 | Blogs > MunchkinMatron2 > Not Necessarily The News > That's A Wrap |
7/16/2009 3:15 am |
I've been on a kinky article kick lately (but then again, when have I NOT been on a kinky article kick? They seem to find me no matter where I hide). It's almost like a compulsion, one that, for the sake of my self-improvement and further enlightenment (and to show Sir John that, yes, I AM capable of bringing my uncontrollable urges to heel), I should overcome. So check me out on New Year's Day of 2010 – I'll be the one by the azaleas flagellating myself with a garden hose while having a marathon polka session with Lawrence Welk's Greatest Hits—all for the noble purpose of self-censorship. But before I retreat into self-imposed kinky article detox, here's one more that caught my eye while reading Glamour. Apparently, another devoted reader sent on this priceless tip: "One day, I brought saran wrap (plastic cling wrap to you people unfamiliar with the term) to my boyfriend's house and wrapped him up like a mummy. I cut holes to let his nipples out, and the sensation was amazing when I rubbed my fingers across his covered skin. Plus, when the saran wrap was peeled off, his skin was ultra sensitive. He was blown away by how cool it was." Now, I don't know about you, but saran wrap reminds me of sad little sandwiches with limp lettuce, mystery meat and watery tomatoes trussed up and sitting forlornly on a cafeteria display case. Or that guy from The Full Monty trying to shrink his beer gut by wrapping it up with the darn thing. Or Bruno, being wise to this trick, trying it on himself and declaring, “I ist your über skinny spring roll of love!” Plus, I'm thinking, by the time I finish mummifying hubby with it, I'd be so tired I'll pass out face down on the bed, snoring. Nevertheless, being the adventurous middle-aged semi-cougarish (being 3 weeks older qualifies me as one) housewife that I am, I get hubby to read the abovementioned tip, and then, brandishing a brand-spanking new roll of GLAD wrap, I give him my best come hither look. Sad to say, hubby has no sense of adventure. And now he's taken to hiding the aluminum foil and the wax paper, too. Darn it. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion. |
||
7/16/2009 3:59 am |
Let me guess ... condoms, as a variation on the experience are no where to be found either?  *checks to see which site he's logged into* Oops. 
| ||
7/16/2009 6:15 am |
Have you even seen cling wrap in the pretty colors - blue - green - pink? The pink makes a cute little skirt I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me! Typos are human - perfection isn't
| ||
7/16/2009 7:25 am |
I hope she cut holes for the mouth and nose and not just the nipples. Otherwise he wouldn't have been too sensitive when unwrapped.
| ||
7/16/2009 10:04 am |
darn it so wool fetish huh  thanks for reading and as per Dave Allen "May your God go with you"
| ||
7/16/2009 3:39 pm |
Should have read this article before I ran out of the Glad wrap  ...Brought some with me from US three years ago ..Ours breaks easily and not fit for the purpose   SL  Keep love in your heart ! SL
| ||
7/16/2009 8:59 pm |
Hmmm… Ana, you've inspired me... It could work wonder for fighting on those few typical gravitational forced areas. Shall we.  ♥ Da gurl next door
| ||
7/16/2009 9:01 pm |
Let me guess ... condoms, as a variation on the experience are no where to be found either? *checks to see which site he's logged into* Oops. Chocolate body paint though, is another thing altogether. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/16/2009 9:03 pm |
Have you even seen cling wrap in the pretty colors - blue - green - pink? The pink makes a cute little skirt Aw, come on, just give it a try? I'll be in pink. You love me in pink. (Nope, not even the idea of me in pink, Ophelia. Sigh) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/16/2009 9:08 pm |
I hope she cut holes for the mouth and nose and not just the nipples. Otherwise he wouldn't have been too sensitive when unwrapped. Ah, logistics, logistics, logistics. Good thing you and I are both obsessed with the finer details. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/16/2009 9:10 pm |
darn it so wool fetish huh Oooooooooo, I know a Kiwi lass that would be perfect for you. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/16/2009 9:11 pm |
Should have read this article before I ran out of the Glad wrap ...Brought some with me from US three years ago ..Ours breaks easily and not fit for the purpose SL I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/16/2009 9:13 pm |
Hmmm… Ana, you've inspired me... It could work wonder for fighting on those few typical gravitational forced areas. Shall we. Wait, what am I saying??? I'm SHORT. Half a roll, tops. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/17/2009 5:41 am |
I've always seen you more as a lady in Red. The following year, the school had a dress code. OPPS!! I'm not locked in here with you, you're locked in here with me! Typos are human - perfection isn't
| ||
7/17/2009 7:59 am |
I've always seen you more as a lady in Red. The following year, the school had a dress code. OPPS!! And drat that dress code!!! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/17/2009 1:03 pm |
lol... *speechless* between the stars, beyond the planet mars, there Sens will be
| ||
7/17/2009 2:37 pm |
Just to make sure you get it all done the right way, start with the legs and work your way UP.. Try the convincing look and give it a second try. Need to know if I should give it a shot as well. Nice ...ah (un) wrappingweekend.
| ||
7/17/2009 5:19 pm |
Too much of the effort and he won't probably stay still and, until you're done, will probably be a fight or two in between and the mood goes on the saturday's water..
| ||
 7/17/2009 10:48 pm |
I think the point is to just spring it on him. DDM
| ||
7/17/2009 10:56 pm |
lol... *speechless* I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/17/2009 10:58 pm |
Just to make sure you get it all done the right way, start with the legs and work your way UP.. Try the convincing look and give it a second try. Need to know if I should give it a shot as well. Nice ...ah (un) wrappingweekend. I'm gonna have to try something else, just you wait. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/17/2009 10:59 pm |
Too much of the effort and he won't probably stay still and, until you're done, will probably be a fight or two in between and the mood goes on the saturday's water.. You've just given me an idea, Vora baby! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/17/2009 11:00 pm |
I think the point is to just spring it on him. DDM (If this doesn't work, I'm so gonna blame you, heehee) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 3:04 am |
He can't keep hiding everything! Try preparing this special dessert - a Jello bath! Get the tub about half full and put in about 40 packets of jello crystals (Try to use the same flavours for the sake of aesthetics) - they take around 2 hours to set nicely. I tried this with lime green jello in a hotel bath. The theory was that it would add a new dimension of sensuality. After returning from a lovely romantic dinner we slipped into the tub. That was the point that the theory came apart ...... it is very difficult to be sensual in the middle of a hilarious food fight! The next morning it was precious (and a bit embarrassing) watching housekeeping clean up these globs of green slime that we had overlooked. The best laid plans of mice and men ...... AL
| ||
7/18/2009 3:07 am |
Cling wrapping in the water! You've just given me an idea, Vora baby! Tell me, what idea you got?
| ||
7/18/2009 5:23 am |
I've given him EVERY look, Marijan. I even tried the cross eyed look. No go. He says it makes him think too much of left-overs. I'm gonna have to try something else, just you wait.  I am brilliant. Nice warm chocolate or the  our new dip is really very nice......I def. have to get you some after I return from Brest on the 4tf of August or so. He ´ll die for a good wrap by then. We´ll get you (un) wrapping hubby.
| ||
7/18/2009 5:33 am |
He can't keep hiding everything! Try preparing this special dessert - a Jello bath! Get the tub about half full and put in about 40 packets of jello crystals (Try to use the same flavours for the sake of aesthetics) - they take around 2 hours to set nicely. I tried this with lime green jello in a hotel bath. The theory was that it would add a new dimension of sensuality. After returning from a lovely romantic dinner we slipped into the tub. That was the point that the theory came apart ...... it is very difficult to be sensual in the middle of a hilarious food fight! The next morning it was precious (and a bit embarrassing) watching housekeeping clean up these globs of green slime that we had overlooked. The best laid plans of mice and men ...... AL  things this would have been something for Christophe hehehehe..... I guess this is not a good story for the meeting in 10 days. Mmmm always nice to see how Research and development are imbedded in someones live, you are always in for a real surprise.
| ||
7/18/2009 7:09 am |
He can't keep hiding everything! Try preparing this special dessert - a Jello bath! Get the tub about half full and put in about 40 packets of jello crystals (Try to use the same flavours for the sake of aesthetics) - they take around 2 hours to set nicely. I tried this with lime green jello in a hotel bath. The theory was that it would add a new dimension of sensuality. After returning from a lovely romantic dinner we slipped into the tub. That was the point that the theory came apart ...... it is very difficult to be sensual in the middle of a hilarious food fight! The next morning it was precious (and a bit embarrassing) watching housekeeping clean up these globs of green slime that we had overlooked. The best laid plans of mice and men ...... AL I think I'll look for the Chocolate Pudding Jello--that way we can also use the whipped cream and the chocolate syrup, too. Thanks for popping in--glad to meet you! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 7:19 am |
Why do I have the impression that someone else isn't that enthusiastic? Tell me, what idea you got? I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 7:21 am |
well try a different wrap....wrap him in chocolate dip first. I am brilliant. Nice warm chocolate or the our new dip is really very nice......I def. have to get you some after I return from Brest on the 4tf of August or so. He ´ll die for a good wrap by then. We´ll get you (un) wrapping hubby. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 7:24 am |
Talk about hiding things this would have been something for Christophe hehehehe..... I guess this is not a good story for the meeting in 10 days. Mmmm always nice to see how Research and development are imbedded in someones live, you are always in for a real surprise.I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 8:34 am |
You're going to bring your uncontrollable urges to heel? Damn, I didn't think you'd take me seriously! 
| ||
7/18/2009 2:42 pm |
And they said you don't learn anything from this blog, Marijan! have to make sure not to think of his jello bath when I meet Al and the others in Brest in 10 days .He can have real goovy remarks so it could happen I need a time out for a to get in again with a "did I miss anything face" .Can you picture your chair in a jello bath........
| ||
7/18/2009 2:47 pm |
If it's dark chocolate I'm gonna order double, Marijan. Just don´t tell hin I told you hehehe
| ||
7/18/2009 3:14 pm |
Wow, Al--now THAT'S an idea. I think I'll look for the Chocolate Pudding Jello--that way we can also use the whipped cream and the chocolate syrup, too. > Thanks for popping in--glad to meet you! AL
| ||
7/18/2009 8:04 pm |
 naughty brain just kicked in again Just realized that Saran wrap would work much better than duct tape no sticky residual  And before I got the clutch pushed in again  A valentines day present An hollowed out banana, Sarene wrap and a giant chocolate covered strawberry .. Ohh yeah and a 3rd member The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart
| ||
7/18/2009 9:04 pm |
You're going to bring your uncontrollable urges to heel? Damn, I didn't think you'd take me seriously! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 9:08 pm |
Well ahm have to make sure not to think of his jello bath when I meet Al and the others in Brest in 10 days .He can have real goovy remarks so it could happen I need a time out for a to get in again with a "did I miss anything face" .Can you picture your chair in a jello bath........ I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 9:10 pm |
Ähm well we actually do have a very nice chocolate mousse product you will realy like......and hey ask Al for one as well......you can do double deals hehehe. Just don´t tell hin I told you hehehe God, if it isn't sex, it's food in my blog. And now it's both sex AND food. Amazing. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 9:12 pm |
Chocolate syrup and whipped cream, Munchkin - why not throw in some custard and fruit and make the whole thing a sensual trifle (or triflingly sensual)! AL Just, well, hope nobody mistakes us for a real order of dessert, ack! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/18/2009 9:13 pm |
naughty brain just kicked in again Just realized that Saran wrap would work much better than duct tape no sticky residual And before I got the clutch pushed in again A valentines day present An hollowed out banana, Sarene wrap and a giant chocolate covered strawberry .. Ohh yeah and a 3rd member Erm, whose member? *runs* I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/19/2009 2:41 am |
Aw, come on, pack some packets of Jello for Brest, Marijan. Where's your sense of adventure? I recommend Grape.  I do not like it that much.......I prefer the mmmmmmm more sensual orange-.......... one. hehehe you will smell/feel I promiss and love it just as much as I/ we do.
| ||
7/19/2009 2:48 am |
Oooooo, chocolate mousse, now you're talking. God, if it isn't sex, it's food in my blog. And now it's both sex AND food. Amazing. you can do a lot of wrapping with Hubby. It´s just an idea.....
| ||
7/19/2009 4:06 am |
If you only knew, and the adventure I better have outside the R&D weeks. But who told you about the grape bath /:> I do not like it that much.......I prefer the mmmmmmm more sensual orange-.......... one. hehehe you will smell/feel I promiss and love it just as much as I/ we do.So that's not bath gel I smell on you, that's...Jello? I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/19/2009 4:10 am |
Maybe we should have you in our R & D team as test couple you can do a lot of wrapping with Hubby. It´s just an idea.....I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/19/2009 7:30 am |
Did she eat him with or without the wrap?  Just wondering  It's nice to be insane when No one is watching 
| ||
7/19/2009 2:29 pm |
As long as you promise me we won't do anything too kinky--you know, like anything involving S & M, necrophilia, bestiality, and vegetables. But oranges, chocolate, ginger and the like are ok with you??? good.......you got the job (including hubby ofcourse)
| ||
7/19/2009 5:07 pm |
A third member?? Erm, whose member? *runs* Aha you can run but you can not hide The giggling gives you away every time Hey want to know something freaky .. about 4 of my blogs back you and I talked about Walter Cronkite .. And i thought that he had died on 6-26-09 an Friday .. i had even remembered him saying "and that's the way it was/is" Walter Cronkite? Latest news is he's very ill, but still hanging on. And happy birthday to your daughter, Tex. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grrr you are not helping hehehehe Daughters birthday party was great .. had it out at the lake .. good food, friends and beverages Imagine my surprise when i opened the paper Saturday and seen that he had just died .. on a friday ..7-17-09 .... OUuuuuuu "I am a legend in my own mind" and slightly freaked out because I must have dreamed about him dying just 3 weeks ago ... dooo do dooo do " Twilight Zone theme song playing .. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart
| ||
7/19/2009 9:45 pm |
Did she eat him with or without the wrap? Just wondering Now if you'll excuse me, I have to floss. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/19/2009 9:47 pm |
OK we promise not to include any handcuffed dead carrots or sushi wrapped in seaweed But oranges, chocolate, ginger and the like are ok with you??? good.......you got the job (including hubby ofcourse) OOoooo, chocolate orange...hums happily. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/19/2009 9:49 pm |
Aha you can run but you can not hide The giggling gives you away every time Hey want to know something freaky .. about 4 of my blogs back you and I talked about Walter Cronkite .. And i thought that he had died on 6-26-09 an Friday .. i had even remembered him saying "and that's the way it was/is" Walter Cronkite? Latest news is he's very ill, but still hanging on. And happy birthday to your daughter, Tex. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grrr you are not helping hehehehe Daughters birthday party was great .. had it out at the lake .. good food, friends and beverages Imagine my surprise when i opened the paper Saturday and seen that he had just died .. on a friday ..7-17-09 .... OUuuuuuu "I am a legend in my own mind" and slightly freaked out because I must have dreamed about him dying just 3 weeks ago ... dooo do dooo do " Twilight Zone theme song playing .. OK, now we know--you're psychic, I'm psychotic. Sounds about right. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/20/2009 6:38 am |
I know, right?? It IS freaky. OK, now we know--you're psychic, I'm psychotic. Sounds about right. nothing wrong with psychotic, as long as all the knives and sharp objects are safely locked away. The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart
| ||
7/20/2009 8:15 am |
nothing wrong with psychotic, as long as all the knives and sharp objects are safely locked away. Mu-hahahahaha-mu-hahahahahahaha-muhahahahahahahh*hack* *choke* *wheeze* (Dangit, I need to practice my Dr. Evil laugh more often these days) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/21/2009 3:35 pm |
But...but...but...I like sushi!!! OOoooo, chocolate orange...hums happily. Will send you some nice items to test when I am in Brest next week. Oh by the way I will def. think of you when we go to this fabulous seafood restaurant. (I will send you also a picture of the oysters hehehe )just a few more days and I will be smelling like chocolate-orange
| ||
7/21/2009 8:22 pm |
I will need your address dear Ana. Will send you some nice items to test when I am in Brest next week. Oh by the way I will def. think of you when we go to this fabulous seafood restaurant. (I will send you also a picture of the oysters hehehe )just a few more days and I will be smelling like chocolate-orange Oooooo, oysters. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/21/2009 10:17 pm |
Who do you email with, Marijan? I can probably get your email address from them, then I can email you my address. Will send you a little something from here, too. Oooooo, oysters. By the way finally did the sensual trip post
| ||
7/22/2009 6:31 am |
We both have the one from your spanish visitor. I miss Tony here a lot, he was one of the first posts I read every day. By the way finally did the sensual trip post I'll go out next week and look for stuff for you, too. (Been sick for almost two weeks now, nasty viral thing going around, triggered my asthma, too, bleh).Off to your blog! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/25/2009 8:52 am |
Mistaken that cling wrap with clear tape! Whoops....lol....did I ever mention that my man "was" a sexy hairy guy? Took care of that for a while. You could say he was mighty sensitive! Michelle 
| ||
7/26/2009 2:09 am |
Mistaken that cling wrap with clear tape! Whoops....lol....did I ever mention that my man "was" a sexy hairy guy? Took care of that for a while. You could say he was mighty sensitive! You're a dangerous woman, Chelley baby. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
7/26/2009 7:37 pm |
OMG, I keep thinking of that scene in The 40 Year Old Virgin, where Steve Carell had a wax job for his chest, LOL! You're a dangerous woman, Chelley baby. I am not so much dangerous as I have a sad sense of humor. Michelle
| ||
7/27/2009 2:51 am |
That would be my very favorite scene from that movie. I do not believe for one moment that it was scripted. I think Steve cried out in horror and it was hilarious because it is so real! I am not so much dangerous as I have a sad sense of humor. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
8/14/2009 7:43 am |
| ||
9/18/2009 1:25 pm |
Greaseproof paper, i shall say no more.
| ||
9/30/2009 2:59 am |
I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
9/30/2009 3:00 am |
Greaseproof paper, i shall say no more. You forgot to mention the trussing twine. Ya hen, Morag I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
|
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
