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 | Blogs > toneboney > toneboney > I’ve got Crabs!!!! And I’m pregnant. |
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toneboney
4/27/2008 3:51 pm |
Don't be silly I'm a MAN. I’m PP’d off with writing poems so I’ve decided to do a day in the life of toneboney for a change. Well, I got up this morning, as one does in the morning. Side stepped the switch on the computer, and plugged the kettle in. (what a stupid statement, I actually plugged the kettle lead in not the kettle). I put two slices of bread in the toaster, and being a smart single bloke (to save on washing up pots and pans) I put two eggs in the kettle so I could have boiled eggs as well. Hey eggy soldiers. Who needs a woman. hu! Yep, like all well thought out plans you’ve got to take into account “X” the unexpected. One of the eggs broke and squished inside the kettle. Hey not a problem, eggy soldiers and an egg sandwich. I did have to put in four spoons of coffee to take the taste of egg out of my coffee, no real problem, I’m versatile. Being Sunday I decided to go to church, so drove into Mazarron town and parked up. I didn’t get as far as the church front door, because just to the right is a little cafe, and who was working today, Yep Christine, so I had to go in for a coffee, (as I still had the taste of coffee egg in my mouth). She has got the biggest “ears” I have ever seen. So I decided I would help the Spanish economy and had two lots of “toast and tomatoes” and six cups of coffee. As I said in my previous blog, Saturday night I pulled this Dutch bird. So I was constantly checking my phone to see if she had text’d or called me. If you’ve ever been in a Spanish cafe, you’d know why I had to visually check the phone. (They don’t talk, they shout) Anyway, there was no call or message from her, which didn’t surprise me, because she didn’t have my phone number! Hey if she was that serious about me, she could have asked a thousand people if they had my phone number. A long shot, hmm! Anyway now that I’m sober I’m not really sure that I did pull.... I think she was probably just in the same room as me on Saturday night, and I let my imagination run away. (That’s my feminine side coming out again. Gollocks, I’m a man, I should have more control over my emotions). So back home again and I had a twitchy thingy, and succumbed and switched on my computer. Craperoony, I spent the next five hours replying to emails from women. (With the recent blogs exposing fake people, I've learnt a lot, good old cut and paste and send the same old email to all of them....) Great, this is easy. I could cut and paste to all the Ugly ones, “Sorry you misunderstood my profile I am gay” (thanks Scott, lol), and the sexy ones with small firm ears, (deep intake of breath), I replied to. Again with cut and paste, to my demise. BUT, like the egg in the kettle thingy.. Gollocks again... I messed up again.. I cut and pasted..... and now I’ve got sex of them... whoops sorry six of them, coming over to stay with me all at the same time! Hey all is not lost I can go on holiday when they come over... Smart move toneboney. So I went to the beach for a few hours...(you might be an intellect and be adding up all these hours, and say, how comes toneboney has 36 hours in a day? I have no answer, just believe in miracles. Well there was a lot more to my day, but to be honest, I have got to wake up to go to sleep. Good night bloggers, I don’t have crabs and I’m not pregnant, but I do enjoy practicing.... Making women pregnant, not getting crabs. Tone. |
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 4/27/2008 6:00 pm |
OMG you crack up  just be thankful the Dutch girlie didn't infest you with the fleas of a thousand camels  And don't we all enjoy practicing  I plan to be back in the saddle next week lol  actually after I visit with Entrance lol not during lmao hang on this is getting out of hand...I'm leaving NOW!!! before I really say something bad. Naughty Fancy, now go back to your corner and 
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4/27/2008 7:01 pm |
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4/27/2008 8:52 pm |
Well, after canoodling with that bush, I'd rather think your problem might be more of the fungal variety. I'm dyslexic. I scream Ho Dog instead of Oh God in the throes of passion.
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4/27/2008 11:10 pm |
Well, after canoodling with that bush, I'd rather think your problem might be more of the fungal variety.
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4/28/2008 6:35 am |
 stopping by to say hiwake up with a smile on your face, a smile in your eyes and a smile in your heart, you are loved 
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4/28/2008 6:43 am |
OMG you crack up just be thankful the Dutch girlie didn't infest you with the fleas of a thousand camels And don't we all enjoy practicing I plan to be back in the saddle next week lol actually after I visit with Entrance lol not during lmao hang on this is getting out of hand...I'm leaving NOW!!! before I really say something bad. Naughty Fancy, now go back to your corner and I think you have said enough here for me to write to FF and get you banned from the Bolden Gollocks.  Tone.
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4/28/2008 6:44 am |
 Belly. Tone.
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4/28/2008 6:47 am |
Well, after canoodling with that bush, I'd rather think your problem might be more of the fungal variety. Tone.
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4/28/2008 6:48 am |
ROFL..yes fungal variety for sure...and ghekkos..not crabs..!!!...lol... Tone.
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4/28/2008 7:29 am |
stopping by to say hithanks for stopping bye. I hope all is well with you. (No news). Take care, Tony.
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4/28/2008 12:37 pm |
OMG! May I recommend Sepia? Its really good for getting one's equilibrium back....at least on the feminine side.
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4/28/2008 1:09 pm |
You recommend "Sepia"!!! I want to see a photo of her first!! Excuse me for asking Charlie, but what exactly are you looking at up in the air??? Tone.
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4/29/2008 12:15 am |
You recommend "Sepia"!!! I want to see a photo of her first!! Excuse me for asking Charlie, but what exactly are you looking at up in the air??? Tone.
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4/29/2008 8:18 am |
It's a secret! You are doing a nodding dog with your photo. Head up head down etc. ROFL. Tone.
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