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 | Blogs > Mrs_CIGAR > Happy NAILS to you!!! > Oh geezums, I'm back again |
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Well ain't I just prolific as all get out today? I'm taking a respite from the job hunting extravaganza guilt-free. Not even looking. Been there done that 20 times a day for the last 4 weeks. I'm on cruise control. Laid out in the sun. Read a few blogs. Made a few phone calls and just pampering myself. Shut off the TV. Walked the dog. Would have eaten a few bon bons but I don't have any. Started dinner already so that Hubby and I can eat early then I'm going to find someway to entertain him tonight. I have not been a good wife lately, I don't think. Too self-absorbed. It's going to be ALL ABOUT HIM tonight. If he wants to play checkers, I'm alright with that. If he wan't me to just shut up so he can watch Jim Rome, I'm all about that. If he wants to play............... nevah mind. So I'm reviewing my life. God is good to me. Even when I don't want Him to be or think He is. Even those things that hurt seem to always be for my own betterment. This entire move to California was against my selfish wishes and in looking back I have not been very kind about it. In my passive-agressive way I think I've been a total turd to my husband. I need to stop that right now. Something that happened during this move is this (it's not interesting, really) I lost something. After landing here I have torn apart every box, looked in every cranny, resorted, retraced and not found what I was looking for. I think what happened is this thing I prized so highly that I took the time to pack separately and hand carry got left behind in a hotel room either in Pennsylvania, Kentucky, Kansas or New Mexico. I've called the hotels where we stayed and nothing. But it ain't here. So there is one thing left for me to do........... LET GO. It's a piece of needlework that took me over two years to complete. Hardanger. Intense stuff. Look it up on the web. I started it on a journey to Cape May, New Jersy back in 1990 when my son was graduating from the Coast Guard there. It took me a couple of years to complete even though there were times I worked on it 10 hours a day. I wasn't done with it by the time I moved to Maine in 2001. It represented something to me. And now it is gone. That's alright. Because what it really represents is that I had nothing else to do with my life for two stinking years. Why was I holding on so tightly to that??? I have tried to create other pieces in the last few years but never got finished with them. Always got distracted and ended up just piling them in a box for safe keeping which I threw out when purging for this move to California. Now the absolute last piece of my useless past has vanished. I suppose I should be glad it is gone. But it is BEAUTIFUL and I hope that who ever has it now is enjoying it and understands that there was alot of work that went into it. Yes, I hope someone has it. I hope that I left it in a hotel room and that a nice cleaning woman found the box it was in and after the month that passed and it was unclaimed that she took it home and covered a table or dresser with it. I hope that on some holiday she uses it for a centerpiece and cherishes it. I hope it stays in her family. It has been back and forth across the continent a few times during it's creation and it kept me from going insane. But you know what??? I never put it out to be seen. I never used it in the way it was meant to be used. It was always in a box and hidden. Like I was during the time I was stitching it. Put away and never seen. So. I'm letting go. And I have too much to do now to even start a new one. God, I love life!!!! |
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 4/30/2008 4:37 pm |
Sounds like you have a great attitude, and just maybe it will turn up somewhere, when you least expect it.
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4/30/2008 3:01 pm |
What a great outlook you have to something you worked so hard on. I am sure that wherever it is and whoever has it, it is being used or loved just like you did. Have a happy and fun filled night with hubby  
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