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Prophylactic Promos I've been hectic lately due to this estate case involving a dead man and the three women in his life, and well, when that's the equation to the problem, you can bet it can get pretty hairy--which is why I haven't been on here much. But lately I came across this little bit of news here in my part of the globe that just had to be shared with everyone else. Ahem: By Thea Alberto INQUIRER website First Posted 17:50:00 02/04/2009 Filed Under: Unemployment, Employment MANILA, Philippines–Are you married, have “strong knees”, and looking for a job? Try condom testing. Durex condom is looking for 500 official condom testers in the Philippines. And all you need to do is try out Durex products for four weeks and comment online on their quality. The first to accomplish the form and give the best answer to the question “What makes me the best Durex Condom Tester?” will win P50,000 cash, plus free products from Durex. On its website, Durex said applicants have to go to (their Philippine website) and click on the portion that will lead them to (another of their websites) where they can fill out a screener form. “Chosen applicants will also be given a tester kit which contains a pack of each of the following Durex variants – Love, Pleasuremax, Performa, Fetherlite, Tingle, Strawberry,” Durex said. Tester kits will be sent to chosen applicants via courier, it said. Candidates must be 21 to 35 years of age, married, and “experienced.” Participants must also be “open to further training,” have “strong knees,” and “willing to work long hours.” So guys, wanna give it a try? You know, I'm just curious as to what sort of "further training" they might have in mind. As for the "strong knees" part, I wonder if Durex will provide an endless supply of that vaunted local aphrodisiac and stamina builder, the balut*? Or do they have to leg press at least 50 pounds or something first?? And dangit, I'm over 35. *balut is a boiled duck egg with days old duck embryo already formed within I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho instead of Oh God in the throes of passion. |
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Strong knees is odd, isn't it? I mean, logistically I'd think a strong back would make more sense. Or ... whatever muscle the Keegle works out... but knees? Cheers! 
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2/24/2009 7:46 pm |
 ....what? 21-35 only?????strong knees?????  all I can think of is, it must be a 'young' company. perhaps so inexperienced they only know one way? or do they just come in 'kiddie' size?  don't make me tell you the story about the old bull and the young bull........  once an oldhoglover, always an oldhoglover!
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2/24/2009 8:09 pm |
Further training? Are we not expert yet?  In any case, surely I'm not qualified as a possible applicant due to age restriction.   
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Strong knees is odd, isn't it? I mean, logistically I'd think a strong back would make more sense. Or ... whatever muscle the Keegle works out... but knees? Ooooo, and speaking of Kegels... ...one two three (pause and hold)...one two three (pause and hold)... I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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....what? 21-35 only?????strong knees????? all I can think of is, it must be a 'young' company. perhaps so inexperienced they only know one way? or do they just come in 'kiddie' size? don't make me tell you the story about the old bull and the young bull........ I'll give you free Tingle samples if you tell me aaalllllllllllll about it. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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Further training? Are we not expert yet? In any case, surely I'm not qualified as a possible applicant due to age restriction. I've got a trick or two (or three) I can share with the gals--all guaranteed to make their guy's head spin, mwahahahahahahaaaaaa! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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And do they pay overtime? And what if the guy rolls over and sleeps, does that count too?? Logistics, logistics. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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I can perform a quickie marriage for you if you find a grocery boy within the age range. Free, too. I'm going for the Pleasuremax. But hang on (pardon the pun), what if they only give you a wall to be propped against? Maybe that's where the strong knees bit comes in. Maybe then you'd better get one of those support belts electric post climbers wear. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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2/24/2009 11:38 pm |
well, for years now i have had this problem with condoms, i put one on and booof it goes all floppy. realizing i had a huge problem that restricted my shagging ability, you see as soon as this bird says i only do safe sex, thats it i might as well go up the pub so i had to do something about it. So last week, i brought every flavor and type there was in the world, peanut butter, nope floppy, roast beef and gravy, nope floppy and this went on for an hour, condoms were strewn about the bedroom, a carpet of rubber, then................yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee strawberry flavor, thats the one, it works. so why do you need strong knees, well you have to get up and change the dvd for another one so many times.
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hahahaha i saw that news and i keep on laughing when my officemate told hey i want to apply for that work the most beautiful view is the one I share with you
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interesting! but m single so, can i still get the kit? anyways, when i was working in makati, a friend of mine use a condom doing their deeds unfortunately, that condom left inside her.. thus, she has to be rushed to makati med to remove it! do u think the guys umm..... knees is not strong enough that it shrunk inside and left my friend in embarrassing situation.. lol what am i talking about here! haha hello tita A.. musta u? (u may ask how did i know it.. m the first person she called to let me know that she cannot report for work cuz of that reason.. and yes, she's so embarrassed telling her tale.) will ask her to try durex instead. hehe"never view anyone as a priority that views you as an option!”[ 
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I've still got 4 weeks to go yet....   
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2/25/2009 4:38 am |
Working long hours? I test you long time. Sod that.
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"What makes the best Durex condom tester?" I want to read the essays that struggle to answer that question. Musta. My name is Rodolfo "Thunderhips" Baricoso. My GF Sizy and me has practiced the safe sex for six months. She loves me very much and is pretty like MariaClara in a miniskirt. I am well-endowed (to her think, hehe) and I am skilled to roll the condom onto it properly. I give my woman the good love, even she says the BEST she never ever had. Better than her previous BF, Edwin, who is a greasy pig and does not participate at safe sex. Do I have strong knees? Yes. I do. So now you know who is the best tester of Durex condoms. It is me. Thank you. Hmmm. I predict a riot. ~ B. I bet your name then was Abelardo "The Gyrator" Makalaglagpanti. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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well, for years now i have had this problem with condoms, i put one on and booof it goes all floppy. realizing i had a huge problem that restricted my shagging ability, you see as soon as this bird says i only do safe sex, thats it i might as well go up the pub so i had to do something about it. So last week, i brought every flavor and type there was in the world, peanut butter, nope floppy, roast beef and gravy, nope floppy and this went on for an hour, condoms were strewn about the bedroom, a carpet of rubber, then................yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee strawberry flavor, thats the one, it works. so why do you need strong knees, well you have to get up and change the dvd for another one so many times. Hopefully you don't get a bird that's allergic to strawberries. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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hahahaha i saw that news and i keep on laughing when my officemate told hey i want to apply for that work I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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interesting! but m single so, can i still get the kit? anyways, when i was working in makati, a friend of mine use a condom doing their deeds unfortunately, that condom left inside her.. thus, she has to be rushed to makati med to remove it! do u think the guys umm..... knees is not strong enough that it shrunk inside and left my friend in embarrassing situation.. lol what am i talking about here! haha hello tita A.. musta u? (u may ask how did i know it.. m the first person she called to let me know that she cannot report for work cuz of that reason.. and yes, she's so embarrassed telling her tale.) will ask her to try durex instead. heheGeez, I can picture your friend in the ER now, facing a nurse with LOOOOOONG tweezers and a speculum. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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OMG, I forgot to wish you a Belated Happy Birthday, Dean!!! I bet you both still got happenin' hips too. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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I've still got 4 weeks to go yet.... Blimey, NOW I'm depressed about turning 58. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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Working long hours? I test you long time. Sod that. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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2/25/2009 7:09 am |
 not eligilble, can't you litigate against them for discrimination or summatA loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
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just curious about the training they're going to undertake... do they hire trainers too, what do you think are the qualifications??? waiting for you reply.........hayzzz,,, im in need of another source of income  oizz... not bad asking nman db  farahdise 
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2/25/2009 8:56 pm |
Now you got me thinking that maybe we can get slots as trainers instead of being the trainees. I've got a trick or two (or three) I can share with the gals--all guaranteed to make their guy's head spin, mwahahahahahahaaaaaa!  Can I just be the 'scorer'?
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2/25/2009 8:59 pm |
just curious about the training they're going to undertake... do they hire trainers too, what do you think are the qualifications??? waiting for you reply.........hayzzz,,, im in need of another source of income oizz... not bad asking nman db paid as well. so, I think I would like to be a trainer too! 
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2/25/2009 10:14 pm |
Hey, I want to hear about the old bull and the young bull!! I'll give you free Tingle samples if you tell me aaalllllllllllll about it. I think you probably already know this one, but... and old bull and a young bull stood upon a ridge one day looking down at a meadow full of cows. the young bull says, why don't we run down there and ...(ummm...do?) one of those cows! the old bull says, why don't we walk down and do them all?  once an oldhoglover, always an oldhoglover!
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