Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > MunchkinMatron2 > Not Necessarily The News |
|
Ring My Thing I've always said it's a good thing I don't run a phone sex business, the way I get the sniffles. Don't get me wrong, I consider my voice pretty OK, and when the itchy throat is just beginning it takes on a husky, boudoir quality that can probably make me charge ten percent extra. But when the colds hit me full blast I start sounding like George Burns crossed with Marge Simpson, and, needless to say, hearing someone at the other end of the line moaning like an arthritic octogenarian with a bad case of laryngitis is definitely a libido killer. I write this because I remember this one time in the Clean Room chatroom, when one of the women I regularly had a laugh with admitted that she once moonlighted as a phone sex operator. My curiosity perked, I proceeded to ask her how that went, and she chirpily replied, “'Twas no biggie, luv–why, I'd be on the phone getting some bloke off while doing me ironing.” That just cracked me up. Really. I mean, here you are, some horny dude, paying so much per minute, and you have NO idea what's really going on with the woman getting your jollies up, or how she even looks. Consider the following scenarios, with the supposedly hot-and-horny babe at the other end of the phone-- “Oooohhhhh, am I getting you really HOT now? Want me to make you hotter?” (while she takes lasagna out of the oven, hair in foam rollers). “Mmmmm, I'm fondling you and squeezing gently,” (while she's shaping meatballs for dinner, gunky apron on). “Oh yes! Yes! Harder! Now! More!!” (while she's filing her nails, face slathered with mud masque). “I'm touching myself, oh yes, mmmmmmm.” (while she's bleaching her hairy upper lip). If you'll excuse me, I think I just heard the phone ring.  I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho instead of Oh God in the throes of passion. |
|||
9/17/2008 7:30 am |
put it in, put it in, now, now, fill me up, as you are putting the dishes in the dishwasher. dont know why i waste my money on them chat lines
| ||
|
It really is a good option for working-from-home, isn't it? Having a bedroom remote office appeals. What's that number, you say? Cheers! 
| ||
9/17/2008 8:17 am |
Uppsss! just dropping to say hello and the cat picture is nice look my auntie cat but its died already...Anyway, I dont care what people do online everyone have own business,.. So take good care of your self wish you good luck Your thought is my thought.. 
| ||
|
What's a chat line??? AND how come you know so many chat line phrases??  Tone.   
| ||
|
put it in, put it in, now, now, fill me up, as you are putting the dishes in the dishwasher. dont know why i waste my money on them chat lines I should just put up a number for people to call me up and have me sing lewd limericks at them, huh? 3 euros per dirty ditty. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
It really is a good option for working-from-home, isn't it? Having a bedroom remote office appeals. What's that number, you say? One eight hundred-FONE-A-MOAN. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Uppsss! just dropping to say hello and the cat picture is nice look my auntie cat but its died already...Anyway, I dont care what people do online everyone have own business,.. So take good care of your self wish you good luckI'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
What's a chat line??? AND how come you know so many chat line phrases?? Tone. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Oh baby, Iet me grasp your hot baguette of looooooove. (Hey! What's so bad about foam rollers? I got 2 sets!) Hugs, Pilgrim Dan! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
 Something tells me you and I will be snickering all afternoon if we ever get together, Mariya. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Hi Daph!! Oo nga, was wondering what happened to you. Glad to see you back here. And hehe, good to see you think this post is nice. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
It wasn't me, honest! The evil twin excuse. I've heard THAT one before. I've used it myself. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Hiya Wang. Erm, one eight hundred-FONE-A-MOAN. Hopefully they haven't transferred and you end up calling the nearest Archdiocese. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
The funniest Beavis and Butthead skit ever had something to do with phone sex. I'd better not go into that. Not here. I'm sorry to read that you're down with the sniffles. Just reading that makes me cringe at the thought of the coming winter. Everyone's gonna be sniffling then, and I'll be in Hell. Phone s**x. Chat s**x. Cam s**x. It's all mutually-assisted masturbation, isn't it? Does that add to, or take away from the stigma? ~ B. Are you, you know, Catholic? Better check them palms, B. (I wanna see that B & B skit!) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
9/18/2008 5:19 am |
To associate "phone sex" with the "moaning" of the "arthritic octogenarian with a bad case of laryngitis"! You are so so original, Ana! I now start to hate my laryngitis so much! 
| ||
|
To associate "phone sex" with the "moaning" of the "arthritic octogenarian with a bad case of laryngitis"! You are so so original, Ana! I now start to hate my laryngitis so much! I used to think I'll start being outrageous when I'm an old woman, but I thought, heck, why wait? I want to look back on my life and say, "Gee, I had FUN!" I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
LMAO, Alec!!! *buzz buzz ring ring* I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
That merkin bling will forever after occupy a place of honor in my blog, Balty. Tickles me pink, it does---well, not literally. I don't get it either, with the guys who pay for phone sex--I mean, for all he knows he's getting a septuagenarian with blue hair at the other end of the line, right? Not that I'm knocking phone sex--it can spice up things when done with someone special. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
 the line's getting busy now  Hang on, I'm singing my lewd version of Deck the Halls to a caller right now... I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Marijan, you could have charged him a hefty per hour fee, just reading!!! Dang!! I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
*lends Tone my battered copy of Chat Line Phrases For Dummies to get him ready for his trip to Manila* 1. Hello. 2. Hello. 3. Hello. 4. Hello. 1001. Hello. When do we get to the bit where she says... 2001. Can I make you miserable for the rest of your life... Marry me.  Tone.
| ||
|
What a great book. 1. Hello. 2. Hello. 3. Hello. 4. Hello. 1001. Hello. When do we get to the bit where she says... 2001. Can I make you miserable for the rest of your life... Marry me. Tone. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
I better type up a lease contract for him then. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
Doooooon't tempt me. I'm seriously considering a career shift, and I'm betting the phone sex biz is a lot less stressful than being a lawyer trying to untangle all the mess that people make. (now really ponders getting an iPhone) I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
| ||
|
taktaktak iPhone... how's it going techy-Ana?  what a career shift?!I know that's you, Jello. I can hear you eating cornik. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
|
×
×