling me how something or another that they do is Dutch. I'm not Dutch. I'm half German and half Italian but definitely relate more strongly to my Italian half. I'm passionate about everything - happy, sad or inbetween. I love to laugh and have fun and yes, I'm probably audibly loud. It's an Italian thing. We can be very loud people. Get my family together and you can't hear yourself think. I love it!! It's happy noise - not arguing - but laughter, singing, joyful noises. But now, on top of this laundry list of things this woman faults me for not being (I have a feeling not being Dutch is at the top of that list) something that's probably more my culture than anything else, is being picked on...and written about in MY review that goes into my personnel record. What a testament to me. Shari is thorough, she takes calculated risks, she follows directions, applies feedback, learns quickly, helps others, makes independent decisions - oh, and she types too much and she's loud. I kid you not - ALL these things are from my latest review. So excuse me for complaining. Just the mood I'm in right now. Lots of things going on and it's hard to hold onto this spinning merry go round sometimes. But I do thank you for letting me vent. 
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 5/20/2008 6:50 pm |
Wow, sounds like she needs a good smacking!
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5/20/2008 7:53 pm |
  (¯`v´¯) `*.¸.*´ ¸.•´¸.•*¨) ¸.•*¨) (¸.•´ (¸.•´ .•´ ¸¸.•¨¯`•smile and be happy always
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5/21/2008 6:08 am |
I have known people like this, from experience it sounds as though she is jealous and threatened by you. She has been trying to gather like minded people to her cause (what ever it is ). Put your 2 cents in. If she spent more time worrying about her work than you, things would go smoother. I tend towards ignoring these people, but I know thats hard given your working conditions. Fire up that German/Italian ancestory and let her know you won't take anymore crap!  THE JOURNEY CALLED LIFE!!
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5/21/2008 4:23 pm |
Wow, sounds like she needs a good smacking!
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5/21/2008 4:24 pm |
to you too Belle - where'd your classy photo go to?
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5/21/2008 4:26 pm |
I have known people like this, from experience it sounds as though she is jealous and threatened by you. She has been trying to gather like minded people to her cause (what ever it is ). Put your 2 cents in. If she spent more time worrying about her work than you, things would go smoother. I tend towards ignoring these people, but I know thats hard given your working conditions. Fire up that German/Italian ancestory and let her know you won't take anymore crap! Thanks for the support!
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5/21/2008 5:14 pm |
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she sounds like a toxic dump.... and she's 70? Isn't she beyond retirement age? hard to deal with someone else's fears. Seems to me it's up to the person responsible for the review to pose this question to her: Are your complaints personal or professional? and shut her down if they're not specifically about your ability to do the job. Funny thing--I have yet to meet a quiet reserved Dutch person...I'm sure they exist but Riny's family and friends are anything but....they're lively, happy, and fun loving. Sounds as though those "Dutch" people are clinging to some sort of non-existent stereotype. oh--just wondering if you ship your son here, who pays the postage?  Wishing you happiness Misty
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5/21/2008 7:51 pm |
70...Dutch...lol...ok, my family is Finn and Dutch...really I am a Heinz57...Ketchup step aside, I truly am the topping for all fried food...ok no, not really....My family is LOUD...and obnoxious... I don't know but the whole Dutch being quiet people...hmmmm not seeing that. I think it has more to do with the fact that she is an older gal. What is so sad is the fact that she wants to beat you with biblical platitudes....  ...Jesus never meant for us to be the crapola...(Italian twist there)...out of each other with scripture...we were suppose to live it teaching by example. Mind you I am not one to talk, my example sucks at times. It is nice to read that you had some excellent comments in your review! Michelle 
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5/22/2008 3:41 pm |
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh she sounds like a toxic dump.... and she's 70? Isn't she beyond retirement age? hard to deal with someone else's fears. Seems to me it's up to the person responsible for the review to pose this question to her: Are your complaints personal or professional? and shut her down if they're not specifically about your ability to do the job. Funny thing--I have yet to meet a quiet reserved Dutch person...I'm sure they exist but Riny's family and friends are anything but....they're lively, happy, and fun loving. Sounds as though those "Dutch" people are clinging to some sort of non-existent stereotype. oh--just wondering if you ship your son here, who pays the postage? I agree that these Dutch people in my workplace have some kind of fabricated stereotype. Of course try to tell THEM that? Horrors!! They're very proper thank you, and if you don't think they are, then YOU obviously have the problem. For me? I think I'd rather hang around Riny's Dutch relatives, they sounds like they're much more fun. Maybe I can get the town of South Glens Falls to pay the postage to ship my son to you with the promise of rain if they let him go.
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5/22/2008 3:46 pm |
70...Dutch...lol...ok, my family is Finn and Dutch...really I am a Heinz57...Ketchup step aside, I truly am the topping for all fried food...ok no, not really....My family is LOUD...and obnoxious... I don't know but the whole Dutch being quiet people...hmmmm not seeing that. I think it has more to do with the fact that she is an older gal. What is so sad is the fact that she wants to beat you with biblical platitudes.... ...Jesus never meant for us to be the crapola...(Italian twist there)...out of each other with scripture...we were suppose to live it teaching by example. Mind you I am not one to talk, my example sucks at times. It is nice to read that you had some excellent comments in your review! I did get the chance to throw their own words up to them today at our department meeting. Our conversation lended into how we talk to and treat each other and I jumped in with both feet. I brought up how you need to take your issues TO the person (per Matthew 16 you know) and how venting to someone can be helpful so you can gather your thoughts, but that if you never take your complaint to that person, things will never change. The big boss agreed with me and I got daggers shot at me the rest of the afternoon by the woman next to me, and two others. But you know...if the shoe fits.......
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5/22/2008 5:36 pm |
If the shoe fits stomp her with it MEEEELLLLOOOOOOWWWW UMMMMMMMM.........O.K. Now, theres 1 more day before a long wknd. Just take a couple deep breaths,in with the good out with the bad...see, it works. A bottle of merlot doesn't hurt either THE JOURNEY CALLED LIFE!!
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